Chapter 1
Most people have doubts about their past, regretting the decisions that they made, and many would say that if they could get one more chance to make things right, it would be a blessing, a sign that God has forgiven their sins...
But that isn't my experience.
The leaves on the ground were mixed with red, greens, and charming browns, and the pavement that my aged body had slumbered upon was cracked and scarred. I rubbed my head, tiredly examining the autumn leaves on old oak trees nearby. In front of me stood a rusty gate that was locked up by a loose padlock, as well as a stone wall that was covered in dead vines.
The scenery felt familiar, but my confused mind could only comprehend a sign nearby that said Beverly Lane.
Each house on Beverly Lane had a steel gate with intricate designs (much like this one), but the other mansions did not contain a stone barricade. Instead, the majority of them used metal or picket fencing that exposed the properties to many forms of life. Now, there seemed to be no sign of life down Beverly Lane, and the trees that now covered the beautiful houses have now gone bare and lifeless. The only thing that seemed to be kept the same was the gate in front of me, which still resembled its shape.
Further ahead from the gate was what seemed to be a dome-shaped roof, with a pole that stuck out from the top of it. I tried to see what could be on top of the oddly shaped roof, but the only thing I could see was its rusted shade of green.
So, I tiredly stood up and hobbled to the gate, pulling at the padlock that was rusted to a chain. After a few moments of constant pulling, the padlock flung off the chains and the gates slowly opened, revealing a stone pathway that seemed to go for miles.
I cautiously entered into the pathway, observing the scenery once more, recognizing the stone wall that seemed to go along with the pathway. Unlike the other houses, the property was bear with only yellowing grape vines that wrapped itself around light posts. The stone wall was also unique, which stood about 10 feet tall and blocked out the view of the neighboring houses, almost as if the property had something to hide.
I finally stepped upon the main property, and in front of me stood a brick Victorian house that seemed to go up 50 feet, and a large fountain in the middle of the stone pathway that was covered in moist leaves and animal remains. There were small fern trees that outlined the circular shape of the property but was otherwise bare.
I peeked through the windows of the Victorian, hoping to see a magical sight from inside, but as I expected, the inside of the house was practically pitch black.
Suddenly, a loud groan echoed the silent atmosphere, and the front door slightly opened, revealing two glowing eyes from the crack.
I took a step back and examined the door, cautiously trying to grab anything to protect me and the thing beyond the walls. I tried to holler out to the strange entity, but there was no response, and the eyes disappeared from the doorway. I wanted to run from the ghastly sight, but my curiosity took over.
I made my way to the door and slowly opened it, causing the dirt on the floor to violently fly away from the entrance and into the dark crevasses of the corners. By the time I checked to see the red eyes, I couldn't see anything except for a fireplace that dimly lit what seemed to be the living room; and soon enough, I saw more than just light made from flames.
I saw fresh paint on the walls, furniture in every room of the first floor, and figures standing at the very back of the mansion.
I rubbed my eyes and tried to reassure myself that all of this was just my imagination, for the Victorian mansion on Beverly Lane has been left abandoned for sixty-two years.









Easy to read. Easy to understand. Easy to follow. I like this. Write more please :3
Read it again. Starting paragraph, I think the part where "your" is used should change to "their" just because it feels a bit weird to read it so suddenly.
The second thing (and this is just my personal opinion) is I think it's too short. Remember that this is the first thing readers will read when trying out your book. Although it is nicely written, it is not enough to make me WANT to read the next chapter. I see writers try and use this technique quite often, but it only works if the chapter has something to offer or some reader bait to throw. If It's short then give it more weight and re-read your own work and ask yourself questions about it all the time. "Does it make sense?" "Does this connect with me and possibly the reader emotionally?" "Does this make things interesting?" "Will this catch the reader's attention?" If you cant answer these types of questions with a yes, then you will know that your work lacks depth and you need to make a few changes. (This is as stated above only my opinion and just trying to help you β₯)