The Ivoryfang Pack

Autumn is its own creature. When the chill finds the air and the children share stories of ghouls and ghosts around a campfire, a shift happens. The Earth slows on its axis, and our young begin to change. The forests grow still and the moon paints the land in an eery light. The strength of silver lessens. Wards grow thin. Humans can feel it, that’s for certain, though they don’t know what it means.

We do.

Every Autumn Soltice, those coming-of-age, a ripe eighteen, shift. The Moon Goddess grants them their first shift, and every day after that, they are connected to their wolves. It’s two souls in one body, both looking out from the same set of eyes.

Not only granting them their first shift, the Moon Goddess also blesses each of her children with a soulmate. One person they are destined to be with and love until their last day.

With the world as large as it is, it’s become harder to find our mates. It takes longer now if we have to travel. It’s worth it. The two souls know that their person is out there, but at a certain point, make the choice to love another, if only to reproduce to ensure the strength of the pack. Strength comes in numbers, after all.

At age twenty, I can shift daily- and I do. The connection to my wolf, Serafine, is nothing short of a work of divinity. Every day she desires to run- who am I to rob her of that? Serafine’s fur is the same dark auburn as my hair, and her eyes are my deep blue eyes. It’s rare for a wolf to perfectly match their person- but when it happens, it’s a sign that the person and their wolf are so perfectly matched, it’s hard to tell where one ends and one begins. It’s rare, and it’s sacred. Serafine is a sacred beauty, a curious creature curated with the goddess’ hands.

Serafine is a restless soul.

So, every day, we run around the border of my pack’s territory. There are no limits to how far we can go, as long as we don’t enter another pack’s territory. Wolves are animals, and we have a fierce tie to our land- it is sacred to us, it’s in our bones. So, when an unknown wolf, rogue or not, enters our territory, it’s cause for concern.

Wolves protect each other, especially the old and the young. Our Alpha Isaac Gerard is barely older than me, and his mate, our Luna, Marcella Gerard, only has a year on me. Marcella and I were friends in school, and she's lovely. The Beta and Gamma are both older men, mated and happily married with kids. The Beta, my father, found my mother, his true mate, when he was my age.

My parents’ mating ceremony was thirty years ago, and they’ve shared a bed every night since. Part of me longed for that. A bigger part of me than I’d like to admit... it was hard to watch those around me find their “person.” I wanted mine, though I also saw why finding a soulmate could be detrimental.

My Aunt Katrin lost her mate three years ago. Their pack had been attacked by a bordering pack that wanted their territory. While Aunt Katrin’s pack maintained their land, her mate lost his life. Uncle Leland, the Boldman Pack Alpha died that day, and Aunt Katrin stopped being a Luna and became the Alpha. It wasn’t common for women to hold such a role, but the pack needed a leader. While Aunt Katrin was still trying to be their strength and lead them with a steady hand, she just wanted her mate. The loss of my uncle shook her more fiercely than anything else could. The loss of a soulmate drove most to a certain death. Aunt Katrin probably would be gone from this world too, if not for my cousins. She needed to live for them, and now the Boldman Pack needed her. I think she’s tired of being tired, and tired of being needed, though.

Losing Uncle Leland killed her, even though she still breathes. She’s never been the same since. She’s the husk of the bright, jubilant woman she once was. To make it worse, my cousins, Viessa and Finnea, have both found their mates and moved to their packs.

Viessa is now Luna Viessa of the Whitehide Pack, while Finnea is Luna Finnea of the Steeltail Pack. It’s not so rare that women descended from Alpha’s become mated to them. It made me wonder if I, myself, would end up with a Beta. Power tends to remain with power, recycling itself over and over again through various packs. The Moon Goddess is no trickster goddess- she has always made her motives and visions clear. Except for the ones involving me.

I, Camille Ardouin, daughter of Beta Basile Ardouin and Helene Ardouin of the Crimsonridge Pack, may or may not mate into status. At this point, I couldn't really care any less. I'm just lonely. It's hard to watch all of those that I love find their mates and live in love and stability. I'm happy for them, thrilled for them, actually. But it's hard. I want it for myself, so badly I can taste it.

Sometimes, I wake from a dream, and I swear I was looking out through his eyes- my mate's eyes. Those dreams are always outside, in a place lush with cushy white snow. It hangs from the trees and holds tight to the frozen ground. I can smell evergreen and the crisp scent of an incoming snowstorm. I run through the snow, kicking it up with my large paws as I go. The freedom that comes with it is exhilarating, and I find myself hoping that I am seeing what my mate is seeing, simply because it makes me happy to think of the one meant for me being that happy. Even if it's without me.

It makes me wish that we got snow. The Crimsonridge Pack lives on the cusp of the Olympic National Park in Washington state. I love the rain, that's for certain, but the snow only reaches the peaks of our mountains. One day, I'd like to see it.

Today was a day that made me not want to get out of bed. It was a traveling day- the Alpha's family, the Beta's family, and the Gamma's family were set to leave for the annual gathering of leaders in the United States, hosted by the new Alpha of the country in Colorado. It wasn't as if we were driving- we were flying on the Alpha's plane. I just don't do well on planes. I'll try to sleep, like I always do. I just hope that this time, I can.

Serafine starts a traveling day off by begging for a run. Today, she's more restless than usual.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"I'm not sure, Cami. I just have this feeling... we need to go for a run. Now," she stammered. She sounded stressed, which was so unlike her. It concerned me.

Rolling out of bed, the warmed comforter sliding down my bare legs, I immediately miss the warmth of my bed. In agitation, Serafine whines. I know she wants to run, I'm just so, so tired. Lately, it's as if my body is fighting me with every step. Today though, it wants to stretch. So I do- and it feels divine. The change is startling but I'll have to think about it later. Right now, the task at hand is to find my comfy clothes and walk to the forest's edge. That's where I let Serafine take control.

For now, I need clothes and a quick bite. If I have no energy, Serafine and I are both even more tired and useless. Pulling on a pair of leggings, a sports bra, socks, and sneakers, I meander on downstairs. The pack is already gathering, excited to leave. Alpha Isaac and Luna Marcella are sitting and eating, while Marcella holds her growing belly. It seems like the twins are always kicking. Marcella is glowing, and the couple is so insanely excited. The pack is excited too- one new pup is a blessing, but two? They've been praising the Moon Goddess for the gift. I have, too. I know Isaac and Marcella on a personal level, and I know they'll be great parents. They're lucky that the babies will be born in the autumn- it is our most sacred time.

The healer reported that it was a boy and a girl. This came as a relief to Marcella, because she'd already begun buying clothing for both boys and girls. The baby shower was only a week away, and the due date is not that long after. We'll spend four days in Colorado before returning back home. With the solstice nearing, our wolves crave being on their packs' soil. I don't really care for being far from home- Serafine dislikes it even more.

Wishing everyone a good morning, I dashed to the forest's edge, stripped, and shifted. Serafine's dark auburn hair caught the light of the sun and glistened red. In a moment's time, we were off. Serafine demanded to run and chase small woodland creatures, never catching them though- we never ate in this form. I may be fast, strong, and trained to fight, but I didn't kill innocents. None of us do- it's an unspoken rule.

I began my run back when my father mindlinked me- "Cami, time to come back and shower. We have to leave in an hour," he said softly. He hated making me shift back when I wasn't ready to.

"I'm on my way," I responded, trying to not sound defeated.

And so it begins, I thought, dread in the pit of my stomach.