Yarrow
Jessica places a yarrow flower on her twelve-year-old sister’s grave. The gravestone is partly covered in powdery snow. She carefully wipes it away with her hands and slowly kneels in front of the grave. Her trousers get wet from the snow, but she doesn’t care.
“Hi, Lindsey.” She whispers to the grave. “Sorry for not visiting you yesterday. I will visit every day from now on. I promise.”
She stares at the gravestone as if she expects her sister to answer. Then she continues.
“I visited Mom and Dad yesterday. Mom still barely talks to me. Dad says I need to give her more time. But I don’t think she will ever forgive me.”
She silently starts sobbing and covers her face in her hands.
“Mom is right. It is my fault you are dead. I should have been a better big sister. I should have kept you safe.”
Suddenly, she hears the rustling of some leaves behind her. She stands up and looks over. A young man is walking towards her. He is wearing a knitted cap, and his face is partially covered with a dark green scarf, but Jessica recognises those piercing blue eyes everywhere.
She takes her phone from her pocket and enters 1-1-2. She hovers her thumb over the call button and then looks back at the man.
“Are you following me again, Nate?”
Nate sighs. “Jess, I just wanted to talk to you.”
“I made it pretty clear I never wanted to talk to you again,” Jessica exclaims. She feels her heart pounding in her chest. Her hands shake, and her breathing becomes shallow and fast. She tenses all her muscles like a cornered animal ready to fight. Or flee.
“Look, I know things haven’t been that great between us lately,” Nate says. “But I still think we can make it work.”
Jessica sighs. “I told you, Nate. It is over. There is no us. Please leave me alone.”
Suddenly, Nate steps forward and grabs Jessica’s arm, and pulls. She is startled and struggles to get free. Her phone flies off and lands on Lindsey’s gravestone. The phone screen shatters loudly, breaking the eerie silence of the graveyard.
“You bitch,” Nate yells close to Jessica’s ear. “Who do you think you are? You should be grateful I want you back.”
He pushes Jessica with all his force, and she falls back onto the snow. Despite this, Jessica does not feel cold. On the contrary, she is sweating. Her heart races faster, and she feels like she can’t breathe.
Suddenly a man comes running towards them. He looks in his sixties and is wearing a green overall.
“Oi, leave her alone.” The man speaks in a strange accent that Jessica cannot place. He violently swings a giant spade in Nate’s direction.
“Don’t make me ask you twice, mate.” The man yells.
Nate stumbles back and runs away.
Jessica closes her eyes and focuses on her breathing. She slowly breathes in and back out, counting the seconds as she does it. After doing this for a minute or so, the sound of her heart beating in her head diminishes, and she opens her eyes again and sits up.
“Are you okay, miss?” the man asks. He looks concerned.
Jessica forces a smile. “I think so, yes. Thank you for, you know....”
“Eh, don’t worry about it, miss.” He laughs. “The bloke had it coming. Are you sure I don’t need to call a doctor for you, miss? Or an ambulance?”
Jessica stands up and brushes the snow from her coat and her pants.
“No, thank you. I am fine.”
The man shrugs. “If you say so. My name is Paul, by the way. I am the gardener of this cemetery.”
“I am Jessica.”
“Nice to meet you, Jessica. Are you the girl that is leaving beautiful flowers on that grave every day?” He points to Lindsey’s grave.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“Was she someone important to you?”
“She is my sister,” Jessica replies.
“Oh, I am sorry for your loss, miss. I am around graves every day. Yet, seeing a child’s grave still makes me sad every time. Some things you never get used to. Welp, back to work. If the bloke comes back, just yell. I’ll be at the cemetery all day.” He picks up his shovel and walks away.
Jessica picks up her phone from the ground. The screen is completely shattered. No way her phone still works. Then she spots that the collision made a small chip into the gravestone. She sighs.
“I am a terrible sister, Lindsey. I can’t even keep your gravestone safe.”
She puts her hand on the gravestone and cries.
Jessica is running on the sidewalk, holding her sister’s hand. She is practically dragging Lindsey behind her, as her short legs can barely keep up. Jessica looks at her watch. Three minutes left.
She sighs. She looks over at the station. The train is still waiting at the platform. They might make it. Good. The next train is only an hour later. If they miss it, Jessica won’t be able to drop off Lindsey in time for dinner. Mom would be so mad and disappointed. Jessica sighs. They only need to cross the pedestrian crossing and run up the stairs. They are going to make it.
She looks over at the traffic light at the crossing. Red. Of course, it is red. She screams internally. The train won’t wait. Fuck it. She ignores the red light and tries to cross but feels Lindsey’s hand pulling back.
“We can’t cross Jessica. The light is red.”
Jessica sighs and turns to Lindsey. “It is okay for this one time, sweetie. We really are in a hurry.”
“Ow, okay,” Lindsey exclaims. And they both run across the street. Then everything goes black.
Jessica wakes up from her dream. Her heart is pounding in her chest, and she is out of breath. She slowly counts while focusing on her breathing until she calms down.
She sighs. It is bad enough that the images of her sister’s death haunt her when she is awake, but now they also haunt her sleep. Maybe she deserves it.
Jessica looks at her alarm clock. Six o’clock. She only has to work at nine. As she will not fall asleep anymore, she might use the extra time she has to visit Lindsey’s grave before work.
She gets dressed and walks outside. The graveyard is only a short walk away. It is snowing more heavily than yesterday, and Jessica shivers.
After a short walk through heavy snowfall, Jessica spots three police cars parked in front of the graveyard. A couple of police officers are sealing off a perimeter with police tape. One police officer is talking to Paul, the gardener. She tries to walk to them. A young woman in a police uniform stops her.
“Miss, the area is sealed off. You can’t enter.”
Jessica looks past the woman. The cemetery’s gate lies on the street as a bend and twisted scrap metal. The walls and the hedge of the graveyard are destroyed as if a large truck or bulldozer ran through them.
Jessica’s heart races. “What happened.” She asks.
“Someone vandalised the graveyard. Please stand back.”
“No,” Jessica screams. “I have to see.”
She pushes the policewoman aside and runs into the cemetery. Many gravestones near the gate are pushed over, and some are cracked and crumbled. Jessica watches in terror, hoping that Lindsey’s grave is okay. Then she spots the location where her sister’s grave used to be. There is nothing there, just a gaping pit as if a bulldozer scooped out her sister’s gravestone and casket and drove off.
