ALL IN THE CARDS

Standing in the water as waves rolled in, rolled out. Sally wished she could stay there, dreaming about them, being soothed by them…

She jolted awake. Heart suddenly pounding, but not knowing why, in another part of the house she heard banging on the door, followed by “Open up, Police,” and then splintering sounds of a door busting open.

Police! What’s going on? she thought. Her stomach clenched in fear. Before she could move, two men with uniforms crashed through the door.

“Freeze!”

She threw her hands up and tried to stand. Her knees refused to cooperate, and luckily the bed was there to catch her. Her stomach kept churning. In spite of the situation, she thought, I really don’t want to throw up right now. She started to put her head between her legs when she noticed the two uniforms had lowered their guns and seemed to be deciding what to do. One of them looked vaguely familiar. He was older than her dad, with gray touches at the sideburns, and still in good shape for someone in their forties, she guessed.

He obviously recognized her, though. “Sally, isn’t it?”

She nodded, but her stomach didn’t like that.

He rushed over to her side, concerned. He turned to his partner, who couldn’t have been over thirty and said, “I’ve got this. You go help with the parents.”

Despite the nausea, Sally thought, Oh, my God! Mom! Dad! What’s going on with them? Through clenched teeth, Sally asked, “Are you arresting them? For what?” Her stomach, perched to upchuck, stayed undecided.

The deputy sheriff ignored the question and said, “Take a deep breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth.”

For some reason she didn’t quite understand, Sally did as she was told. A minute or two later, the nausea receded, and even though her heart rate wasn’t quite back to normal, she felt she could now look at the officer sitting next to her. “How do you know me?” she asked.

He didn’t seem to mind. “Well, I was assigned to teach the D.A.R.E. program last year to all the freshman students , and I remember you. I’m Deputy Shultz.”

Sally wondered what she had done that made him remember her. “Okay, but why are you being so nice to me?”

He waited a moment before answering. “I have a teenage daughter, and I hate seeing her get hurt by anything and,” he glanced around her room, taking in the bookshelves filled to the brim, clothes strewn around, and a laptop on her desk. “I guess I know that your life is about to be turned upside down, and I feel bad for you.” His smile was sad.

Suddenly, anger swept through Sally. I don’t want this man’s pity, she thought. Her heart sped up again, and the adrenaline pushed the nausea away. She sat up, fists balled up.

Deputy Shultz noticed the change. His manner changed instantly. In an entirely business-like tone, he said, “Okay, now that it looks like you’ve pulled yourself together, follow me,” and he stood up and walked to her door.

Adrenaline flowing, Sally also stood and held her head high. Without a second look, she followed Deputy Shultz out of her bedroom, thinking, I’ve got to be strong for Mom and Dad.

Before the two even reached the living room, Sally heard her dad yelling at the cops, “You have no right! I wanna see that warrant! F*$# you. I ain’t telling you guys nothing,” and heard her mom crying and saying, “Gus, shut up! Just shut up!” Sally stumbled a bit, but regained her balance as she stepped into the room. She saw that they had her dad in handcuffs and were just putting a pair on her mom

I saw Dad and he screamed, “Leave my daughter out of this! She doesn’t have a damn thing to do with this!” He looked straight at me. “Dice, remember what we talked about. You don’t have to tell them shit!”

The younger deputy sheriff that had been in her room seemed to have had a enough, and with more force than necessary, yanked her dad and pulled him out the door. She heard her dad continue to yell and curse at them until suddenly it was muffled with sound of a car door slamming and the starting of an engine.

The adrenaline now had a touch of fear in it, and Sally’s throat went so dry she wasn’t sure if she could speak if asked. She glanced over at her mom, now in handcuffs, cheeks puffy, eyes red from crying. “I’m sorry, so sorry, Sally. Please don’t hate me,” she said with a look that had both embarrassment and shame in it despite the glassiness of her eyes from the drugs.

Sally started to move towards her and felt her heart lurch. “Oh, Mom. I don’t hate you.”

Before she reached her mom, a female officer appeared and stepped between Sally and her mom. “Sorry, I’ve got to take her now.” She was short but solid. Yeah, like to be the tough bitch, don’t ya? Sally thought, surprising herself because normally she wouldn’t have thought such a mean thing. But this moment wasn’t normal.

Sally stopped. In a quick move to the left, she got around the female deputy, and locked her mom in a hug, despite the handcuffs. She felt hands pulling her away, and before her mom was dragged out, yelled, “I love you, Mom!” and felt the tears ready to unload. No, not now, later, she bargained with herself.

All the remaining officers followed the woman officer out the door. Still alert from the adrenaline rush, Sally took in the living room before her. It was in shambles. Utter and absolute shambles: overturned couch, smashed coffee table, white powder all over the blue carpet, plastic baggies strewed everywhere, a scale. Also scattered everywhere were various denominations of money; mostly were twenties, tens, fives, ones, but many were hundreds, but those were rolled up with a rubber band around them. Sally stared at those.

“Users, especially dealers, think it’s cool to snort their meth with Ben Franklins.”

Startled, Sally turned to see the younger officer who had seemed to like dragging her dad out of their house. Well, she didn’t like him. Her pulse sped up and she didn’t reply.

“Sally, isn’t that your name?” he asked.

She gave a slight nod, wishing she didn’t have to look at him. Somehow she managed to give off an irritated look with it, despite the inclination to run back to bed and hope this was all a bad dream. But she knew it wasn’t. She fought back against the part of her that just wanted to fall apart.

“Sally, how old are you?”

Sally could tell he was trying to be nice to her and wondered why it mattered. “I’m sixteen. Why?”

In a nicer voice, he answered, “Since you’re a minor, we need to figure out who can come and take care of you. Otherwise, we have to call Child Protective Services.”

On the outside, Sally remained calm, despite feeling a cold clamminess engulf her. Keep breathing, keep standing, you can do this, she told herself while she thought about the question.

Who can they call? Mom’s parents are dead. Dad’s parents are God knows where in their RV. I certainly don’t want to stay with them even if they were here. She tried again. There’s Jenna and Brianna, but I doubt their parents would take me in indefinitely.

She looked at the officer and said, “I can’t think of anyone right now.”

He seemed to realize that she was just a teenager, and helped out by asking, “Any grandparents? Aunts or uncles? Cousins older than you?”

Aunt Jasmine! Sally remembered, feeling slightly silly for forgetting about her. “No one out here, but I have an aunt in Austin, TX. Thing is, I haven’t seen her in years.” She didn’t want to tell him the reason why that was. The fact is her mother hadn’t talked to her sister in years, and had described her as “eccentric.” Sally had come to the conclusion recently that the real reason for their lack of communication had probably been more to do with her mother’s meth use.

“Is there a way we can reach her?”

Sally thought a moment, and looked at the officer standing and waiting for her to reply. He seemed a bit more friendly, but her dad’s words about not trusting cops stayed close. “There’s an address book in the kitchen drawer besides the sink. Aunt Jasmine’s number is probably in it. I can get it,” she answered, not sure that sure that her aunt would come for her. She was always nice to me, though.

He shook his head. “Why don’t you go wait outside on the porch and I’ll take care of it,” he suggested and headed towards the kitchen.

Yeah, probably worried I might tamper with evidence or something, Sally thought, though she felt her body did need to sit down.

When she stepped outside, she was momentarily blinded by the glare of the flashing lights of the two remaining cop cars. She didn’t see her dad, but saw her mom crying in the back seat of one of the vehicles, whose motor was running. Her mother looked up and saw Sally. Just then the car pulled away, and Sally heard her mom scream her name. Sally felt like her heart was ripping apart. Why? And what’s going to happen to me?

Sally started to sway and would have fallen, but she saw the lounge chair off to her right and managed to land in it.

“Are you okay?” It was Deputy Shultz, who had appeared out of nowhere it seemed.

Sally looked up at him from the chair. The adrenaline had been replaced with a tiredness that sleep wasn’t going to fix, but she managed to go for humor. “Sure, I’m okay. Anyone one would be okay seeing their parents dragged out through the door. Anyone would be okay knowing they will probably go to jail for God knows how long, and yeah, I’m okay not knowing what the hell is going to happen to me now. I’m okay,” she finished.

He was spared having to respond to that because at that moment the younger deputy came out. He looked at Deputy Shultz and said, “I called the aunt in Austin, and she says she can be here tomorrow.”

Wow! After all these years, she’s really coming out here? I can’t believe she’s doing this for me, Sally thought.

Deputy Shultz said, “Well, that’s good, but what do we do about tonight?”

“You want me to call CPS?” the other officer asked.

“Maybe I can help with that,” a voice from the lawn said.

They all turned to see Sally’s neighbor Annie, who somehow had walked right up to the porch with no one seeing her. She was dressed in her customary hot pink warm up suit with white tennis shoes. Sally felt a spark of hope that maybe this night would get at least a little better.

Deputy Shultz asked, “And you are…?”

“Annie Smith. I live next door, and I used to be a foster parent as well. Perhaps Sally could stay with me the night.” Sally noticed that Annie was being ultra- polite, but there was a steely tone to her voice that implied that Sally coming to her house was the best solution.

Deputy Shultz gave her a hard look, as if sizing her up. “Let me talk with Deputy McNeil here, and we’ll be right back.” They walked down the porch stairs and across the lawn where they wouldn’t be overheard.

Annie turned to Sally, and gave her a compassionate look. “Oh, Sally, I’m so sorry this has happened to you,” and reached over to give Sally a hug.

Please don’t be nice right now, Sally thought. I’ll completely lose it if she’s too nice.

She felt herself stiffen even though she knew Annie was just trying to help.

If Annie noticed, she didn’t seem to take it personally. She stood up and patted Sally on the shoulder and then sat down in another chair. “I was sleeping and heard all this racket and came outside just as they put your mom in the squad car.”

Sally glanced around and said, “Actually, I’m glad you’re the only out here.” If she had to go somewhere tonight, Annie’s seemed the best choice, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up too much.

“Have they called your grandparents?” Annie asked. Then, in a lower voice, she said, “I knew what was going on, Sally, and I just didn’t know what to do. I was about ready to call them real soon. One, I was worried about your safety, and two, God knows what chemicals you were exposed to.”

For a split second, Sally felt anger flash through her ready to defend her parents. But then she thought, I know she’s only trying to help, and she’s offering to help me. Sally took a deep breath, and managed to say, “It hasn’t been great, but I’ve managed,” thinking how she had been taking care of everything she needed for the last two years.

Annie didn’t push, and Sally was grateful.

Just then, Deputies Shultz and McNeil returned.

Deputy Shultz addressed Annie. “Are you sure you don’t mind letting Sally stay with you?”

“Not at all. Sally’s been a great help to me. She fed my dogs when I went on vacation last year,” Annie answered.

Sally felt a little bit more hope. Please say yes, please say yes, she was thinking.

Sally watched as Deputy Shultz thought a moment longer and then said to Sally, “Looks like you’re going to stay with Mrs. Smith tonight.”

A wave of relief washed over Sally. “Oh, thank you,” she replied. Then she realized that she was in her gown. “Deputy Shultz, Can I get a change of clothes? I’ll need something to wear for tomorrow.”

He nodded and said, “Let’s go.” He led Sally back to her room and stood at the door. Sally went in and glanced around the room. Will I ever sleep in this room again? I really liked it. At her dresser she pulled out socks and underwear. Carrying those, she reached inside her closet and grabbed a purple T-shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans and stuffed all of it in her backpack. Slipping on her tennis shoes, she realized, This is all I get to take? This is what it’s come to? This is Mom and Dad’s fault! Freaking meth! And felt her heart in her throat, fighting tears once more. She took as deep a breath as she was able and turned to the deputy and said, “Okay, I’m finished.

Outside, Annie was waiting for them. “Thank you, Deputy Shultz,” she said. “I’ll take good care of Sally until her aunt arrives.” Sally joined her.

Only one patrol car remained, and Sally saw Deputy McNeil leaning against it. He kept looking at his watch impatiently and then at Shultz. Shultz held up his hand, indicating he needed five more minutes, and then spoke to Sally. “Go on with Mrs. Smith,” he said, and then adding with genuine sympathy in his voice, “I’m really sorry about your parents. You seem like a good kid, and I hope things work out for you.”

Sally could see he was trying to be nice, but she felt her defenses go up. Why is he suddenly being nice to me? she wondered. In response, she politely said, “I hope so too, and thanks again for letting me stay at Annie’s.”

He hesitated a moment.

Ah, here it comes, she thought.

He then said, “My partner and I have to stay and search the rest of the house. Then we’ll seal it.” He gave Sally a pointed look. “Do you have any idea where we should look?

Really? You think I’d rat my parents out? Even though Sally still felt a bit dazed from the night’s events, she was alert to know not to tell the authorities anything. The least I can do is try to help Mom and Dad out. Sally looked at the ground and shook her head no. Not wanting to lie straight to his face, she glanced back up and stared at his shield. “I tried not to pay attention to what they were doing. And they were always so paranoid, they didn’t tell me anything, so no.”

Annie broke in. “Deputy Shultz, hasn’t she been through enough for one night?”

Thank you, Annie! Sally shot her a grateful look, and Annie managed a quick smile in reassurance. She knew he wasn’t satisfied with her answers, but seemed to let it go, at least for the moment.

“Mrs. Smith, I agree. I had to ask though.” He kept looking at Sally as if he knew that she wasn’t telling him something, but he didn’t ask any more questions.

Like I would tell you anything, she thought. Suddenly, she felt exhausted.

Annie stepped closer and put her arm around her. “May we go now?”

Deputy Shultz nodded and added, “Yes, but when Sally’s aunt gets here, we might need to question Sally again with her aunt present. She might need to look at some photos. Maybe she can identify the people who supplied her parents.” He turned as if dismissing them and motioned Deputy McNeil to come on up to the house.

Sally closed her eyes and leaned toward Annie. Like I would tell you anything even if I knew something, she thought. She didn’t want to hear anymore. She wished tonight was just a bad dream, but she knew better.

Beside her Annie said in a gentle voice, “Let’s get you into bed. I bet you need some sleep,” and guided her towards the house across the street.

Sleep? I don’t think so, Sally thought, but said nothing. She was just grateful to have a place to sleep for the night.