I Choose Everything

“Wake up! We’re closed.” a gruff voice grumbled.

My eyes fluttered open and a blinding light caused me to shut them again, “What?” I asked groggily.

“Get out, we’re closed. Go home.” the voice grumbled again.

Slowly I opened my eyes and was greeted by a tall man dressed in a café uniform. It was then that I realized I must’ve fallen asleep while studying in the café. “Uh, sorry.” I mumbled as I tried to inconspicuously wipe any drool from my nap off my face.

“Whatever. Please just grab your stuff and go. We’re closed and want to go home.” the worker huffed as he stared expectantly.

“Uh right. Sorry again.” I replied meekly and felt heat creeping up into my cheeks as he continued to stare at me until I packed my last notebook. “Well um I’ll be going now. Sorry again.” I stuttered and scurried toward the exit. I heard him sneer “Have a nice night” as the door shut behind me. Immediately I felt cold, wet droplets hit my face. Shit why does it have to be raining? I don’t even have my umbrella… Well at least I’m still under the awning. I turned to look back at the café and the lights flickered off. Damn. I guess I’ll use my backpack as an umbrella tonight. Facing away from the door I looked into the rain. Gosh it’s pouring. I can barely see in front of me. Why did I have to fall asleep in the café? I lifted my backpack above my head. “If I just stand here I’ll only get more wet and probably get sick. I better just hurry and get home.” I muttered to myself. Stepping into the cold rain I could tell my backpack wasn’t really shielding me from much. “Oh well. This sucks.” I grumbled.

The rhythmic sound of rain hitting the ground, quickly turned into white noise as I walked to my apartment. Not a soul in sight. Everyone else probably had the common sense to get home before the rain. The street lamps were the only things keeping me company. Suddenly, I felt an arm wrap around my waist and another cover my mouth as I was yanked into an alley. What the fuck?! What’s happening?

“Be nice, still, and quiet and nothing will happen to ya. You got that girly?” a voice sneered in my ear. Who the fuck is this? What do the fuck could they want? I yanked myself away but only the hand on my mouth moved. A sharp pain exploded in my head. “Listen bitch! I told you to be still and nothing will happen to ya. But look what ya made me do. If ya didn’t try to get away I wouldn’t of had to hit ya. Now quit moving and stay quiet or else.” the voice snapped. The world was spinning and the words barely registered. “Give me your backpack, phone, and wallet and I’ll let ya go.”

“What? I don’t understand.” I groaned as a wave of nausea hit me like a brick.

“You stupid bitch! Give me your backpack, phone, and wallet now or else!” the voice roared.

I shook my head no. Ohhh fuck… my head. , “That’s my stuff. I can’t give it to you.” my speech was slurred and my eyesight was fuzzy. Wait, am I getting robbed? If the world would stop spinning maybe I could tell.

“You asked for it ya stupid bitch.” the voice sneered again as a burning pain erupted in my side causing me to fall to the ground and the person to let go of me. Breathe. I struggled to take a breath. The burning pain wasn’t subsiding. Fuck am I on fire? No, no I can’t be the rain…it’s raining too hard. Fucking make the pain stop! “This is your fault, girly.” the voice grumbled. Another sharp pain erupted in my stomach as my body jolted and hit the brick wall behind me. I felt acid burning at the back of my throat as if I were about to puke and again I couldn’t breathe. Fuck! Did the fucker kick me? It hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. Help me, someone. Footsteps receded. Is the fucker leaving?

“What’s my fault?” I groaned but with each breath a sharp stabbing pain shot up my side. No one but the pounding rain answered me. Slowly I reached my hand down towards the stabbing, burning sensation. I was greeted with something cold and smooth. Gently I wrapped my fingers around the mysterious object and pulled it towards my face. The burning sensation worsened causing me to let out a small scream. In my hand I saw a knife covered in blood. I dropped it. Who was bleeding? Was it the voice from before? Is that why they left so quickly? Serves the fucker right. I put my hand back to the burning pain. It was wet and warm unlike the rain. Once again I brought my hand to my face. Blood. My hand was covered in blood. Not just any blood but my blood. Did the fucker stab me? They stabbed me and stole my stuff? Fuck why me?? Why the fuck did it have to be me??? “Help… please anyone.” I called out. It felt like I was screaming but I think it only came out as a whisper. No one’s going to hear me in this fucking rain. Fuck me is this how I die?

With one hand I put as much pressure on my wound as I could. Fuck I’m gonna die. I know there’s barely any pressure on the fucking hole in my side but what the fuck else can I do. With the other I slowly pulled myself up against the alley wall. FUCKKK this hurts. Oh my fuck it hurts. This can’t be it. I’m only 23. I’m still in college. I have to get help. My knees buckled and I fell back down on the cold, hard cement. MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck me that hurt. Even slower I pulled myself up against the alley’s wall and leaned against it. I have to fucking do this. Fuck where’s the adrenaline rush I’m supposed to be feeling right now. This is fucking bullshit. Bit by bit I dragged myself towards the alley’s entrance. I probably look fucking ridiculous right now. And I’m probably in shock. Pain shot through my side with every step. Fuck it hurts. I need the pain to just go away.

It felt like hours had gone by but it had probably only been minutes but the entrance was right in front of me now. One more step and I’ll be out of this fucking alley. Just one more. Wait, when did the ground get so close? Fuck, am I falling? Slamming into the ground a new wave of pain washed over me. The cold concrete bit into my skin. I guess this is it. Looking around I saw nothing but the rain and alley. Fuck me. My vision is going dark. I just want to fucking live.

***

“Please wake up, Phade.” a soft voice whispered next to me. Who is that? And what’s a phade? Slowly I opened my eyes. Through my bleary vision I could see a woman next to me. All I could make out in the dim light was the silhouette of her kneeling by my bedside. Who is this woman? And where the fuck am I?

“Um excuse me, where am I and who are you?” I asked hoarsely.

The woman’s head snapped so quickly I thought it might’ve broken. “Phade! You’re awake!” the woman shouted gleefully while throwing her arms around me.

I tensed at the strange woman holding me. “Um, I’m sorry. Who are you? What’s going on?” I questioned.

She pulled back and stared at me. The woman had long, curly brown hair, eyes the color of jade, and a soft sad smile. It took me a second to realize the woman had silent tears streaming down her face. “Phade? You don’t recognize me? It’s your mother. You’ve been sick so long the physician told us you’d never wake.” her voice quivered slightly near the end of her reply.

“Phade? My mother?” I grasped my head as sharp pains ripped through me. What the fuck is going on?

“Sweet girl, you’ve been asleep for some time now. I understand that you’re confused. Let me get your father to call for the physician to check over you.” the woman stated as she squeezed my hand in what I assume was reassurance.

I’ve been asleep? My father? I don’t even speak to my parents anymore. What the hell is going on? I watched as the woman stood, gave me a small smile and left the room shutting the door behind her. A small sigh escaped me. Tentatively I took in my surroundings. The walls were bare and seemed to be made of brick, the only other furniture besides the bed I laid in were a small wooden desk and wardrobe. What the fuck is this place? There aren’t any brick houses near my apartment? Just where am I?

Suddenly the door swung open again and a small squeak of surprise escaped me. The woman entered the room but she was accompanied by a man. The man was tall, broad shouldered, probably 6 feet, with fiery red hair, a big nose, warm eyes the color of chocolate, and he seemed to hesitate. However, when he saw me his uncertainty melted away.

“You’re really awake! Your mum wasn’t just dreamin’ again.” he responded in both a tone of bewilderment and joy while a huge smile broke out on his face. “Our precious little girl! Annet,” he turned to the woman, “I’m taking the horse to get the physician. I’ll be back as quick as I can.” He turned back and walked to my side. Looking at him I realized I didn’t feel scared but he almost seemed familiar. Leaning down he kissed me on top of the head. “I promise sweet girl I’ll be right back. We’re so happy you’re finally awake.” Shocked, I kind of just sat there. Who are these people? Well I guess the woman’s name is Annet but still she’s a stranger. What the hell is going on? Why are they treating me like a child? The man left as quickly as he came and I was alone in the room with the woman again.

“Oh! I can’t believe you’re awake. Thank the Goddess!” the woman or Annet gushed.

“Umm…can you please answer my questions? What is going on? Who are you people? And where the fuck am I?” my voice barely above a whisper as it was still dry.

“Oh dear. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that curse word young lady. Now let me fetch you some water darling so I can understand you.” Annet scurried out of the room and returned quickly with a pitcher and cup in her hands. Gingerly she lifted the drink to my lips. As the cool liquid slid down my throat I could feel how soothing it truly was.

“Thank you.” I mumbled.

“Of course honey! Now what was it you were trying to say?”

“Oh well um…what’s going on? Who are you people? Where am I?” I repeated while meeting Annet’s gaze.

Her smile fell and her eyes once again looked sad. “You don’t remember?”

“Remember what?”

“Phade, you’ve been asleep for over a year. Your father and I have had the village’s physician and healer come to check on you once a week. They weren’t sure if you’d ever wake up.” she began to explain.

“Why do you keep calling me Phade? I don’t even know you. You’re not my parents. I haven’t spoken to them in years. What is going on?! Where am I?!” I felt panic spreading as my voice grew shrill with each question.

Annet’s face grew pale, “Please Phade, please calm down. I know you’re confused. Let’s wait for the physician. They’ll be here soon with your father and maybe they’ll be able to explain this better. As to where you are, you’re home of course and we’re in your room.” she pleaded a bit but I noticed her tone level when she spoke of the physician.

“My room? The physician?” I felt a sinking pit in my stomach. “Can I have a mirror?”

A small smile appeared on Annet’s face, “Of course. Just give me a moment, Phade.” She disappeared from the room once again. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What’s going on? My parents? A physician? Are these people crazy? A stabbing pain ripped through my head destroying my train of thought. “Here we are!” Annet beamed while brandishing a beautiful silver hand mirror. It looked historical like something you’d see in a medieval drama but brand new.

Slowly I lifted it to my face. When I saw the reflection I nearly dropped the mirror. Staring back at me was a young girl no older than a kid in elementary school, maybe 8 or 9. She had long, curly hair like Annet but it was fiery red like the man from earlier, Annet’s green eyes but a different hue darker maybe, and pale skin that looked like it hadn’t gotten sun in quite some time. I touched my face and the girl in the reflection copied me. Is that me? What the fuck happened? Why am I a child? Where am I? Is this like those books I read in middle school? Well at least she didn’t get her dad’s nose. What the fuck am I thinking?! What the hell am I gonna do?

“Phade honey are you alright? You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Is that my name? Phade? How old am I?” I asked turning to Annet.

“Yes? Do you truly remember nothing?” I shook my head and Annet sighed disappointedly. “Alright. Well, yes, your name is Phade Rokalyn. I’m your mother Annet Rokalyn and your father’s name is Ferrant Rokalyn. Your father and I call you Phay or Fae because you’re our little fairy. Today’s your ninth birthday. You’ve been asleep for over a year. The village physician and healer couldn’t figure out what was wrong. They were sure you’d never wake up but your father and I kept praying to the Goddess and here you are awake. Now hopefully the physician and healer can figure out what--”

Annet was abruptly cut off as the man, Ferrant or my father, came in with two others in tow. The first was tall, with long, black hair worn neatly in a ponytail, brown eyes like my “father”, and they looked both feminine and masculine in the long white robe they wore. The second was much shorter than the first. They seemed to be 5 feet tall, their blonde hair also in a ponytail, blue eyes like the sky, and a bright smile. However instead of wearing a robe like the first they wore an outfit that reminded me of fantasy games with an entirely black outfit except for a mid length white cloak.

“See I told you! She’s actually awake this time!” Ferrant’s voice boomed happily. Both the newcomers looked bewildered.

“How and when did this happen?” the black haired figure asked in a silvery voice like a bell.

“Not too long ago. I don’t know how it happened. I was visiting as usual and suddenly she was awake. I sent Ferrant to get you immediately.” Annet answered.

The blonde stepped forward and knelt by my side. “Quite mysterious indeed.” Their voice was different from the other stranger. Instead they talked with a thick southern accent.

“What do you think, Healer Dimia?” Ferrant questioned the short, blonde.

“I have one thought but first, Addy what do you think?” Dimia turned to the black haired stranger.

“I think I may have the same thought as you.” the tall stranger replied.

“Come now. Spit it out, Physician Addale and Healer Dimia.” Ferrant demanded.

“We believe your daughter’s been cursed.” They responded together.

“WHAT?!” both Annet, Ferrant, and I shouted. The fuck you mean CURSED?!