What is your opinion?
Good Story
"As a sports fan myself, I love the concept and story. I'd recommend starting by going back and maybe with a few friends to proofread. I liked how you described things the most time but would love if we got more of the character's backstories and what makes them different from each other. Also personally, I'd recommend using swear words and "ain't" a little less because they distract sometimes from the actual story"
A Rising Star?
"This is a nice story concept the beginning was excellent in bringing in the reader. However, it feels a bit disjointed as it goes on. You have quotation marks to give off dialogue, but then you switch to using colons. I’m not sure what you were going for there but you should pick one over the other. Try to get a little deeper with the writing style and strike a balance between detail and dialogue. Basketball can be a very exciting and tense sport, try to experiment with using quotation marks to emulate dialogue and be creative with what the characters are doing and how the game is being played. You story is really good but if you play with it a bit more, it can be a really good and nerve tingling adventure. I look forward to seeing how you do in the future."
Interesting!
"I just got finished reading the trailer, and it definitely kept me engaged. Your use of language and writing style let it seem like someone was announcing play by play what Miles was doing...just like a game. There were some errors, but they can easily be fixed. Can't wait to see where this goes. :) **NOTES FOR THE AUTHOR BELOW."
A good start
"Before you read any further, remember that this is just my opinion. I felt the story was a bit disjointed. I think it may be because of the lack of punctuation. I know that some people write in a different style for electronic texts, but for me, the use of punctuation makes it much easier to follow. I write in Microsoft Word. It helps with the grammar and misspelled words. I also get that you are writing how people actually speak, rather than how we usually read, which can be very different at times. I do the same thing. I hear the dialogue in my mind, and try to write it the way it sounds. However, I think we also have to be mindful of how the text flows. I think with some tweaking in places, you may be surprised at how the story starts to come together. If I may suggest: try reading the story out loud to yourself. Speak every word aloud, just as it is written, and see how it sounds to your ears. I feel that there is potential here, and now, I want to know what happened in grammar school!"
