Ch 1 Newborns
Newborns
"Darkness envelops me completely. My thoughts are a tangled mess. My head feels tight, spinning in a whirlwind of disorientation. Something isn't right! An intense, almost searing pain radiates throughout my body. What is this sensation? Where am I? Why do I feel so confined?"
My mind is filled with a multitude of questions, all hanging in the air without answers. Suddenly, a brilliant light breaks through the darkness, providing a flicker of hope. At last, something strange yet disquieting emerges on the horizon. The previously impenetrable black walls begin to change, transforming from deep shadows into a comforting orange-red glow. The oxygen in my lungs begins to burn. I'm panicking with confusion as to why I don't feel safe no longer.
I attempt to open my eyes, but my eyelids feel stuck tight. Just one more thing to add to my anxiety. I am afraid of what is to come. One minute I'm safe inside my warm cocoon, then the next thing I'm being evicted into bitter darkness. A wave of panic washes over me once again, as I struggle within the liquid sac. Despite my lack of vision, I notice a shift in colorful shadows around me. Suddenly, a warm flow of fluid envelops me, propelling my body towards the light.
My lungs feel as if they're ablaze! What is going on? I'm not comfortable with this shift. The tidal wave paused briefly, but after five minutes, another wave surged forth, propelling me deeper into the intensifying light. With every rush I pleaded for it to stop, I wanted rest again.
The walls around me close in like a vice, tightening around my powerless limbs. With each moment, the pressure intensifies as the light looms nearer. The air feels thin, almost non-existent, and I find myself gasping for breath, as if I’m fighting for my very existence. What once brought me comfort now only brings pain and turmoil. I feel terrified and utterly alone. My body is weighed down, suffocated, and restricted. I just want this to be over! "Please, God, grant me peace!"
With my last plea a sudden final rush of liquid and the tight tunnel squeezed me forward. My cries were finally heard. My head emerged into an open space, but my body remained trapped in the constricted tunnel. Moments ticked by when I felt another surge of warm fluid filling the space behind me. An odd feeling enveloped me, as if I were plummeting. Even though I had no true experience of what falling felt like, there was an instinctive awareness within me that I was indeed doing so. Just before I could process it further, my back collided with something large and soft. I couldn't see it, as my eyes were tightly shut. I came to the realization that I was still battling within the empty space, I’ve been confined to for the past nine months, desperately seeking a breath of fresh air. What had once been a vast, open-air sac now felt vacant and smooth against my skin as I struggled to escape. An inner voice encouraged me to keep fighting and to persist. I gave it my all, discovering that I was more capable of tackling new challenges than I had ever realized. The struggle boosted my confidence and fueled my determination to move ahead.
Out of nowhere, an unsettling force yanked at me from beyond the sac-like tomb. It begun to claw and gnaw its way inside. Unsure of what it was, a new surge of terror engulfed me, sparking a renewed sense of panic. My limbs thrashed more violently, and an unfamiliar sound erupted from my throat—a mix between a mewling and a desperate scream. I raised the volume, as if to warn whatever was intruding to back off or face the consequences. I had no idea what those consequences might be, but I felt it was worth a shot. What other choice do I have but to fight for my life in countless ways? I’ve come too far to simply give up and let everything end.
Whatever was attempting to get inside had finally achieved its goal. My temporary home began to unfurl, and a wave of cool air surged in, stinging my nostrils as it descended into my lungs. This was yet another new experience to add to my collection. Suddenly, I felt a warm, yet firm nuzzle against my head. Following after with a rough, tickling sensation, that began to sweep over my entire body repeatedly. It wasn’t painful, and it no longer scared me. Instead, it brought me a sense of comfort. Its rhythmic nature made me want to endure it for even longer.
Fear had faded into a distant memory. Now the overwhelming sense of comfort washed away the lingering anxiety. I had not yet gathered enough wisdom to understand or know what anything was or how it worked. Whatever was tickling me with goodness, it was now wrapping around me like a warm embrace, tending to my needs. I must have made many, because the comforting feeling would start and stop with its former task.
Now I was breathing easily; my lungs no longer ached—at least, I thought they didn’t. Each deep breath I took felt refreshing and crisp as I inhaled. A blend of fragrances flooded my senses, delighting my nose with their enchanting combination. What marvelous and captivating things was my body absorbing? A fresh start that a newborn could explore and learn from.
These specific scents; some soothing, while others were utterly repulsive causing my nose to turn up. Returning for the third time, the strange tickling sensation enveloped me, slowly making its way down from the top of my head towards my vulnerable body. It's touch this time had a remarkable ability to bring a calmness and drowsiness simultaneously. In my new form of exhaustion, I gave in, lying there entirely at its mercy. There was a strange charm to it. I found myself under its influence, unable to move, think, or resist. This touch was growing familiar and essential to even the point I sought after it.
My previously cold and soggy body was now warm and dry. I was feeling joyous, allowing my mind to unwind. My thoughts began to fade into a dreamy state. I yielded to its gentle allure. I would rather choose this over the previous pain any day. Through my eyelids I noticed the bright hues around me fading into darkness, but it felt different now. It was adorned with shimmering white orbs, punctuated by flashes of purple and neon blue lightning flashes. These vivid streaks occasionally flickered across my inner third eye as I sank deeper into the abyss.
Everything was visually inviting. Forming a very interesting and exciting show in my mind. Soon something new started to fade into my senses. An unfamiliar sound gradually intensified inside my ears. I strained to decipher its jumbled utterances. What language was being spoken? Who was the voice behind it? Once again, I was left with more questions than answers. Eventually, the sound became distinct and unmistakable. I started to comprehend its words. I had never known this voice in my earthly form, but yet the sound was surprisingly familiar. Over and over in my thoughts I searched to recognize who or what it was or could have been.
Without warning, the words announced itself directly: “Greetings, creation. Do not be afraid,” a deep, comforting voice said.
I couldn’t identify the source of where the noise was coming from, yet my mind echoed with what seemed like one of friendly origins. Curiosity sparked within me as I questioned, “Who are you? Why do you encourage me not to be afraid?”
The voice promptly replied to my inquiry, providing the clarity I was looking for. “I only urge you to stay calm, as I can tell, that I surprised you. I'm sorry Little one, I am the one whom you summoned when you entered into this world. Do you not remember me? I want you to know that I mean you no harm, so there’s no need to be afraid, if I ever visit you again in the future. Although, you may not recall me right now, we had a close bond before you were born into this life. Just like I had with others before you, who you will meet soon. In your spirit form I presented to you with an important mission, and I left the choice in your hands, whether to descend to Earth and experience all that this new world had in store for you, or to remain in my heavenly domain. Can you guess what you decided?” he chuckled softly, his voice resonating deeply.
It was apparent what decision I had made. I already knew the answer to his question; it was undeniable. My choice had led me to this exact point. Though I had many more questions to ask, some of them began to align and make sense. I wanted to learn as much as the voice would allow me to acquire. I was curious to hear what it would say next.
"Could you please, tell me what I am in this earthly form? If you say I was once a spirit what is this that I am in now? If I am not a spirit, then what?" I inquired with courage.
I could hear a smile in its voice as it responded, "You're right, you are no longer a spirit form that belongs to me, that rests easily in my domain. You are a soul within an earthen vessel. You are a prince, known in a lion cub form. A lion is a kind of animal in the feline species. A beast as some may say. I chose for you to experience this life as an animal during your brief time here. Many others I mentioned, I gave the same choice, only they selected differently. I imagined how magnificent your life would be while you visited, as a feared, powerful, and majestic creature among all living beings. Humans will admire your grandeur, while prey animals will tremble in your presence, and your own kind will understand your strength and respect you. I understand you might have more questions, but for the moment, I must take my leave. Remember, I will always be watching over you, dear one. If you ever need me, I’m never too far away. Just call out, for I am your Elohim,” he said with deep affection.
He was right. I was curious to know more about this "Elohim", the voice without a face. Just as I was about to ask another question, He faded into the distance, slipping away in an instant. The enchanting darkness around me, began to morph back into a glowing orange-red glow behind my eyelids. I lay motionless back on the warm body, nestled against the being I believed to be like myself, a lion. In that fleeting moment, I felt content with my brief experience. Comfortably resting, I savored the stillness for just a heartbeat. But soon, a fresh new feeling began to wash over me, deep down, I instinctively recognized what it was. It gnawed at my innards, releasing a rumble that sent painful waves within. " How odd", I thought. I had never had to worry about this inside my spirit form, but now as a lion creature I emerged from, it was washing over me. There was only one explanation for this sudden rush and that was, that I WAS HUNGRY!
