Chapter 1
Neil, it’s about time you took time and admitted to yourself and others that I am a driving factor in your overall success.
It’s a bit frustrating to think that after all these years, I’m still tied to this asshole. He can take credit for my greatest success; my growth as a person; and, most notably, celebrity. That’s the life of an investigator when chasing someone as prominent as Cappelano. You will always be tied to him, especially if you let the asshole live. I know I should have killed him back then, that day in Mexico, I was so close. I pulled that trigger back, was ready to shoot him, put a bullet in his head, but the gun jammed. I guess it’s what you get for buying your gun in Mexico from a liquor store.
“Neil, I understand why you come here, but it’s getting tiresome. You come here, we talk, and I go back to my room.”
“It’s not like you have anything better to do. Do you have some license plates to stamp? Maybe you can make me one for my new ride. I finally upgraded.”
“Your wit, though tiresome, is getting better. All these visits must be improving something.”
I have visited Frank in the past, continued some form of a relationship with him. In the beginning, I had some semblance of hatred. Then I realized it was my issue with the weight of it all. I was struggling with the fact that he was just as much of a celebrity as I was. I mean, I’m the good guy. Why is the bad guy just as popular as the guy that got him caught? Then I remember, there is no need for Batman without Robin. That’s when I started to look into him more—spend more time looking into our relationship; what he saw in me, what he was doing to me, with me, and how he saw me. I started going to him, interviewing him, and talking to him in depth about our past. About the interactions we had, the crimes he had committed, and what he had done. Why he did them, his reasoning, his motivation behind them.
“I guess you could say that being aware of your craziness, as well as your impact in my life, and merely accepting it’s there, not ignoring it anymore, have helped me.”
“Neil, it’s about time you took time and admitted to yourself and others that I am a driving factor in your overall success.”
His ego is consuming him, but there is nothing I can do at this point. I’m intrigued by him, but the transition from when I met him back in the nineties as a fresh recruit, and he was a top- tier agent, messed me up. He can explain away his behavior to extreme levels, it’s Olympic-level shit. I must deal with it. I internalize and overthink everything, which is great as an investigator, but it’s brutal to live inside your own thoughts.
“Frank, you believe I wipe my ass because you willed it. Your ego is insane. I enjoy our talks and feel that I am growing and learning. Overall, we at the bureau are gaining knowledge from you. However, I think your ego is consuming yourself three times over.”
“Neil, there you go again, pushing things to the extreme. We were having a perfectly good conversation, and you had to get testy about it.”
“I can see our conversation today is going to be a rough one. When you are feeling self-righteous, I might as well call it a day. There is no point in talking to you because you are going to bring everything back to some lesson you taught me.”
“But I did teach you so much, Neil. You don’t give me nearly enough credit.”
“I’m not sure what you expect of me, what you plan on having me do with this conversation. I came here to talk to you about a specific case we worked together back in the day, a case we cracked together before you disappeared. You know, before you killed your family member who learned too much about you.”
“Please don’t remind me of all the things I have done. That is the only one that I have regretted, the only one I feel I had no justice in, I feel vindicated, that I deserve to be back here merely for that one murder. All the others I feel were deserving.”
“Frank, the problem is you don’t see the parents you destroyed, the spouses whose lives you condemned because of your actions.”
“Why don’t you enlighten me as to something I don’t seem to understand, give me some insight into this path of destruction I created?”
“Okay, I can do that. Tell you what, when I come back, we’ll sit down, and I’ll map it out for you. You have to get back to doing your life sentence, and I have to get back to the office. We have some items to review for a big case we’re working on.”
“Did you guys finally get called in on that missing girl case?”
“Yes. I only wish they would have done it sooner. Now we’re behind the ball, but we have a good team working on it. I’m just supervising, working from the office, not doing any fieldwork on this one.”
“Look at Neil moving up in his own company. I wasn’t sure you had it in you.”
“You wore me out, and this last case that didn’t seem to have an end or a point wore me out too.”
“Have a great day, Neil.”
I just turned around and walked away, not sure why I didn’t say good-bye. I knew it was odd, but I’ve been doing that lately. I think it’s because I want to keep some semblance of distance despite my curiosity. That’s what is driving me to keep coming back. Trying to understand the mind of a psychopath isn’t easy; it’s what led Cappelano down this path of destruction in the first place.
I can’t believe it has been more than ten years since Cappelano and I met and since this whole dance started. It’s about to be the new year, and the Detroit winter is the usual mix of wet, temps in the cool twenties, and dirty black air. You’re reminded of how dirty it is quickly after it snows.Within a day, all the white snow alongside the roads are as black as the smog-filled air. I know people are trying to make a difference, but it’s hard to see with this crap all over. Pulling into the office, I noticed Ken was standing there talking to Christian. He is one of our leads and we are helping a joint investigation with local and federal employees.
“Hey Neil, Christian and I were going over the Monroe case. How was everything this morning at your Tuesday chat?”
“The usual. I think he is finally ready to start digging into the shit with more detail. I want to know what is going on, how he saw me, saw his victims, and what his purpose was, not just to use going forward, but also out of curiosity, I guess.”
“Be careful, Neil. You know the adage stare at the fire long enough and you can fall in.”
“Thanks, Ken, I’ll keep that in mind. I think I have so much disdain and hatred for him that it will keep me far back enough.”
“Neil, you’ve been burned so many times you’re a little afraid of the fire.” Ken has a good point.
“Exactly. How about we go into the conference room? It looks like you have a command center of sorts set up, and you guys give me the rundown.”
Ken, Christian, and I made our way across the warehouse to the conference room, where they had set everything that pertains to the case.The case involves Erin Beddington, an activist in the community. She worked with a local newspaper while protesting Gaines Chemical, in Detroit. They had just gotten a big contract that was a bit dirty. Erin brought it to light, got lots of press, and got the contract scrapped. It cost Gaines Chemical millions, then suddenly, she’s missing.The local authorities figured it wouldn’t be hard to track her down. It’s not the first time she went into hiding after causing a stir. They sat on the case. Then the feds were brought in when evidence was found linking her to another plant in Ohio and perhaps Canada.
After six weeks of hitting dead ends and chasing a ghost, the bureau reached out to my team and me. They knew with all the potential roadblocks going into and out of the country, and even if it is Canada, that it would be simpler for us to go over and investigate the simple stuff. We put Christian as lead with Nicolette and a few others. They have already made some headway and that’s what this meeting is about.
“Christian, since this is your case, why don’t you give me the rundown of what you have found so far.”
“From what we can tell after looking at the history of Erin’s protests, it looks like she has a partner or a copycat. We’re almost certain the other protests in Ohio aren’t her, and definitely not the one in Canada. Her passport was never flagged going into Canada, and chances of her using an alias for the first time are slim. She has traveled plenty in the past.”
“Do you have any theories yet, anything you think it might be?”
“We’re thinking someone might be trying to set her up, get this turned into a federal case to bring her down. She’s always been careful in the past to minimize risk and get maximum exposure to the cause.”
“Ever think maybe something happened, maybe someone killed her, then decided to keep the ghost of Erin alive to throw everyone off the trail?”
“No, we haven’t gone that far down the rabbit hole. Then again your instincts, even if crazy sometimes, are usually on the money. I’ll put some people on it just to cover our bases.”
“Smart man, Christian. Keep me in the loop with emails and summaries. No need to give me updates on everything, but a nightly email from someone on the team would be nice, even if brief.”
“I can do that, no problem. What are you going to be doing? This is a big case; I assumed you’d be all over it.”
“I’m going to be tied up the next week or so putting together a case file on Cappelano for myself and the bureau. Trying to close out the Veritas case. I know it was years ago, but the bureau wants a complete psych eval et cetera.”
“I won’t let you down, boss, especially after what we went through in Warsaw. I’ve learned so much about patience, working through the puzzle, and seeing the whole field. Most importantly, I’ve learned that every case is going to test me, and I need to be open to what it’s saying.”
“There ya go, Christian; Neil couldn’t have said it better himself,” Ken chimed in.
“All right, guys, I’m going to head out of here and go home. I need to get some stuff done before I head back out to the prison to sit down with Cappelano for a full-day session.”
I made my way out of the warehouse toward my house. I was taken back over the past couple of years, from finally catching Cappelano to the crazy tour all over Poland. The explosion did cause some issues that caused us to be held up at the US embassy for a few days while they looked into the event. Luckily there were a few cameras in the area, meaning none of them caught Christian and his sniper rifle. They assumed it was a gas fire from an old kitchen fire.
You may be asking yourself why I am still intrigued with Cappelano, why I amgoing to put myself through his mind games, the mental torture. It’s simple: knowledge. I can grow more by seeing the view of myself from a psycho such as Frank. Even if it’s distorted, I just need to make sure I adjust for that level of craziness when I’m reviewing the case notes. If you’re wondering if I ever did make up with Maria, the answer is sort of. We are still great friends, we’re great when working together, but she needed more than I can ever give her in a relationship. She actually has an amazing fiancé and they are good together. Sheila and I are still in our usual on-and-off place, and Carol Lynn is growing up too fast, but that’s life. I’m fairly sure my daughter grew up by ten years when I went overseas, or maybe I just finally noticed it.
Back home, pulling into the garage, the girls started going crazy. They are getting a little bit older, though, so their crazy is more controlled than it used to be. As for me, it’s time to pour a drink and sit in my chair in the front room study. On good nights, my first hour of sleep is in that chair—passing out, if you may—but it’s the best sleep there is, that quick nap. As the whiskey hit my lips and Connick Jr. my ears, I began to fade away.
