Seductive Vibrations: Full Book

Please note: The Seductive Vibrations series were the first books I had ever written. They are in need of an editor! These books were not meant to go any further than four books, but became far more than that as requested from readers.

In time, I am hoping to put more time into these books to edit them.

~☆~☆~☆ Prologue ~☆~☆~☆

Life seemed to have changed so much in such a short time. My eyes glance around the dim room, it is beautiful, nothing like my place. I can’t help but smile despite been awoken by a nightmare that shook me from the core. I can’t remember it. I just remember been scared and fighting to wake up. I have no idea how I got to this point in my life. Of course, I know how I came to be here; I just don’t see how my entire life has shifted so drastically in only a few short weeks. The nightmare seems to haunt me, hoping it wasn’t true, I’d usually push it to the rear of my head, attempting to forget it, straining to cover it. The crazy thing is, I am not this type of person at all. He has taken over my life and changed me so much, and I don’t recognise myself anymore. That is a lie. I see my old self, the old me I lost years ago. I wish to recognise where things are going next, but right now, I feel like I’m losing control of my life, I was happily ensconced in my little routine. I’d go to university, then to work, and then I’d go home; simple, and uncomplicated. He’s turned everything upside down, I can’t find my way back, and even if I could, I don’t think I’d want to. He makes me happy, sitting here on his bed, still somewhat shaken up, I can’t conceive of anything else but the same recurring nightmare, is he making me happy enough, or is this just one big mistake? The sound of the door opening and, I know instantly it is him without even looking. When he walks into a room, I pick up on it straight away, raising my head, I look towards the door, and sure enough, there he is.

“Good morning Kitten, you look refreshed.” I can’t help but grin at him, somehow, he has defied all odds, he has made me want to live life again and actually love it.

“I guess I have you to thank for that,” I say sheepishly, my cheeks flushing pink, even after he’s seen me at my most vulnerable, I still feel insecure. I can’t help but avert my eyes whenever he calls me baby or kitten.

“I thought that maybe today we could have some fun?” His body begins climbing onto the bed as I start to laugh. His eyes are looking at me, amused. “No, I don’t mean that kind of fun, unless that’s what you require? I mean we could just stay in all day and explore each other more...” His body is moving closer to mine; how is he always in such a good mood? His hands started grabbing my body, and I can’t help but laugh, I jump back, my hand throwing up telling him to stop.

“No Jackson, I think we can behave for today, I have things that I need to do anyway. I have to go to my apartment as I haven’t been back there in ages.” He pouts, looking down at me, my breathing quickening under his gaze. I need to, and I need to say no. I have my life, which right now I haven’t even seen in what feels like years. I am happy with that though, but today I have to get back to the real world. “Plus, I promised Daz I’d meet up with him and his girlfriend.” I’ve got to admit, I have missed my apartment so much, and it seems like forever since I last saw my friends. We’ve spent weeks in his room, hardly leaving. I skipped university, and I am guessing I have lost my job as well now. I can’t stop myself though, something about him just draws me in, makes me want to say yes, to stay here with him and forget the outside world. I am falling, fast and hard and the ground is not strong enough to stop me once I hit I will keep going, crazy, I know. A few weeks and I already feel like I love him.

“Fine, come on babes, let’s get you home.” Getting ready, we walk to the car, climbing in he starts the engine.

“Hey, can you drop me at the centre, I need to grab a few things, I will make my way home from there.” Smiling at him, I slightly nudge his arm as he begins to drive.

“Of course, babes.” We sit quietly, after 15 minutes, finally reaching the centre he parks up the shops surrounding us, kissing him I climb out the car.

“Catch you after Kitten.” He smiles, driving off down the street, turning I begin to walk into the shops, shopping is dull, as always, I hate shopping, I detest a lot of girly stuff, just give me a blanket and a movie, and I am happy—shopping, nails, hair, all that however, I just can’t find myself doing. Getting home the flat is quiet, too quiet in fact. It feels so surreal; I haven’t been alone for weeks now. Things have changed so much, and there is no going back now, there is no way I can go back to be the person I used to be. Walking about the flat, I can’t help but smile seeing the kitchen, the kitchen that changed so much in one night. Even so, I still feel a sense of doom the feeling never leaving no matter what I do. My birthday was a night that changed so much.

*Birthday Party Months Before*

The sound of the alarm waking me, I hate work, I hate university, and I hate mornings. Hitting the button, I look around, my life is nothing extraordinary, I live with my roommates, and I spend most of my time either here, university or at work. I should be waking up in a hotel room somewhere, but no, I failed at that this year. Groggily walking to the shower, I climb in as the water hits my skin feeling amazing. Today needs to go fast, tonight, however, needs to go even quicker I honestly need tomorrow to arrive like now. Climbing out, I begin getting dried my eyes looking around I will be home soon; tonight, won’t be long or late, then I can just relax here, and spend a small bit of my birthday how I want. Walking out my bedroom it is quiet, grabbing food, I embark on walking to university, I don’t like driving if it isn’t too far, my mind is flying away every thought running through it. Stepping in, I can’t help but smile, a few hours to take my mind off today, yet deep down, I know that isn’t going to happen, not at all.

“Hi Alena.” Looking up, Megan is stood before me, a friend at university. I wouldn’t consider her a friend just someone I see a lot here; once I leave, I don’t hear from her or keep in touch.

“Hi Megan, how are you.” Smiling at her, my hand moves my seat as I move to sit. Megan is taking place next to me.

“Good, going away tonight for a week. I can’t wait, it’s my sister’s wedding in 5 days so looking forward to it.” She looks so happy, smiling, I just nod. I am not a people person, I want to get my course done and leave, to be honest, that sounds crazy and mean, but I like a simple life now. I would be happy hiding away for the rest of my life if I could. Sitting the class took ages, my mind trying to concentrate, but I just can’t. Looking at the clock, today is going slow. Maybe I should have just stayed in bed all day and slept? Faked been ill, I am grateful though, that not many people know me, or know what today is. It feels like I can ignore it easier. I find myself drifting into daydreams, the sound of movement making me glance up. Everyone is leaving, it is noon now, walking out of the university I walk to the bakers, grabbing food. I start on the journey to the office. Walking through I go to my desk, keeping my head down, I begin working, watching the clock. Every minute feels like an hour, why is today going so slow?

I need to stay at work late tonight, it’s my birthday, and I would rather avoid it at all costs, I have not celebrated my birthday in so many years. The issue is though I work in Telesales. There are no goals to meet to go home, so as soon as it reaches six o’clock, I must leave. No overtime nothing. Sitting here watching the time tick by, you can tell I am not working. My voice sounds fed up, lazy and like I don’t want to be here, I do want to be here, but I know I can’t stay here until tomorrow. My mind tries finding ways out of tonight, ways to avoid whatever has been planned. I can’t use work as an excuse to escape my birthday. As it reaches six, everyone else starts packing up and finishing and rushing to get home. Not me though I go at a snail pace, as slow as I can just to avoid tonight.

Grabbing my items, I start to make my way out and begin walking home; I know I can’t escape tonight at all. I shouldn’t complain when I have people who care and want me to enjoy myself, but for me, anything to do with people, or a lot of people and I won’t feel comfortable. Maybe it won’t be as bad as I think? Granted, I have not celebrated a birthday since I first got with Max. So, my birthdays are not something to celebrate, that is when all the abuse started on my birthday.

I am hoping it is something at the flat, just us three and a takeaway, even a small party, just nothing too big. Opening the door, I begin bracing myself for a flat full of people I do not know, here to celebrate my birthday. Turning the light on the flat is empty, not even Georgina or Liam are home. Well, this is a benefit, smiling I begin walking in, I head straight to the fridge to grab a drink and notice the note on it.

“GET READY, GET DRESSED AND GET BEAUTIFUL I WILL BE BACK AT 8!

- GEORGINA”

Ever the urgent, can’t just write in lower case, can she. The thing is I avoid my birthday every year, I either plan trips away or go to my parents, anything to prevent Georgina’s mad and crazy parties. This year I was so busy with university and work I forgot about my birthday coming up, I forgot to plan something, and when Georgina brought it up. Of course, it was already too late, and she had planned my birthday party. It isn’t here though. I should get ready, the last thing I want is Georgina coming back to me not being ready and have her complaining that we will be late. Jumping in the shower, I just stand here wondering what is happening tonight. I have a bad feeling about it though, but I should enjoy myself. I should for a change, celebrate that I am alive.

Getting dry, I start looking through the wardrobe, what can I wear? Thinking of Georgina, my eyes glance at the dresses, something that never gets worn and to be honest, I don’t want to wear a dress. It is my birthday; I want to feel comfortable and not like I am going over the top. So, I will grab some jeans and a shirt, add a black pair of boots and it is a safe bet, comfy yet suitable for pubs, clubs, cinema everything pretty much. Walking in the living room, I have half an hour before eight, so I guess I will spend half an hour of my birthday as I want. Sitting on the sofa, I grab the remote, turning it on, I put my feet up, watching the tv. Glancing up at the clock it is five past eight, Georgina is late as always. A few minutes into the next program, the door unlocks, Georgina stood there looking at me shocked.

“Seriously, you’re not ready yet? I left a note saying to be ready for eight, did you not see it?” She runs over her hands grabbing mine, pulling me up from the sofa.

“I am ready, see I don’t wear these to work and uni, do I?” Looking at her, I can’t help wonder what she thought I was going to wear.

“Not a chance, you’re wearing something better than that.” Her finger pointing at me up and down, she disapproves not a shock. I had a feeling this would happen. I stand with a shocked look on my face, my head shaking, she smiles. I don’t want to show my body, and I don’t want to risk it. Plus, who is going to be looking at me anyway with her there?

“When was the last time you went out, like out, out and actually enjoyed yourself, and showed yourself off? Before Max so move it.” Walking to me she begins dragging me in the bedroom, she throws open the wardrobe doors, rifling through it as she does, she is throwing clothes over her shoulder, always messy as well, I can’t help but smile. She turns around throwing a dress at me.

“Put this on and hurry up we are late!” Grabbing the dress, I look at it, yeah, this is Georgina’s style, not mine. Low cut, very low cut, black thigh-high dress, with a slit, slipping into it, I feel like I have nothing on. Grabbing another pair of shoes, I put them on.

“Right, I am ready” I stand there looking at her, feeling like I look amazing, her face falls. Okay, she disapproves of the shoes I knew she would, flat simple and no heels.

“Put these on, don’t wear them you’re not fifty Alena, actually just throw them out altogether.” Grabbing the shoes, I start putting them on, standing up, feeling myself wobble from the heel height. I walk over and stand in front of the mirror; I look at myself. I am nothing special, not even average, my hair is bright red and hard to miss, green eyes. I’m slender yes, but still not perfect. Georgina’s arm wraps around me.

“We look amazing, don’t we.” She grins, I turn to look at her reflection. Now Georgina is fantastic, long legs, blue eyes, auburn hair, her body is impressive, the benefit of going to the gym. Georgina is the woman every man hangs around at clubs and bars hoping for a chance. I would if I was a guy.

Here I am stood next to her; I have no chance with any guys; she is stunning. I am less than average. I feel worse now than I did before—Max’s words flowing through my head. I should have refused, just wore the jeans, he was right.

“Come on. We are going to be late. The taxi has been waiting for us.” She grabs my arm, pulling a little too quick and hard again. I wobble and nearly fall, I hate heels, I hate my birthday, and sometimes I hate Georgina for making me go out. Walking downstairs we climb into the taxi, my nerves kicking in. My stomach flipping and worry rising inside me. I have not been out since just after I met Max, my ex, a person I want to forget, and move on from, yet he always seems to be there. He is a person who destroyed my life so quickly and is the reason I only ever see faults in myself. The truth is, I have not been the same since Max, I can’t. I seem to be stuck in the mind space of being afraid to leave my house, fearful of men. Afraid of myself, but mostly I have no self-esteem left at all, none, every bit has been ripped away from me.

Sure, I will see a cute guy and hope. When they do try, I never feel safe; it is like it is going to take something big to make me feel secure with a guy again. While I kept trying to find who I was, every time I see a bit of self-esteem, his face was there in my mind ready to steal it away, just like tonight.