1989
June 29, 1989
Mila said that I should talk to my psychiatrist about how I can manage my negative emotions. My psychiatrist said that I should keep a diary to help me organize my thoughts and feelings. I miss mama. Why’d the bad guys come and hurt mama and daddy? I don’t know. Mila’s real nice though, so is her daughter Kara. Thomas helps too. Thomas found me in the bathroom. I cut myself. It helps. Thomas says I shouldn’t cut myself. I promised him I would try not to. He told me to tell Dr. Patel what happened today. I don’t want to. What if she’s disappointed with me?
July 1st 1989
Mila’s worried about me. I don’t wanna eat and I can’t sleep cause the bad man comes when I do. I don’t like the bad man. He scares me. Mila says she won’t let the bad man come back. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want the bad man to go away.
July 3rd 1989
Thomas says that the bad man can’t get me cause Mila’s the sheriff and no one’s stupid enough to mess with a sheriff. He also says that even if the bad man comes he wouldn’t let him hurt me. Thomas stays with me at night when I can’t sleep. We talk about everything.
July 7th 1989
Mila’s still trying to get me to eat. I’m trying to. I don’t wanna be a burden to her. I still can’t sleep well. Thomas stays with me most nights cause it helps me sleep better. The nightmares are still happening, I want them to go away. I want everything to go away
Mila took Thomas and me to the station. She showed us some pictures. I told her about the Copperheads and why their symbol is a cobra instead of a copperhead.. Mila left with some other officers. She still hasn’t returned. I’m worried. Kara says that she’s probably fine, cause these things take a while.
October 14th 1989
Mila wants Thomas and me to spy on a gang. Thomas doesn’t want me to do it cause it’s dangerous, but I want to. Nobody deserves to go through what I did. That’s why I want to help catch the bad guy. This way less people will go through what I did and that means less people will suffer.
Thomas and I are gonna train for a few months before going out. Mila says that way we’ll know how to defend ourselves if we get into trouble. Mila says that we have to learn how to shoot a gun. I hope it isn’t too loud.
November 16th, 1989
Mila showed me how to shoot a gun today. It was scary and loud. Mila did something to the gun to make it less noisy. It’s not as scary anymore.
