ONE
“But why?” A young, bored voice boomed in the car.
“Because this is your dad’s weekend with you guys,” I gave him a quick response while keeping my focus on the road. Not ten seconds passed before the other small person in the car spoke.
“But why?”
My eyes moved to the rear mirror to see little people sitting reluctantly in their car seats with frowns and crossed arms.
“That’s what the custody document says,” I dithered. My kids dreaded their time with their dad.
“But why?” the older one asked again, taking turns driving me nuts, as if this wasn’t hard for me already.
“Because a judge decided it so….” I turned on the signals so I could make a turn.
“But why?” the younger one asked once more before I had enough.
“Look, you two. We’ll have to do this every weekend for the next twelve years, so get used to it, okay? Stick to the program.” I exhaled. “This is our new normal. Two days will pass in a breeze. Before you know it, we’ll be back together,” I assured them, and they ceased with the why questions, but they weren’t happy.
To be honest, I was still hurt. For their sake, I made an effort to remain positive, but on the inside, I was a wreck.
“I think your dad has something exciting for you guys.” I faked a cheerful tone.
“Another photoshoot?” Aiden, my older one, asked. Yikes! How to say no when I knew most for sure it was that? Jace Adams, my ex, did nothing unless he could post it on social media, not even eating.
“I guess you’ll have to wait and find out.” Again, I tried my hardest to be cheerful. The little guy groaned. His sister, my younger one, Maya, kicked her tiny legs around before leaning her head to the side, blankly staring out the window.
They quieted down, allowing me to reflect on my swarming thoughts. We were heading to his new house, the one he had just moved in with his new wife. It was bigger, fancier, and way better than what we shared when we were together. Just like everything else in his life, picture perfect.
Even before the divorce was completed, he already had his entire wedding planned. Jace got remarried just two months after it. With my heart broken, I had to see all the cringe-worthy reels and posts about his beautiful wedding. The montages of him fake crying while watching how beautiful his wife looked in that fancy wedding dress, along with the videos of him playing at his wedding with our kids, were like a kick in the guts. But the worst part was when he took the microphone to say he had finally found the love of his life; then the video cuts to them dancing under a million lights.
He said that to me, too, that he loved me more than anything. But with me, there was never a fancy wedding, three-layer cake, or party. Fuck! I didn’t even get to wear a nice dress. We got married by a judge, and he didn’t even give me a ring. I gave Jace everything: my time, love, body, two beautiful children, and the best years of my life. Making him happy was my only goal, but all of me wasn’t enough for him. I wasn’t fit, an influencer, or glamorous, so Jace never posted a picture with me in his accounts.
His dream was to become an actor. He had always been handsome, but the agencies kept turning him down. We were high school sweethearts, and I got pregnant right after graduation, so we got married right away. I loved him with all my heart, but he was miserable.
Jace felt as if he was over. My pregnancy made my body change, pulling us apart. He was busy trying to provide for us while I cared for the baby. Jace got depressed, so I encouraged him to try another approach. I created social media accounts on every platform and posted his pictures.
It was amazing how fast he rose to fame. People followed him by the hundreds, then by the thousands. Agents noticed him, offering him multiple deals. Jace was the face of the steamiest book covers, and once those books took off, so did he.
Back then, I didn’t know I was creating a monster. Jace was happy, so I was happy for him. He had worked extremely hard, and I wanted to always be there for him and support him. Shortly after he rose to fame, we had our second baby, our girl. I stayed behind, taking care of the kids while helping him manage his social media from home, as well as doing video and picture edits while he worked out. I was basically a non-paid, full-time PA and media manager.
He became even more handsome, but I was so busy that I let myself go. Daily, I had to read message after message of people drooling over my husband. Some of them would cross the line by a mile, and I blocked them.
Jace was always much too busy to spend time with me, so we couldn’t be intimate for ages. A voice inside told me he had another, but I refused to believe it until I got the divorce papers by mail. He texted me, saying he was moving out of the house and would go live with her.
Confused by the sudden change, I called him and told him I wanted us to talk, but he acted like I was a clingy nuisance. A mosquito in his ear. No better than an obsessed fan.
One look in the rearview mirror, and I saw our kids still staring out the windows, bored out of their little minds. This was the first time he had them, and Jace couldn’t pick them up at home, so I had to drive to his.
Two hours. I would have to drop them off and pick them up at his new place every two weeks. The judge offered him every weekend, but he declined, saying the kids’ school was where I lived and that he didn’t want to interrupt them too much.
Bulshit!
“Mom!” Maya groaned.
“What, baby? Are you guys hungry?” I tried to change the topic before another round of “whys” started.
“Brin cooks like shit,” Aiden complained, and I gasped.
“Hey! Watch it!”
“What? It’s true!” he retorted, and Maya nodded in agreement. There wasn’t much I could say to argue with that. I knew she was into healthy food but couldn’t cook to save her life.
“Then ask your dad to buy takeout for you.” It wasn’t as if he didn’t have the money. Jace had a booming career, and I had nothing. All I did with my time was to help him build what he had. To earn some cash, I had just taken a waitress position. Also, I was planning to take community college courses and start a career.
After I said that, they made no more complaints. Jace would buy them whatever to have them smiling for his pictures, and those kids knew it.
I made it to the mall where we would meet. My ex would most likely take the kids to have a family shooting at a store before bringing them to his home. He might have gotten another sponsor.
I parked my worn-out car next to his yellow sports car and exited it. The kids took their own seatbelts off, getting down as well. Aiden helped Maya step out of the car while I walked around to take the car seats since Jace hadn’t bought them yet.
“Hey, there are my kids.” Jace spread his arms, waiting for them to rush to him, but they didn’t. The kids replied by giving him an unenthusiastic hug back.
“What’s wrong with you two? Why the long faces?” Jace shook Aiden’s shoulder.
“It’s a two-hour drive. That’s like ten hours strapped to a seat in kid’s time. They are tired.” I passed him the kids’ backpack, and he took it without acknowledging me or my words.
Ouch.
“Well, get ready. We have a lot of fun things planned for today,” he cheered, but neither looked excited.
Carrying the car seats, I placed them closer to his car, then waited for him to turn and look at me. He didn’t.
“I’ll leave them here. That must be everything.” My voice came out soft. Jace strode past me, opened his door, tossed everything inside, and slammed it close.
“Let’s get going,” he spoke to the kids, and they both glanced at me.
“Mom?” Maya pouted, and I walked closer.
“You two are going to have so much fun!” I hugged them at the same time, kissed their cheeks, and then their foreheads.
“Love you, mammy!” Maya patted my back. I gave them one last kiss and brushed their hair back before standing straight.
“Love you more,” I said quickly before hurrying to my car, not wanting them to see me cry. Even after getting in, I kept on observing them. Jace held Maya’s hand, then grasped his phone with the other. He was already snapping pictures of our kids to show everyone how perfect his life was.
I couldn’t control the tears that rolled down my cheeks. I had been holding back for so long that now that I let myself cry, they wouldn’t stop falling. With my vision blurred, I started the car and put it in reverse. My eyes glanced at the rear mirror before stepping on the gas a bit harder than I should have.
“Motherfucker!”
The sound of my car hitting something had me nearly puking a gut out on the spot. I put the car in park, then rushed out. Behind my car was a black man sitting on the pavement, rubbing his arm. All my stress, along with my emotions, came out at once, and I lost it. I screamed.
**THIS WILL BE A 9 CHAPTERS EXCERPT**
