What is your opinion?
Always
"You have my attention, left me wanting more. Cannot wait to see the rest of this story. This is just a teaser!"
Stereotypical but interesting
"This story seemed to follow a lot of the tropes of a romance story, but I did enjoy it. I liked exploring the minds of these two different people, both when they were young and when they were a bit older. It ended on a bit of a cliff-hanger and left me wanting more. I liked the idea of Storm having to go back to her love due to her need to try and help a friend. That created a bit of an interesting dynamic, and I'm curious as to how that will unravel. You do a lot showing us the inner workings of the characters, but I feel like you could give us more. Based upon what we see here, they seem to be wholly defined by their relationships and their work. I want to know who they are apart from that - who they really are when no one is looking. I also would have liked to have seen more setting in this story. Setting does huge things for giving the reader the mood of the story, and I think it would make this more endearing depending on the setting that you give us. Other than that, it could also use some work on the technical end of the writing. It was definitely an enjoyable beginning. I like that you use shorter chapters; it's refreshing to read them because they're often to-the-point and feisty. All in all, good start!"
Always
"I was immediately drawn to Storm the shy writer. I did want a little more physical description...when Hunter recalled her long hair it surprised me. Hunter seems just another handsome guy so far, but I'm sure we'll get to see his complexity in later chapters. I loved Storm's quotations and her optimism. Concern for her friend Laura was well described and provided a possible unterior motive for the flight to meet Hunter 20 years later. I thought the plot so far was mysterious and complicated enough to hold my attention and make me want to read more. There were some strange comma placements that confused me at first. I think this is a very promising start to a novel and I'd love to read more. Thanks, Laura"
Good start
"I'm not an expert in the romance genre. Having said this, the beginning feels strong and to the point, girl likes boy, boy likes girl... How will it all develop? The direction would appear to be a contemporary Pride and Prejudice, don't know if other twists are in the works."
Captivating Start
"The beginning of this story really captivates the reader. I liked the way the author introduced the romance and how the two main characters talked with each other. I can't wait to see where this story continues .There are a couple errors, but nothing that the author can't fix. I think this first chapter is a promising start! :) **NOTES FOR THE AUTHOR BELOW."
Always
"I really enjoyed the calm start you offered with the two people. both attractive, and yet so different. There was also a nice amount of dialogue and you showed what Storm was doing efficiently. However, there were a few recurring mistakes. For example, you said, ""Yes."" and on the next line, "She replied." This would be less confusing and have a better pace as, ""Yes," she replied." You do this quite often, so I'd suggest checking over that. You also have areas, where you have extra commas. In, "and big dark eyes, seemed to bore right through him," the comma should be left away. I think the same could be done for a better flow on, "Maybe, I could show you around then." "He found it, refreshing, almost intoxicating," should be, "He found it refreshing, almost intoxicating." You wrote "Chapter 1" in your text after introducing the date and place, but "Chapter 1" is introduced automatically by inkitt, so you could leave that away. Lastly, in Inkitt's term and conditions, it asks for you to use the inkitt tool as a line break. You used "****" so perhaps you could change that. Apart from that, it was a good read and you should definitely continue writing!"
