Solstice Hunt

I grew up in the middle of a war that nearly wiped out the human race as we know it.

On December 12th I had just turned six years old. On December 12th I lived in a house on West Bourbon Street with a white picket fence and a makeshift swing in the front yard that my dad had fabricated with rope and a wooden board; tied to the thickest limb of our sugar maple tree. On December 12th the Lycans declared anarchy on our government, and the End began.

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I miss the sun. I miss how when you look directly at it, right in the center, its outline becomes more defined and how squeezing my eyes afterward would cause various shapes and colors to dance behind my eyelids. I miss the assortment of hues it cast into the sky at different hours of the day, my mom ushering me outside in the late evening to watch its descent from the sky. Every evening would be a different combination: pink and red, yellow and orange, purple and blue. My favorite season had always been summer solely because of the sun.

You’d never think it wouldn’t be promised for tomorrow.

God, I miss the sun.

“Oi, girl, you gonna help me dig or continue to sit there and look stupid?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Linus Cisco, the old fart of Greenbriar, admonishing me for my daydreaming. I had a bad habit of falling deep into my thoughts and tuning the whole world out, so it was only a matter of time before someone called me out for it- leave it to Linus.

With a hunkered sigh, I lifted my sore arms to continue to shovel the deep pit in the ground that had taken us days to curate. It was just my luck that my assigned digging partner for the week was the most obnoxious man around.

Thankfully, come tomorrow, I wouldn’t have to lift another shovel again for a long time.

I’m sure of it.

Though I knew I was supposed to respect my elders, I couldn’t help but take an immediate disliking to Linus when I met him at twelve years old and upon seeing him, he thwacked my forehead and told me I looked like a string bean.

Why couldn’t I have been paired up with Emily, who was several tunnels down with her digging partner? Or hell I would’ve even been happier if I’d been assigned to lazy Blythe.

“We’re really going to be here all day at the pace yer goin.”

Saying Linus liked to nitpick every miniscule grievance of mine would be an understatement. Shooting him a filthy look over my shoulder, I turned back to my shovel and blew a mud-caked tuft of hair out of my eyes before fastening my lips as I began to shovel belligerently, throwing the dirt over my shoulder in quick succession.

“Gah! Mind yer dirt, lassie!”

I sometimes didn’t recognize Linus’s odd dialect. I knew he was old and lived in a world and time far different than the one we live in now, but his cooky sayings and odd nicknames tended to go over my head.

Despite that, his exclamation caused my movements to slow, and several seconds later I gratifyingly looked over my shoulder to a pissed-off Linus with dark, rich soil dusted over his face and the white undershirt of his jumpsuit. Neither which were in much better condition even before I had thrown the dirt.

I wasn’t judging, at this point in the day, it covered every orifice of my body.

“Oh, did I hit you with dirt?” I feigned a pout, “I’m sorry, I was so busy picking up my pace I didn’t even notice.”

“Yah, yah smart aleck,” He grunted as he began dusting himself off, “Last day with the likes of you and then I won’t have to see yer face hopefully for another month.”

“Likewise,” I muttered under my breath. Though, it would be nearly impossible for us to avoid each other’s faces at all. Living in a place like Greenbriar constitutes seeing the same faces daily. Linus lived down the hall from me, so it was twice as likely.

“Y’know what the pro’lem is? Yer generation don’t know nothin bout respect.” Linus nearly toppled over as his shovel hit a particularly tough patch of dirt, and I fought to hold in my laugh. It’s not that I didn’t know anything about respect. I was just raised on the principle that respect was earned, not inherent.

Unbothered at his insult, I resumed a steady pace of digging, conscious of Linus’s pace and ensuring mine was faster, “What’s the point of respect? Both of our generations are nearly wiped out anyway.”

Linus let out a hearty laugh at my sarcastic joke, sticking his shovel in the dirt, before limping over to the edge of the pit to the makeshift ladder to climb out. I suppose it’s ok forhimto stop digging at his own leisure, but when I want a break, he throws a fit.

I didn’t bother to watch the old man struggle as he lifted his stick thin legs onto the ladder, slow-paced in his age, but I did look over when he made it to our sacks and grabbed his caved-in gallon water bottle, streaks of dirt smeared on its surface and spout. I regarded him enviously as he sat to gargle down the remains, the sound of his gulps causing the spit in my mouth to evaporate. Rations were especially low this winter, I ran out of the last bit of water in my gallon last night and am not due for a refill until later tonight.

Following Linus’s lead, I stuck my shovel in the dirt and made my way to the ladder and out of the pit, sitting a couple feet away from him and giving my aching body a much-needed rest. Drawing my legs to my chest, I tiredly laid my head down onto my huddled knees, trying to ignore my odorous clothes.

“Cap’n has had us all out here for years in these damned tunnels, diggin in the dry dirt for water that has frozen over above.” Linus let out a dry cough as he shook his head, “Absolutely pointless.”

Though I didn’t want to admit it, I knew Linus had a point. There were currently twenty people littered throughout the tunnels of Greenbriar, the same twenty people who had been diligently doing their duty alongside Linus and I all week. We futilely dig away at holes that have been dug at for the past twelve years, always nothing to show for it.

“You never know,” I lifted my head and looked at our pit, “We could be the ones to find a water source.”

“Yer funny girl,” Linus replied unlaughingly, “Glass half full, eh?”

I had no clue what glass half full meant, but I nodded anyway because I didn’t want to appear stupid.

“I bet you’s a romantic type, always lookin for hope in rotten places.”

That wasn’t necessarily true, but I wasn’t going to refute his claim. I’m not an optimist; in fact, I’m severely paranoid and overflowing with anxiety. Growing up in a world such as ours strips you of hope bit by bit until there’s nothing left. A mere shell doing everything it can to survive.

Linus seemed to have read something in my face when he spoke his next words, “Ah, I see why yer head been stuck in the clouds all week.”

“Stuck in the couds-?”

“It’s cuz yer boy not yet back from his mission.”

My breath was stolen from my lungs. I had been avoiding thinking about it. Him. I had to avoid it because if I didn’t, I’d obsess. I’d crumple beneath the crippling fear and heartache, and I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed. But I couldn’t afford to stay in bed. I had my duties to Greenbriar, remaining a turning cog in this elaborate wheel of cogs that need to all contribute to function.

It must’ve been thirty seconds before I could form a response, “And how’s that your business?” I snapped, throwing myself into a standing position.

“It’s my buis-ness when you can’t screw yer head on straight cuz yer boy-friend’s dead!”

I knew my face was red. A hot, fiery rage sweltered violently through my body, and it took all my restraint from knocking him upside the head with my fist.

“You shut your mouth old man!”

“And what’re you gonna do if I don’t, missie?”

“I dig faster than you on your best day!”

Linus scoffed, “Sure, when yer head’s not up your ass!”

“If I wanted to talk to an asshole,” I hissed with narrowed eyes, “I’d fart!”

And with that, I grabbed my sack and empty gallon, “I’m calling it.”

“Ah c’mon!” Linus bellowed to my back, “We still have an hour.”

“I don’t care,” I was already unbuttoning my jumpsuit, taking one of my arms out of my sleeve to reveal my black tank top I had on underneath, tying it to my waist, “Learn to mind your business and shut your mouth.”

“I’m tellin Cap’n!”

I responded by sending him a one finger salute over my shoulder as I walked back up the path back towards Greenbriar.

Linus was always quick to threaten to tell on me to Captain for any reason, but history proved him to be all talk. Then again, if he did actually tell on me, that could be a problem for tomorrow.

Though I still had an hour and a half until I saw Doc, I decided now was as good as time as any to drop in for my annual shot. My dehydration was making me dizzy, and Doc sometimes had an extra water bottle for me. I could also go back to the dorm after and go to bed and try to tune out Linus’s awful words.

Making my way back to the port, I hopelessly let my thoughts veer towards Soren, my best friend. He left four days ago; four days is now the longest we had gone without seeing each other since I was eleven years old. Four days is also three days past when he was supposed to be back. I know the boy like the back of my hand, forming an unnatural bond with him throughout our seven years of friendship. I couldfeelthat he was still alive. I attributed it to my sixth sense, or perhaps my intuition, but I knew deep in the pit of my stomach that Soren Achar was out there, in danger. But there was nothing I could do.

Nothing I could do until tomorrow.

Tomorrow was the day. The day I had been anticipating for six years.

If one didn’t know Greenbriar like I did, they’d probably get lost for days trying to make it back to base. But having practically grown up here, I could navigate with my eyes closed. Albeit I’d probably fall into a pit and potentially die from injury.

Passing several familiar faces, I offered my polite hellos until I came upon Emily, who looked to be finishing up with her digging partner Jacob.

“Tala! My throat burns I’m so thirsty,” Emily groaned once her cat-like eyes fell on me.

Emily always has a complaint on the tip of her tongue; I recognized it as her way of greeting.

“I’m heading to Doc to get some water if you want to come.”

“Already tried this morning,” Emily offered me a begrudged sigh before turning to Jacob, “I’m leaving early,” she declared finitely.

“We’re not done yet,” he countered.

“I’ve got period cramps.”

Well that left little room for argument, Jacob’s cheeks turned a beet red as he resumed his digging.

Once Emily got all her stuff together, she half-ran over to me and hooked our arms together, “Maybe we could try to flirt with Lennon, and he’d spare us some water.”

We simultaneously looked over to Lennon several holes down, wiping the sweat on his wart-covered forehead with the back of his hand.

“I don’t want to flirt with Lennon,” I grumbled. I had been desperate enough when Emily had suggested it a couple months ago, but immediately regretted the decision as soon as we were doing it. Lennon’s nice enough, but his teeth and breath could bring anyone to their knees. I was so nauseous; Ialmostdidn’t want to drink the water from him.

“Fine, I’ll do it. But I’m giving you a little less than half for my sacrifice.”

“Deal,” I laughed as my stomach let out a gargle.

“Did you make it to breakfast?” Emily asked knowingly. I tended to sleep in way past breakfast time, always missing the opportunity for me to eat in the morning.

I shook my head, the next time I’d have an opportunity to eat was dinner.

“You didn’t miss much, flavorless broth with a stale slice of bread.” That sounded amazing to me who hasn’t eaten all day, but I knew Emily was trying to make me feel better.

“I have to get to Doc anyways, I’ll meet you at dinner.”

“Ok, sure.” Emily hesitated as she unhooked our arms, “Tala, I’ve been meaning to tell you something, but I wanted to do it in private.”

“What’s wrong?” I deadpanned. Emily is often prone to dramatics and gossip, but I knew if she had to announce whatever she had to say, it’s serious.

“Nothing! It’s nothing serious, I promise. I just have a lot on my mind and need someone to talk to.”

We were already approaching the port to reenter Greenbriar’s base, when she stopped me by taking my shoulder.

“Can I come talk to you? Tonight?”

“We can talk now if you really need to.”

Her smile was forced as she shook her head, “no, tonight is perfect.”

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“Your vitals are looking normal, Tala. Could use a little color to your face,” cold hands press to my cheeks, quickly absorbing the little warmth that lay there.

“Hm, we all could though.” Doc chortled at her own joke.

Typically, I enjoy my weekly infirmary visits. But not this time. Not because I dislike Doc, she’s actually quite pleasant to be around when she’s in a good mood.

“I’m just going to-” I rushed to close my eyes, immediately squeamish at the sight of the syringe vial with an inch long needle sticking from its end clutched in Doc’s chalky gloves.

This is only a yearly happenstance, my injections, but nothing stopped my nerves from riling at the sight of the needle.

Three seconds feels like an eternity by the time I feel her presence in front of my sitting form.

It isn’t necessarily the pain that I dread as much as it is the anticipation of it. The second before the needle pierces my skin and I can do nothing else but wait with bated breath for the inevitable discomfort. I wouldn’t say I’m fearful of pain, I’ve had my fair share of it. But it’s something about knowing that it’s coming and being helpless as it happens.

A sharp pinch followed by the firm pressure of a gauze on my tense arm signaled the end of my dramatized anxiety.

“There, all done.” I popped my eyes open, assessing the droplet of blood already seeping to the surface of the white gauze.

After Doc put a bandage over the small wound, I hastily hopped down onto the concrete floor from the patient exam table; the velvety crepe paper crumbling and slightly tearing from the force of my descent.

“You know the drill, hightail it back here if you start feeling off.” She held out her palm, revealing six circular, white pills before I wordlessly took and pocketed them.

“It’s winter, everyone’s antsy, but we’re rationing everything we got. Those are gonna only get sparser.” Doc gestured to the pills now in my pocket. “I would space them out once a week between taking them, you’re probably going to feel like crap, but that’s all we’ve got.”

“We’re down to the last bit?” I questioned, pulling my sleeve over my bandage.

She shrugged, “Captain just gives them to me. He’s the one who told me to cut back. This winters going to be tough.”

Figuring that was the end of my examination, I stepped for the robin-egg and beige drawn curtains that enclosed us in the infirmary cubicle, stopping short at Doc’s question, “Tala, are you feeling, ok?”

My hand stilled; was I ok? Probably not. Turning towards her in response, “Yeah, I’m ok.” I was surprised at the hoarseness of my voice, and unsurprised that only worsened my unconvincing demeanor.

Doc crossed her arms over her chest, quirking a thin brow at my meek reply. “You haven’t said more than a single sentence since you’ve stepped in here, girl. I’ve known you since you were eight years old, you couldn’t lie then, and you’re not all that great at it now.”

I weighed her words, trying to decipher if I was even ready to speak aloud my tormenting thoughts. On one hand, I could be truthful- as close to the truth as I would let myself, and on the other I can dismiss her inquiry- it wasn’t like Ihadto talk to her. “I’ve just been... anxious.” I took a breath before uncomfortably shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

If Doc had a physical reaction to my words, she withheld it impeccably as she smoothly sat down onto her black ergonomic chair, gesturing for me to sit as well. I didn’t bother objecting; arguing against Doc would only be a waste of time.

I hopped back onto the examination table, settling back into my previous spot while attempting to stomp down the growing anxiety in my chest.

“Tala, I’m concerned. You’ve been working nonstop; your body is littered with bruises, and you’re pale and look exhausted and dehydrated. When’s the last time you’ve had any food, or water?”

“Wel-” She was out of her chair and over to her counters before I could get my words out, opening her little fridge and coming back over with a small water bottle and a sleeve of crackers.

“But Emily said- ”

“Oh, that brat came to me two days ago asking for a bottle before she tried it again this morning. I told her no, stingy girl.”

I wondered what Emily did to get on Doc’s bad side. Whatever it was, I needed to be sure to avoid doing it. Handing me the items, I couldn’t help but ravenously chug the water bottle, having to hold myself back from finishing it so I could have something to wash the crackers down with.

“You know I’m here to talk, always. Even just to listen, I don’t have to say anything.”

I wiped my mouth with the back of my arm before saying, “my birthday is tomorrow.” She only stared at my pause. “My birthday is tomorrow and then it’ll be over. All that time, all those years will either amount to everything or nothing.”

“Tomorrow is a big day for you,” she noted, as if it was some astute observation.

“It decides the rest of my life.”

“It’s not only a big day because of your assessment, Tala.”

“I don’t-” I broke off, completely unprepared for the uncomfortable pit that settled at the bottom of my stomach at her words.

“It’s only natural that you’re feeling extra stress and anxiety, especially because of what happened almost six years ago.”

I didn’t want to follow the train of thought of her implication. Deciding to ignore her last sentence, I continued, “Ye-es, I’ve been anticipating this day for so long... now that it’s this close, I find myself wishing I could just go back. Go back to when I knew I had more time, when it was something to be obtained and not so...soon.”

“This day has been idealized by you for years, you’re practically killing yourself to prepare for it.”

I wouldn’t say I’m killing myself necessarily, but I might not be adequately compensating for my hours of training.

“As your doctor, I have to insist you get a sufficient amount of sleep, especially tonight.” She rolled her chair across the floor, rummaging through her alabaster cabinets in search of something. After several more moments of searching, she straightened, tea packets clutched in her hands.

“I’m out of melatonin, but I can offer some lavender tea, it might help you with your insomnia.”

I didn’t bother asking how she knew I wasn’t sleeping, I figured the heavy, pronounced bags under my eyes spoke for themselves. Though I appreciated her remedy, I was afraid that the tea would fail to assuage the thoughts that plague me, that keep me from sleeping at night.

“I will repay you for your kindness,” I promised, but she only waved me off in reply.

“You know Tala, you don’t owe a debt every time someone shows you a semblance of kindness.” Her words were loaded, but I ignored them, shifting my legs so that I could shimmy the tea packets into my back pocket as I sat.

“Anything else troubling you?” Doc was fishing. I knew she wanted me to bring up Soren, bring up my worry. But I wasn’t ready to give her that satisfaction, I wanted to keep my worries—keep him to myself.

I offered Doc an insincere smile, hopping back off the table and uncurling my toes that I hadn’t been aware I was clenching the entire conversation.

“No troubles,” my smile weakened as I stepped forward to leave, “He’s going to come back.”

“Of course,” her eyes seemed to be scamming my retreating face intrinsically, “Of course he will.”

As I stepped out of the curtain, I heard her call, “Good luck tomorrow, Tala!”

The infirmary holds 4 curtained cubicles, all within feet of each other. A thin drape hardly constitutes privacy, but when you live in an environment such as ours, privacy had become a commodity a long time ago.

The Vega’s just-so-happened to leave their cubicle at the same time as me, holding their 3-year-old ginger-haired toddler, Russ.

Enyo and Crynn Vega were the first couple to give birth to a life down here in Greenbriar, and it might’ve been one of the biggest celebrations we’ve ever had. Little Russ hasn’t had it easy. Our vitamin D supplements didn’t stop his impending rickets disorder, his stubby bowlegs and knock knees. I was never close with Enyo or Crynn. In fact, I’m not sure if I had ever even had a conversation with either of them up until the birth of their son. When I first learned of their pregnancy, I concluded I didn’t like the two. I questioned their sanity; I held contempt for their selfishness. How could they? How could they willingly bring a baby into a world like this? I didn’t get it, perhaps I still don’t. But something changed the day of Russ’s birth. I had no intention of witnessing it, hell, I went out of my way to avoid even catching sight of Crynn and her robust stomach throughout her pregnancy. When the time came, though, I was there. I waited outside of the infirmary, like many of the others who wanted to bear witness to the miracle of a new life. I waited with shaking limbs and clenched, sweaty palms and hoped for any update on the baby’s condition despite not having a care only the day before. I was anxious for them, Crynn and Enyo, for their unborn son, as if they were my own blood.

“G’morning Tala,” Enyo greeted warmly. Enyo is a rather large man with tawny skin and an eye-catchingly large nose. He held an air of hope around him, so thick it was almost palpable. I envied him for it, but I pitied him at the same time. I knew he fought in the World War; I know that’s why the left side of his leg is charred to bits. I’ve always wanted to ask him about his experiences, but I didn’t want to be insensitive.

“Morning,” I nodded back to him. Baby Russ held out his ruddy hand to me, babbling a mix of English and baby talk.

“Russ” Crynn laughed, her auburn hair swaying as she took the toddler from her husband’s arms, “You can’t be held by everyone you see.”

I stood there quietly, watching the small family interact. I wouldn’t consider myself a partisan of children. To be fair, there aren’t many around here, and the few that are, are quite miserable and whiny. But Russ was the exception- the only, despite being the youngest.

“I don’t mind,” I interjected before Russ got settled into her arms, holding my hands out to take him.

Crynn wordlessly deposited the child into my arms at my words, to which he immediately began wrapping my tendrils of hair around his stubby fingers and yanking, hard.

“Russ,” Crynn scolded, immediately reaching to untangle my hair from his grasp.

The toddler giggled at my pseudo bellows of pain, and I couldn’t help but let out a few genuine chuckles of my own in between my yelps, Crynn and Enyo following suit.

“My goodness, child.” Crynn laughed after successfully untangling my strands. With the entertainment of yanking my hair over, he began prodding and pinching my face.

“Everything ok?” I nodded to the cubicle they had emerged from; it was Nurse Swanson’s cubicle.

Enyo gave Crynn a severe look before looking at me, “We wanted better news, but we have hope.”

I didn’t bother prying. I knew Russ wasn’t ok, every time I see him, he looks gaunter and paler. Children weren’t made to never see the sun. I shifted him to my other arm as he began leaning on my chest.

“Our boy is strong,” Crynn grinned up at Enyo, “Too strong to let something as small as this bring him down.”

I couldn’t help but disagree, what Russ is experiencing is anything but small. But I held my tongue.

“Tala!” I looked over my shoulder at a frantic Emily speedily pacing to my standing form.

“They’re,” she huffed, “Back.”

I almost dropped the baby. After safely depositing back in his father’s arm, I shakily followed Emily to the exit so we could make our way back to Bunker B.

“I’m so glad they’re back, Tala.” Enyo said to my back.

“We’d greet the raiders with you guys, but it’s nap time.” Crynn smiled sympathetically, “I’ve been praying for their safety.”

I hurriedly nodded, waving goodbye to the Vega’s over my shoulder and joining Emily’s pacing out of the infirmary.

“Was he there? Did you see him?” My heart galloped painfully in my throat from anticipation as we made our way through the semi-lit, dank tunnels.

“Didn’t get the chance to,” her breaths were coming out in quick pants from the exertion of her run from Bunker B to the infirmary. “Soon as I heard the hatches opening in Bunker A, I hightailed it to you.”

I didn’t bother thanking her, she knew my appreciation for doing this for me went unsaid. I had asked her when they left to fetch me as soon as they returned, and she had agreed, no questions asked.

“Did you hear how many made it back at least?”

She shot me a look, “No.”

“Ok, I’m sorry. I just, I’m so-”

“I know, Tala, you don’t have to apologize.”

All I could do was reach over and tightly squeeze her hand before pulling away.

Apparently, Emily didn’t want to walk in silence just as much as I, so she randomly blurted out,

“I have to admit, I didn’t think he’d make it back.”

“What?” I balked at her. Me and her didn’t talk about him; we never have. The two of them never liked each other for reasons beyond my head, which meant that I kept our friendships separate. “Why would you say something like that?”

“Hey, I’m not saying that to be shitty. You must’ve saw that the odds weren’t exactly in his favor in coming back. Four days gone on his first mission? ”

“Well, he is back, so drop it.” I couldn’t help the silent anger at her words. Sure, she probably knew more than me about why the ‘odds weren’t exactly in his favor’, but the fact that she accepted his death just like that.MySoren’s death? I couldn’t stomach it.

Emily didn’t seem to take my snappy retort to heart—the dense git-- after several seconds of silent walking she spoke again, “Captain’s pacing so bad I swear he’s weathering away the concrete. Of course, they come back the literal day before your assessment.”

Her words were not reassuring in the slightest. My thoughts veered towards the possibility that Soren might not be the one to return, then to my impending assessment, then back to Soren.

Please be okay. Please,please.

I needed to take my mind away from my pessimistic thoughts, ”You think he’s going to pass me?”

Emily stopped still before we reached the indicative narrowing tunnels of the front of Greenbriar, staring into my eyes at my question. The yellow bulbs from the perched wall sconce on the dilapidated tunnel walls highlighted her aristocratic features. She’s twenty-three, though looks- and sometimes acts- quite younger than her age. I’ve known her since the beginning of my time here at Greenbriar. Back then, she was prissy and whiny, desperate for attention and wanting everyone around her to be just as miserable as she was. Her older sister Kyra was mellow and quiet, a complete contrast to Emily. After Kyra died three years ago, Emily was never the same.

“I don’t see why not,” her voice deepened bitterly, “Not like he’s got the right to be picky. We sure could use any and every volunteer we get.” To almost every patron of Greenbriar’s disbelief, Emily Finch, who screamed at bugs and pests, and who whined and cried when forced to do any manual labor, volunteered to become a raider her 20th birthday, several months after her sister died. She had passed her assessment and was initiated in a day.

No one knew her stealth until she joined, hiking the 10-mile trek to the village and back to Greenbriar before the sun went down, carrying as much as she could.

Emily’s answer appeased me enough to not further the subject, and we continued our trek in silence.

“Tala, maybe we should talk now.” It wasn’t going to be long until we reached Bunker B, and my heart palpitations attested to its nearness.

“Hmm?” I hummed, my mind running rampant at what I would find when I walked into the room.

“It’s something that happened a year ago-” She couldn’t finish her sentence; I was already sprinting as soon as the slightly illuminated door of Bunker B came into sight. My clunky shoes slapped against the concrete floor and my heavy breathing resounded against the hollow tunnel walls. As soon as I threw the metal door open, I felt like I was going to pass out.

There was an incessant thumping in my ears, drowning out all other noise in the room. The booming was furious and erratic. It was my heart, which seemed to swell into a mallet and swing against my rib cage, a drum full of dirt that might burst at any moment.

My eyes frantically darted around the room- an awful feeling settling in the pit of my stomach.

I took a step forward, then suddenly fell still at the sight of him.

My person.