Bruce Moose!!!!

Bruce Moose!!!!

Some time had passed, and Rascal was feeling much better. He had, in fact, become a little rascal, or as Bruce liked to call him, a little rascal of a skunk with spunk. His bumps and bruises and scrapes had healed, and his leg was mostly back to normal, except for a slight limp that was probably going to stay with him for a long time. Maybe a lifetime. But Rascal, being a little rascal, wasn’t about to let that stop him from being a skunk-about-town, in a cute and adorable way. He was a busy critter, always on the move. He made some of the residents of Three Ponds Sanctuary fee exhausted just watching him. Rascal had his own corner of the big barn, not too far from Bruce’s stall, and all was going well with the arrangement.

“Rascal is a very quiet creature, Betty.”

“He sure is.” Betty responded.

“Do you think he’s happy here?” Bruce asked.

“He seems to like it just fine. I think it’s in his nature to be a loner, so he keeps to himself. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“A loner?”

“Yes, a solitary creature. Some animals prefer their own company. They may not be comfortable around others like we are. They’re just not the social types. You and I are both types, we like being around other creatures at times, but we also like to be alone at times.” Betty explained.

“Oh yes, now I get it. Sometimes I like to wander off for a think and a ponder, but sometimes I like to be right in the middle of all the action, it makes the loner in me fonder of the others around me. I realize then how much I value them.” Bruce replied.

Bruce and Betty watched Rascal scoot around the big barn for a bit until he disappeared out of a small hole in the wall. Bruce shrugged and sighed.

“Well Betty, I guess he went out for a while, what do you want to do now?”

“Why don’t we take a little stroll around the farm and see what everyone is up to. That’s usually an interesting activity.”

“I’m with you on that.” Bruce said, excitedly.

The pair walked out of the big barn and stopped to scope out the area and see where the action was. Bruce spotted a small crowd gathered at the goat pen. That looked to him like a great place to start. As soon as they arrived they noticed what all the fuss was about. Maurice Mule was back, and he had stories no doubt. Maurice had quite a tough life. He came from a working farm, tired and sore from the long hours he put in each day. He retired from that farm several years earlier and went to a retirement farm to live out the rest of his years relaxing and grazing in a pasture, but things didn’t work out there because a few of the animals weren’t very friendly toward him, so he was taken to a sanctuary, but they didn’t treat him very well, so he left. He just walked away one day. He was found months later, skinny, and lonely. Luckily, someone had the good sense to bring him to Three Ponds. He started thriving, and made a full recovery, until one day he got sick, then he got sicker, and nobody could figure out what was wrong with him. It was an infection in one of his hind legs. A bad one. So, he left again, but this time he went to a special hospital just for animals where he could get the treatment he needed. Unfortunately, the doctors had to remove part of one of his back legs. The good news was that the doctors made a special piece to replace the part of his leg that was missing. A prosthetic. And it worked! He had a little bit of a limp, but he didn’t care. Maurice spent months away learning how to walk with the prosthetic and generally getting better. And now, he was better, and he was back. Back to the best place for him and he was welcomed with open arms…and hooves…and claws…and paws…and, well, he was heartily welcomed. Maurice was happy to be back. He tried to stay positive about the whole ordeal, and even joked that the doctors took his ‘kicking leg’ but he didn’t need to kick anymore because he still had a ‘wicked mule bite’, so it wasn’t the end of the world. It was the beginning of a different life, and he was feeling good about it.

“Hi Betty, hi Bruce!” Maurice said, with lots of energy.

“Welcome back, Maurice!” They said in unison.

“Thank you, it sure is good to be here, back among friends.”

Poke Pig piped up. “We were just telling Maurice about Stanley’s new idea…his new adventure…his new—”

“Disaster!” Charles Horse interrupted.

“What’s that?” Bruce asked.

“Let’s have his assistant tell you.” Mootilda said with some sarcasm in her voice, while rolling her eyes.

“His assistant?” Betty asked.

“Yes…his personal assistant…not to be confused with his professional assistant…” Mootilda answered.

“Oh boy…” Bruce said, getting the feeling something silly was brewing.

Thelma Sheep made the introduction. Which was sort of a mistake. Sheep weren’t the best pick for public speaking. “Maaaaa-aaaaake waaaa-aaaay for the best maaaaa-aaaagic show assistant in the wooo-ooorld, Miiii-iiiiiss Cindyyyy-yyy Suuuu-uuuue Buuuu-uuutter Nuuuu-uuuut Squaaaa-aaaash Pettigreeeewwww!”

“I don’t even know where to begin with that.” Bruce said with a bit of nervousness in his voice.

“That surely was a mouthful.” Betty replied.

“I’m already exhausted.” Mootilda added.

Cindy Sue Butternut Squash-Pettigrew appeared out of nowhere and asked, “Am I on? Have you announced my arrival? Is it suppertime yet? Did I hear a bell?”

“It’s time to make the announcement, Cindy Sue…” Ramona Hen said.

“Oh, right. Well, I’m here today to tell you all about the big show! I have it all written down somewhere…well, I had the paper somewhere.” Cindy Sue looked and peeked and patted herself anxiously to seek where she had put the piece of paper that had the instructions of what to do, and the words to say, that Stanley had written down for her.

“It’s on the ground behind you.” Vicky Greyhound said, pointing.

Cindy Sue picked up the note and looked at it. “Well, I can’t read this chicken scratch, who wrote this?”

“This isn’t going well, Betty.” Bruce whispered.

“And this is just the announcement. Think about how the actual show will go.” She replied.

Bruce made his ‘I fear the worst’ face and shook his head slowly.

Out of nowhere a voice shouted out, “Get off the stage!”

The crowd looked around but didn’t see anybody. It took a few seconds for the group to realize who it was. Gideon Rat was sitting atop a fence post. Gideon liked being smallish most of the time, he blended in with lots of things.

“I’m just heckling the ol’ girl, it’s kind of my thing. I don’t mean any harm.” He said.

“Be nice Gideon, she’s doing her best.” Betty sternly replied.

“Alright, alright, keep your feathers on…”

“I think you’ve lost the crowd, Cindy Sue.” Poke said.

“She’s lost more than that!” Ramona yelled out as she confidently took control of the situation. She gently pushed Cindy Sue aside and read the piece of paper.

“Fortunately, I’m terrific at reading chicken scratch. Okay, here we go. Welcome friends, today is a day that will go down in history—oh boy!” Ramona stopped talking and shook her head. She eventually started reading again after composing herself. “What you will witness is nothing short of extraordinary. An extravaganza of entertainment that will make you laugh and scream and jump up and down with excitement. It’ll make your heart swell and pump and pull you out of the dumps—oh dear, this is terrible, who wrote this? I can’t even—”

Suddenly Stanley interrupted, yelling out from behind the goat gate. “Read the rest! I can’t wait back here all day, I’m overheating!”

“I’m not reading the rest! I’ll get to the point, is what I’ll do. Introducing, Stanley the almost magnificent!”

Stanley triumphantly walked out to a lackluster reaction from the crowd. He was wearing a cape. Cindy Sue clapped, well, she flapped, and nobody was really sure if it was for Stanley. Cindy Sue was known to flap-clap for no particular reason.

“I really like his cape.” Bruce said.

Betty had questions. “Stanley, what is going on with you? What’s this really all about? A magic show? And Stanley, the almost magnificent?!”

“It’s not just a magic show I’ll have you know. There’s comedy, and tricks, and humorous observations…and there’s…well, there’s no puppets, I don’t like puppets. It’s Stanley, the almost magnificent, because even I know there’s always room for improvement! Why, what’s the problem?!”

“None, no problems, I’m just wondering out loud. I wonder if there’s more to this spectacle than just a magic show, that’s all.” Betty replied.

“So, Stanley, when is this extravagant magical disaster-ama debacle going to take place?” Gideon asked. He then winked at Betty and Bruce, who tried not to encourage Gideon’s behavior, but felt it was a legitimate question.

“Tomorrow night, in the big barn, eight o’clock. Be there and prepare yourselves for something spectacular and unforgettable!”

“Do I have time to moooove out of state?” Mootilda asked with some more sarcasm.

“I feel a baaaa-aaaad headache coming on.” Thelma Sheep quipped.

“It’s going to be a ‘ruff’ night…” Vicky Greyhound snickered.

“And I thought I was the professional heckler…oof.” Gideon added.

“Well, you all think you’re real funny now, just wait till tomorrow night, you’ll see what a real entertainer does!” Stanley shouted and sputtered.

“Are you going to make yourself disappear?” Charles Horse asked.

“Just be there, I’d like your support. And if I can’t get your support, I’ll take your wallets.” Stanley said.

“We don’t carry wallets…” Ramona said.

“Is that a joke? If that’s a joke, we’re in trouble.” Poke remarked.

“Just be there, you silly animals.” Stanley responded.

“I’ll be there, Stanley, I could always use a good laugh.” Maurice said.

“Bruce and I will be there too, supporting you in every way.” Betty told Stanley.

“Yeah, we’ll support you, Stanley.” Bruce agreed.

“Okay, okay, I’ll be there too if it makes you happy. I’m always a sucker for a good laugh. Especially when someone I know goes down in flames!” Gideon added while giving Stanley a thumbs down.

Cindy Sue stepped forward to address the crowd. “I’ll be there too. Now, I just have to know where and when, and what we’re doing.” Cindy Sue was a bit confused. It must have been all the chatter. A lot of words were exchanged, and a lot of plans were arranged. And that never helps Cindy Sue stay focused.

“Don’t worry Cindy Sue, we’ll make sure you get to where you’re going on time.” Betty told her.

Now that the show had been announced, and the friends informed, it was time for a break, so they all went their separate ways. Some of them to their stye, some to their pond, some to their pen, some to their coop, and for a certain few others, it was time for a loop, around the farm, ending up out in the far reaches of the pasture, in the apple orchard. This time out in the field for Bruce and Betty was a bit different because Maurice Mule decided to tag along. Maurice liked apples too. Bruce made sure that he picked out some juicy ones for Maurice who needed to plop down for a rest. It took a lot of energy for Maurice to get from place to place, but having Bruce around made it a bit easier. He was a good helper and friend.

“It’s really nice being back. I missed the other creatures…even the more eccentric ones. They add color to life.”

“Ecc-ec…oh no, now that’s a head-scratcher.” Bruce said.

“Eccentrics—the ones who think differently, Bruce. Sometimes very differently.”

“Oh, right. Different.” Bruce muttered.

“Well, we’re glad you’re back, Maurice. And I agree, the eccentric ones do make it more interesting here.” Betty said.

Bruce walked over and sat down next to Maurice. That didn’t work out very well. He immediately fell over, landing with a thud. “I have a hard time sitting, I’m round back there…”

Since Bruce was already on the ground, he made himself comfortable. Maurice paid no attention; he was too busy enjoying his little slice of heaven- with juicy apples, of course!

Hours later, it turned out to be one of those really dark night skies, lit up by all the twinkling stars. It was so clear you could probably see every planet, Bruce thought. Well, he wished that he could see every planet.

“Betty, how many stars do you think are in that big sky?”

“I don’t know Bruce, too many to count.”

“I’ll bet there’s a majillion fajillion zajillion, or more!”

“Those aren’t real numbers, or real words, Bruce.”

“I know, I had to make new ones up because there’s so many. Too many to count.” Bruce suddenly got quiet and thought for a moment.

“Betty, today you asked Stanley what was going on with him. You asked him what the spectacle was really all about. I think you felt like there was more to the story than just a magic show. What did you mean?”

“I just get the feeling he’s been seeking more and more attention lately. He used to be quirky and different and original, and that was funny and likeable because it’s genuinely who Stanley is. But now, it seems like he has to make everything he does riskier, bigger, and wilder. It all seems like a put-on. Made up. I don’t know what changed. That’s what I meant.”

“Oh, okay. Maybe something happened and he hasn’t told us, so he’s acting out because of it. Is that a possibility?” Bruce asked.

“I think you may be onto something, Bruce. Let’s keep an eye on him and see if we can figure out what’s going on. We don’t want to make him feel bad, or uncomfortable, or anything like that, but we can be concerned friends and help him, if he wants our help.”

“I agree, we’ll be supportive and caring and most of all, just be his friends when he needs us.”

“I’m very proud of you, Bruce, you’ve really grown a lot lately and it shows.”

“Thank you, Betty. I’ve been reading so many books at night when everybody else is asleep. Books like, ‘How to Grow Your Own Vegetables’ and ‘How to Make Organami’—”

Betty interrupted. “Origami?”

“Oh yeah, org—orin—er, paper folding. Another book was called, ‘How to be a Good Friend’ and ‘The Stars and Planets and Other Science-y Stuff’ and then there’s, ‘Snack Time for Tiny Tommy’ which always makes me hungry. And last, but not least, ‘You and Your Silly Goat Friend’ I think that one may be relevant right now. Some nights I read all of them at the same time. A few chapters of one, then a few chapters of another, then a few chapters…well, you get the picture. One night I got confused and I thought I was folding a goat in a garden on Venus, but I was just mixing up chapters.”

“Well, we’ll just keep it simple. We’ll help Stanley if he wants us to.”

“Okay, Betty.”

It was early in the day, of the big night, of the big show, starring Stanley Goat (and his sidekick/professional assistant) Cindy Sue Butternut Squash-Pettigrew. The farm was buzzing with excitement. Well, there was a low voltage hum along with some grumbling’s and detectable murmurs of “Oh boy!” and “Well, this will be something!” and even one “Help us, we’re doomed!” mixed in with the rest of the skeptical chatter from the farm friends. It seems the reviews had already come in and the show hadn’t even started! That didn’t deter Stanley. It’s hard to keep a good goat down, as the saying goes. As the day wore on, and every creature spent their time grazing and napping, and their energy sapping from the thought of a Stanley Goat Production just hours away, the creatures on Three Ponds Sanctuary thought about how they would gently tell Stanley how much his show bombed. Of course, it was possible that it could be a big hit. It was also possible that one day Poke Pig would fly…yeah right!

It was minutes away from showtime and the crowd was gathered in the big barn. The usual crowd was present, and then there were others who rarely mingled with the group. June Loon, who only came out every blue moon looked positively giddy. Charles Horse, was skeptical of course, about the whole entire thing, but attended anyway because he had his eye on a fair mare who was there. The rabbits were all lined up in the front row, still as could be with their blank stare, the one at the end who was larger than the rest may have actually been a hare, but that wasn’t confirmed. All of them came to see the razzle-dazzle of it all, or the mighty big messy fall of Stanley’s extravaganza. Bruce looked around the big barn and whispered to Betty.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen all the farm friends together in one place before.”

“I think you’re right, Bruce.” She responded.

The lights flickered, then Willie snickered, “One minute everybody, one minute!”

It was the final countdown and hearts were fluttering, then Bruce and Betty heard that one voice somewhere in the back of the crowd muttering, “I predict pandemonium, catastrophe, and disaster!” It was Gideon Rat, the thirty third, with a grin on his face. Betty gave him her best ‘mean face’ to warn him. Bruce was more direct. “Oh, look at that hungry owl up there!”

Gideon flattened, flinched, and froze, then looked up above him. He didn’t like the ‘O’ word. Bruce let out a giggle and said, “Be nice, Gideon.”

It was time. The lights went out and when they came back on, there was Cindy Sue Butternut Squash-Pettigrew standing in a spotlight, wearing some sort of getup. There were chiffon parts, and silky parts, and other parts with little pink hearts on them. There were areas with beads and bobbles and shiny trinkets and bits of flash, and even a sash that clashed with everything on her. And then there was the crowning achievement. The flowy-glowy-showy, gigantic head piece that looked like it weighed more than Cindy Sue herself. The crowd gasped, mostly because she looked like she would tip over at any moment. Timber! Cindy Sue was, after all, a frail quail. She began…

“Ladies and gentle friends, welcome to the show! Tonight, we hope to make you laugh and chuckle, maybe even burst your buckle, if you wear a belt…we hope to entertain, but please refrain, from booing…because it upsets Stirling—”

“Stanley!” Someone in the crowd shouted.

“Who?!” Cindy Sue asked.

“Not Stirling, his name is Stanley!” Another voice yelled.

“Oh yes, Stanley!” Cindy Sue corrected herself. She continued, “Now, I know all of you will be supportive and try your very best to show Stanley, the almost magnificent, how much you cherish and adore him for being such a fantastic performer and exceptional entertainer…”

“I see Stanley wrote that part.” Mootilda said. There was a lot of nodding along to that comment.

“Again, thank you all for coming to the show! Without further delay, I give you, Stanley! The almost magnificent!” The two swans named Juan lightly patted the turtles’ shells, giving Stanley a drumroll for his entrance. The curtain fell down behind Cindy Sue, but Stanley was nowhere to be found. Cindy Sue poked around, then stumbled, landing on the ground, so Ramona quickly helped her back up and stuck her in her pail. Then out of nowhere, Stanley suddenly rolled in on a barrel from behind, through a break in the group, taking center stage. The crowd was actually impressed. Stanley spun a few circles then jumped off. “Thank you! Thank you!” he said to the group. So far, so good.

“I just barreled in from across the way, and boy, are my hooves tired! Thank you!” There were more than a few groans from the farm friends. “Wow, tough crowd! Well, I’m Stanley, welcome to the show, how is everybody tonight? Good, good. I hope to tell a few jokes, make you laugh a bit, perform a few tricks, avoid those of you with ticks…thank you!” Stanley looked around the room. “Okay, okay, hold your applause!”

“You there! You with the long face!” Charles Horse realized Stanley was pointing at him.

“Me?” Charles replied.

“Yes, you sir in the back, with the horse teeth. How many horses do you have under the hood? Because with a face like that, you should be wearing a hood…thank you!”

“That’s not really a joke is it, Betty?”

“No, not really, but I thought it was pretty funny. Don’t repeat that.”

“Hey Stanley, unlike Maurice Mule, I still have a kicking leg, so be careful!” Charles Horse shot back.

“I want to thank my wonderful assistant, Cindy Sue, for opening the show tonight. Poor old Cindy Sue, I love her, but sometimes she gets confused about things. Yesterday, I asked her if she ever contracted the bird flu, and she said, “No, I prefer to stay on the ground where it’s safe.” Thank you! Thank you!” There were a few claps and a few groans. “Well, I see that joke didn’t land so well for some of you.”

There was a shout out from the back of the crowd. “How do I get my money back?!”

“Ah, a heckler.” Stanley said. “Maybe I should moooove on, what do you think, Mootilda?”

“No comment…” Mootilda responded.

“I see the turkey’s are here tonight. Remind me to send you a thank you note in late November. Oh wait…” The turkey’s started ruffling their feathers. They looked angry. “Too soon?” Stanley added.

“Well, things are taking a turn.” Poke Pig said.

“I see the pigs are here, be careful everyone, don’t trip over the pile on your way out!”

“That’s a myth about us.” Poke said loudly.

“Was that Poke speaking? Sorry, I didn’t recognize you without the apple in your mouth!” Stanley shot back.

“Stanley…” Betty said, getting worried that the others were at their limit with his insults. Bruce’s little eyes grew in size with nervousness.

“Maybe it’s time for some tricks!” Ramona said, trying to change the tone of the evening. Stanley wasn’t finished though.

“What did the sheep say after they made it through Easter? Well, that was a close shave! I’ve got a million of these!” Stanley shouted while being whisked away by Ramona and Willie, as the angry sheep started to surround him. Cindy Sue followed them out, pushing the barrel as best she could. She struggled as usual. She was a frail quail.

Stanley finished his show about twenty minutes later, to a smaller crowd. Just the turtles. Everyone else went elsewhere to reflect on the events of the day. They had a lot to say.

Bruce and Betty, along with Dolly Llama, Mootilda Cow, Charles Horse, and Poke Pig huddled together, wondering aloud about the events that took place in the big barn. Stanley was a lot of things. He was a unique, silly goat, with an unusual character, but he wasn’t mean and spiteful as a rule. He had his strange ways, but he never tried to be hurtful on purpose. Betty felt very strongly that there was a reason Stanley was acting in such a specific way.

“Well, that could have gone better!” Mootilda said.

“Hood over my face?!” Charles groused.

“Apple in my mouth!” Poke chimed in.

“He didn’t say anything about me. Do you think maybe he doesn’t like me?” Dolly asked.

“That’s not really the main point, Dolly.” Betty replied.

“I wouldn’t mind an apple in my mouth right about now.” Bruce added.

“Bruce!” Everyone shouted in unison.

“As I said before, I think there’s something else going on with Stanley. He seems to want more attention than usual, even if it’s negative attention.”

“So, what changed?” Charles asked.

“Let’s think back. When did his behavior change?” Poke asked the group.

“I remember, it was just after Rascal Skunk arrived. He began to seek more and more attention, in any way he could. It was around that time he started yelling, ‘make way for the milky way’ as I walked by.” Mootilda said.

“That’s right, now that I think about it.” Betty added.

“He’s jealous…” A voice out of nowhere said. The creatures looked around them, finally spotting Gideon sitting on top of a wheelbarrow. He blended easily.

“Jealous?” Charles asked.

“Yeah, jealous. Ever since that cute little skunk arrived and everybody went ga-ga over him, he’s been acting out, trying to get everyone to pay attention to him. It’s not rocket science. Haven’t any of you noticed?” Gideon said as he scratched the back of his neck with one hand and ate a small piece of cracker with the other.

“Well, I’ve noticed a change, but I didn’t make the connection until now.” Betty said.

“I noticed…” Dolly said confidently.

“No, you didn’t.” Mootilda responded forcefully.

“You’re right, I didn’t.” Dolly said, embarrassed.

“I don’t know what he has to be jealous about, Rascal is just a skunk.” Poke said.

“He’s not just a skunk, he’s a new toy…” Gideon responded.

“A new toy?!” Matilda asked.

“Yeah, sort of. You don’t see things around here the way I do. I watch you all from the cheap seats. I see a lot that goes on because I’m not so close to the action like you guys.”

“The cheap seats?” Bruce asked, confused. Dolly Llama didn’t have to ask, the look on her face showed that she was confused. She usually had that look, but it was more intense when she was actually confused.

“It means he observes things going on around here from a distance.” Betty explained.

“Oh, okay, now I understand.” Bruce said. Dolly nodded in agreement, probably still not understanding.

Betty continued, “Gideon doesn’t literally mean that Rascal is a new toy. He means that Rascal came to us, and everybody got excited about the newest member, and talked about how cute and adorable he was, like when a child gets a new toy. He was like the new, shiny object getting all the attention, and all of us stopped noticing Stanley, so he had to figure out a way to get that attention back. So, Stanley acted out with his stunts and tricks and even his insults, to get us to notice him again. It didn’t matter if it was positive, or negative attention, it was attention.”

“So, I guess the question is, what do we do now?” Charles asked.

“I think we should go give him a piece of our mind!” Dolly said.

“I don’t think that’s the right approach to be honest.” Mootilda answered.

“Neither do I.” Betty agreed.

Just as the group went quiet, Ramona Hen and Willie showed up to help address the Stanley situation. Ramona could generally be counted on for her common sense and forthrightness in these matters.

“Ramona, what do you think we should do about Stanley?” Mootilda asked.

“I’d like to peck some sense into that goat right now!” She fired back.

“Peck. Sense. Goat.” Willie repeated.

“Well, other than that, since that would be wrong.” Betty said.

“I know, I know, but sheesh, he can be a real pain sometimes!”

“We were discussing our theory as to why Stanley has been acting up lately, and we’ve come to the conclusion that maybe it has something to do with jealousy—specifically about Rascal, since it began just after he arrived. What are your thoughts?” Charles asked.

“Sounds plausible…” Ramona responded.

“Plausible.” Willie added.

Ramona continued, “I’m no expert in these matters, but I do understand his feelings of suddenly not being the center of attention. I had a younger sister who came along much later after my arrival into this world. I watched as my mother tended to her day after day, keeping her warm and safe. Well, I began to think I didn’t matter anymore, and it hurt my feelings. I have to admit, I was jealous. I didn’t know until much later that those feelings were normal, and that my mother was taking care of her just like she took care of me. It had nothing to do with how much my mother valued me, she was just doing what was best for my sister at the time. Well, one day the egg hatched, and my sister popped out and I realized how lucky I was. I was extremely happy with the outcome, not jealous.”

“Oh, that’s a nice story. Everything worked out in the end.” Dolly said, with a tear in her eye.

Ramona responded, “It did, because when she came out, she looked terrible! I had no reason to be jealous after all! Have you every seen a chicken who looks like it just went through a car wash, a windstorm, a haunted house, a run across a busy highway, and a rollercoaster ride in the space of an hour?! That’s what she looked like, so I had nothing to worry about.”

“That story did not go how I thought it would.” Bruce whispered to Betty.

“Haunted house…” Willie shuddered, staring straight ahead.

“Well, I think we can take something from that story and use it to help Stanley. Everything but the ending, anyway.” Betty said.

“That story wasn’t what it was all cracked up to be…” Mootilda said.

It had been a few days since the ’Stanley, the almost magnificent’ show ended, giving everyone a cooling down and cooling off period. Bruce and Betty decided it was time to have a talk with Stanley, who had barely been seen since the fateful night in the big barn. It took a little time, but Betty managed to coax him out of the small building and into the goat pen.

“Stanley, we wanted to talk to you about the other night, if that’s okay.”

“Are you still mad at me like the others?” He asked.

“We’re not mad, and I don’t think the others are either…not anymore anyway.” Betty said.

“Did you like the show?” Stanley asked.

“Well, up to a certain point.”

Bruce added, “I liked your cape…” Bruce was trying to be helpful and keep the conversation positive.

“Where do you think things went wrong?” Stanley asked.

“Pretty much right away, like right about the time you started insulting some of us. That was the point where things went a little bit off the rails.”

“I thought I’d start with roasting the group, you know, to break the ice. Everyone seemed so tense. I had a really good joke aimed at Mootilda…something about a rump roast…but by that time…well, you know what happened, you were there.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that would have been appropriate, Stanley.”

“I guess not. Now everyone hates me.”

“Nobody hates you, Stanley.” Bruce said.

“We just want to know what’s going on with you, that’s all.” Betty added.

“What do you mean?”

Betty hopped off Bruce’s antler and onto a fencepost to be closer to Stanley. “I mean, why have you been acting out lately? Talk to us, we’re your friends, you can tell us anything.”

“Yeah, you can tell us anything. Like, what’s your favorite color? Or can you even see colors? Or do you have snacks? And if you do have snacks, what kind of snacks do you have? Those are interesting topics.” Bruce said.

“That’s not exactly what I meant, Bruce.”

“Sorry…”

Betty continued, “Stanley, here’s what I think, and others agree. I think you’re a bit jealous of Rascal, and you needed to get some attention back on to you. What do you think about that?”

“What do I think about that?!” Stanley sputtered and shouted. “What do I think?! I think that’s a lot of hooey! I also say, phooey! And other words that rhyme with those! Me?! Jealous of a little stinker like Rascal?! I never!”

“Okay, so you don’t have any problem with the rest of us saying things like, ‘he’s so adorable and cute’ and stuff along those lines, right?” Bruce asked.

Stanley shrugged. “Now why would a gifted and talented and hilarious, silly goat like me, be jealous of a smelly little rodent like him? I mean, I am the original adorable and cute and funny creature of Three Ponds Sanctuary, and everyone knows it. When I arrived here, Little Teddy said, and I quote, “him funny, him cute.” I think that says it all. I rest my case!”

“He did say that…I remember.” Bruce responded.

“So, this has nothing to do with Rascal? You’re fine with the attention he gets?” Betty asked.

“I’m—fine with him being around…”

“That’s not really an answer to the question.”

“Well, maybe he gets on my nerves occasionally, but I’ll live with it.”

“And? What else?” Betty asked.

“I think he should stop crinkling his nose!”

“Crinkling his nose?”

“Yes, you know how he crinkles it and then it bounces around when he sniffs, well, that is cuteness overload, and I don’t like it!”

“Okay, what else?”

“His tail…”

“His tail?”

“Yes, it goes straight up and fans out, and then he stomps. His little paws stomp around. It’s adorable, and I don’t like that either.”

“It sounds like you don’t want him to act like a skunk, even though he’s a skunk…” Bruce said.

“Right, that’s right. Can you make that happen?” Stanley asked.

“Well, no, Stanley. We can’t make that happen. He is who he is. Just like you are, who you are.” Betty responded.

“Why not? Can’t you stop him from being so cute and adorable so everyone will like me better?”

“That’s not how life works. You can’t stop anyone from being themselves. You can’t make anyone here like you better than any other creature either.”

“Why? I was here first.” Stanley said.

“Well, Bruce was here before you, would you want everyone to like him better based on that criteria?”

“But Bruce isn’t cute and adorable the way I am…and Rascal is, so it doesn’t really matter.”

Bruce looked confused. “Is that one of your insult jokes?”

“I just mean that you’re big and likeable, but you aren’t thought of as cute and adorable and cuddly like some of us, that’s all.” Stanley responded.

“Okay, let’s back up a little.” Betty said.

Bruce took a few steps back and took a few deep breaths.

“I didn’t mean literally, Bruce. Now, Stanley, let’s get something cleared up, you will always be cute and adorable and funny no matter what anybody says, that’s who you were when you arrived here, and who you are now, but you’ve let jealousy or pride or whatever you’re feeling take control, and that’s not you. You don’t need to prove you are all of those things, it comes naturally to you. You don’t have to perform whacky stunts, or dress up and dazzle everyone with comedy, or insults, for anyone to see you, or appreciate you. That’s not who you are either. You can’t just say, ‘prest-o-chang-o’ and think that’s going to make people like you. They like you because of your authenticity. Because they understand your certain charm. They like you because you make them happy by being yourself. It doesn’t matter how anyone feels about Rascal, because that doesn’t take away how they feel about you.”

“I just want to go on the record that I agree with Betty. I also want to go on the record as having first dibs on your cape if you don’t want it anymore.” Bruce added.

“Well, thank you for saying all those kind things. I am really sorry I’ve been acting like a jerk and a fool. I guess I was jealous. I hope everyone forgives me. I suppose I’ll have to go apologize to everyone, and eat some crow—oh, sorry Betty.”

“It’s okay, Stanley, I understand it’s just a saying.”

“If I was still doing a comedy show, I could put that in, but I’m not doing anymore comedy shows…at least for now.”

“If you do, we’ll help you with some appropriate jokes, how about that?” Betty said.

“Okay. Sorry Bruce, I think I’m going to hold onto my cape for now. Just in case.”

“Understood.” Bruce replied.

“Well, I better get to it and make the rounds. I’ll call it my, ’Stanley the almost magnificent apology tour’ with a gaggle of guest stars…how does that sound?”

“Awful.” Bruce and Betty said together. Then Bruce added, “You should apologize for that too!”

Stanley stuck out his tongue and walked away.

It was dusk and Bruce and Betty were just outside the big barn doors admiring the view of the farm. It was quiet and peaceful and everything was good.

“Betty, what is something that you’re thankful for today?” Bruce asked.

Betty flapped and squawked and bounced several times. “I’m thankful that I have friends. Friends that make mistakes.”

“Friends that make mistakes?” Bruce asked, surprised.

“Oh yes. If we didn’t make mistakes, we wouldn’t be normal and alive and feeling. And we wouldn’t be able to help our friends who make mistakes, if that’s what they wanted. We wouldn’t learn to solve problems if we didn’t make mistakes. Imagine if every creature on this farm was perfect and did everything perfectly. What would we talk about? What would we disagree about? What would we work on? We certainly wouldn’t learn to be better than we are, right?”

“That’s true. We’d never have any reason to come up with ideas to help ourselves. If we didn’t make mistakes, we would be so boring.”

“Yep. What are you thankful for today, Bruce?”

“Well, all of those things that you said, plus a few others. I’m thankful that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. I know that’s not a big deal to some, but I learned that from a book, which I’m also thankful for. I’m thankful that sometimes I’m timid and skittish because it’s okay to be those things once in a while. You don’t always have to be brave and confident, it’s not a requirement. Let’s see, I’m also thankful that Stanley isn’t giving up his cape just yet even though I would like to have it. It means he’s not giving up being a silly character, and I like that about him. I’m happy and thankful that I’m here at Three Ponds and that I get to be friends with you and Mootilda and Charles and Dolly and Cindy Sue and the rest…especially Stanley, because he tries everything and even when he fails, he keeps trying and that inspires me. Those are some of the things I’m thankful for today.”

“Those are some good ones, Bruce.”

“Anything else before we go in for the night?” Betty asked.

“Just one. I’ve been wondering, do you think bee’s wonder why everybody despises them? I mean, if everybody was always running from me or swatting me away, I’d think they didn’t like me either.”

“That’s a good question, Bruce. We’ll have to think about that some more.” Betty answered, then yawned.

Bruce and Betty walked into the big barn. As Bruce got to his stall he noticed something hanging on a hook next to the door. And there it was, big and flowy and bright, with his name on it. A cape. For special occasions, or any old reason. From all his friends, because that’s what really matters. Having friends…and a cape.