1 ||The Idea Of Her ||
Have you ever wondered how perfect your life is? Where everything seems to line up, your life is Ideal, and things make sense, and it’s like nothing can go wrong?
I’ve always been the one with the plan. Every step I’ve taken, and every decision I’ve made, has all been carefully thought out and perfectly aligned with the life I envisioned for myself. A life without chaos. Just order, precision, and control.
Turab has been by my side for six years. Six solid, stable years where we’ve grown together, supported each other and built a relationship that anyone would call perfect. He’s everything I could ask for—kind, dependable, my best friend, and utterly in sync with my imagination of our shared future our wedding is supposed to be the final piece of the puzzle, the moment when everything falls into place.
I’ve always known I loved him—loved him enough to fight for us, even when my parents opposed our relationship because of our religious differences. It took time, tears, and countless arguments, but eventually, they agreed. Our wedding would be an interfaith union, a symbol of the strength of our love and our commitment to each other despite the odds. It felt like a victory, proof that what we had was real, strong enough to withstand anything.
The flowers, the venue, the music—it all reflects who we are, and what we’ve built together. I love him, I’ve always told myself that. And isn’t that enough? Love should be enough right?
I looked around and saw the happy faces of people. I dragged my feet, but the beige carpet aisle felt never-ending. The music still played in the background. I smiled at everyone who met my eyes. I smiled and tried to hide the pain building up in my heart.
This wedding—MY WEDDING—was a reminder of Her. The one person who showed me the true meaning of love and the real meaning of life. Her, the person who arranged everything in this perfect moment. The one who made everything here seem magically perfect—well, almost perfect. At last, what seemed like forever ended as I sat beside the man I knew I would always love, even if not in the most romantic way I could think of. Someone already had me and would always have my whole heart.
Turab smiled, his eyes looking magnificent, happiness evident in his whole being. We decided to have the Nikkah first and Pheras later. My mind was nowhere near this event. My heart squeezed tightly inside my chest. My eyes stung from the controlled tears I didn’t want to escape. This was what I chose, so there was no turning back, no crying, no anything.
I felt a nudge on my side, so I looked up and saw a questioning look on Mama’s face. She gestured for me to answer the Qazi.
And then, sitting here beside Turab, the moment I’d been planning for so long, it hit me. The Qazi’s voice seemed to echo in a dream, “In the presence of God and in front of all these witnesses do you accept this proposal of marriage, do you take Turab Heider as your husband, and do you promise to love Turab to be by his side through thick and thin to treat him with fairness and to honor him as your husband for the rest of your life?”
In that split second, as everyone waited for me to speak, memories crashed over me like a wave. Not memories of Turab and mine, but of that one person her.
She was the one who had slipped past my defenses, the one who had made me question everything I thought I knew about love, about myself. The one who had shown me what it really meant to be alive, to feel something so intense it scared me.
How did I let this happen? How did I fall in love with someone else just a month before my own wedding? How can I stand here, in front of all these people, and commit myself to a life I’m no longer sure I want?
Suddenly, her face flashed in my mind—the way she tossed her hair, the way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she scrunched up her nose, the way she pouted, and the way she looked at me. That’s when my thoughts drifted all the way back to the first day I met her.
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Hey LOVELIES,
Song for This Chapter: The Idea Of Her By Ali Gatie
hope you liked it.
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