Angelica

Everyone at the party was becoming drunk and disorderly, my girlfriend included. Shelly was about two sheets to the wind and becoming so obnoxious that I walked away from her as she was pawning over the geeky guy standing all alone in the corner of the room. I felt bad for doing that to him, but I needed to escape from her, and he was the perfect solution.

I rambled out to the kitchen, where the back door had become a revolving turnstile for partygoers. I was trying my best to ignore the ones coming and going until SHE came in. That’s when IT happened. The magic. Now I certainly don’t proclaim to be a ladies’ man, but I have had my share of girlfriends, both long-term and otherwise, but that moment that our eyes met was definitely magical. I knew that she felt it too because when her girlfriend, whom she came in with, coaxed her to go to the main gathering area, she hesitated. We just stood there gazing into each other’s eyes. She slowly approached me, and my hands started to shake. I couldn’t explain why, maybe it was the halo that glowed around her head. She was heavenly.

She waved off her friend and stood directly in front of me. Neither of us said a word for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, I worked up enough nerve to ask her name.

“What do I call you?”

“As long as you tell me that you’re not like all the other male pigs who can’t see past my boobs, you can call me anything you like. But my name is Angelica.”

“I knew it. The minute you walked through the door and I laid eyes on you, I knew you were an angel sent from heaven.”

“Oh, cut the crap,” she said. “You don’t think I’ve heard all that BS before? You are far from original.”

“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry. It’s not bullshit, I truly think you are the most…oh, never mind. You wouldn’t believe me anyway.”

Crushed beyond belief, I hung my head and walked away. Shelly, whom I had left leaning against the dork, was now passed out cold. The dorky guy giggled and said, “I guess neither of us are getting any tonight, huh, dude?”

I just glared at him. It wasn’t like he ever stood a chance anyway, but he was right, I wasn’t either. I am not into sex with a passed-out woman, even if it is my girlfriend. But it was time to get her away from the party and let her sleep it off.