Prologue
I wander painfully, my eyes misty with tears, painting a desolate landscape ravaged by a breath of violence and chaos. The city that saw me born, that saw me grow up, the guardian of my first emotions and the memories of my entire life, the one where my child let out their first cry, is no more. Once so warm and welcoming, it is now nothing but coldness and ruin. The old buildings that reassured me, giving me a deep sense of security due to their robustness and longevity, are now nothing but a pile of shapeless rocks.
The flow of my tears intensifies as I see these unknowns, horrifically mutilated, exhale their last breath as a release from their torment, leaving behind their horrifically mutilated bodies, the only testament to the violence of the tortures they endured. I quickly wipe away my tears as I walk down the street. The smoke from the last braziers blurs, in half-light, the reality of the horrific spectacle that has just unfolded.
— It's my fault, I failed, I murmured as I moved forward between two sobs.
The surrounding silence terrifies me, no one answers me, no encouragement, no mockery, even the echo seems absent.
Am I alone now? I think.
This idea causes a tremor throughout my entire being. I continue to move forward with the ultimate hope of finding my loved ones safe and sound. My uncertain steps, which I struggle to take, make me stumble repeatedly over rubble or corpses. I cry while closing the eyes of those I have known, those who knew me. I hold their lifeless body against me one last time.
— Forgive me! I shouted as I extinguished them and rocked them.
I look at the sky to find a breath of fresh air, but it does not grant me my wish. Himself asphyxiated by gray clouds soaked with the fumes of this catastrophe, leaving me to see only his slow agony. Lightning bolts tear through his serenity from all sides, expressing his suffering with the dull growl of thunder.
I must hurry, in my ascent, these scenes of horror continue to play their grim comedy, gradually diminishing my hopes. I run clumsily, despite my injuries, through the fields of ruins. The further I progress towards them, the more the streets and buildings are ravaged, giving me the feeling that I should have stayed by their side, that I should have been with them to protect them.
The denouement of this tragic play unfolds before me as I arrive at my shattered home, completely annihilated. I don't have to search long for my own. Their bodies are displayed like trophies for all to see. I first discover my friends hanging, their cold and rigid bodies dangling at the end of the rope that took their lives. My father and my brother, as if to denounce their faith, are crucified, bearing the stigmata.
Breathless, my body trembling, I delve even deeper into these ruins to discover my husband lying amidst the rubble. His body seems to have been torn apart by animals. His cold corpse twists my stomach. I collapse beside him, unable to fight anymore. My sobs spill onto my cheeks, ending their flow on the disfigured face of the man I love. I hold him close to me, screaming all my sorrow with these questions that pound in my mind:
Why? Was it me he wanted? Why take it out on them? I curse them inwardly.
The mist surrounding my home fades away. A dark mass catches my attention, my maternal instinct goes into a frenzy, I squint to determine what this veil of smoke is hiding from me. By pure reflex, I head towards this mysterious shadow, gently releasing my partner's corpse. Under this veil lies the highlight of the show, my child completely skinned, barely recognizable, nailed to an upside-down cross. An unsettling silence reigns, only the drops of his blood falling into the pool of hemoglobin flooding the ground resonate in my ears.
I collapse to my knees in front of this monstrous scene, feeling a sharp pain in my heart as if it had just been ripped out. My strength abandons me, my will fades as my guilt increases. No more cries escape my mouth, my wide-open eyes do not leave the remains of this being who was the flesh of my flesh, the fruit of all the love that united me with my husband.
Without them, what am I going to do? I thought.
My fighting spirit gradually fades, I become a rag devoid of any emotion. My fight ends here, I give up, I want only one thing: to die to be with them.
— There you are at last, I hear behind me.
This voice that I once hated so much no longer stirs anything in me. Two hideous creatures grab my shoulders and lift me up. I don't resist, I let them carry me away. My gaze anchored on the body of my child who is moving away.
My tears flow freely. I no longer hide anything, everything is lost, everything is over.
— You will join them, but first,... we will play with you! my captor rejoiced, hitting me violently in the face.
I instantly lose consciousness, plunging myself into an abyss of questions.
When did everything go wrong? What did I not do correctly? Was it a fight lost from the start?
I know what awaits me now, a slow and painful death. Despite the pain it causes me, I can no longer prevent my memories from resurfacing, piercing my heart like sharp blades of cruelty.
