Chapter 1: The Mission to Crostazia 9
The Great Mystery of the Galactic Pizza
The planet Crostazia 9 was… peculiar. A place where the plants seemed to have opinions and the trees swayed to the rhythm of a music that no one could hear. The forests were so thick that every now and then an explorer would enter and leave twenty years later, in his pajamas, convinced he had only taken a five-minute walk. The grass was a fluorescent yellow, the rivers flowed backwards and, for some reason, the wind smelled red.
Yet, in the midst of this natural chaos, there was an even greater mystery.
Legends spoke of an ancient civilization, the Sgagoli, a very advanced but slightly stupid people, who disappeared without a trace. Some claimed they had discovered the secret of immortality, others said they had simply remained stuck in a huge interdimensional sofa from which they had never managed to get out.
To solve this puzzle, a team of seven explorers completely unsuitable for the mission was sent to the planet.
They were chosen not for their skills, but because the space agency had printed the names on the tickets wrong and it was too late to change crew.
Here is the team:
1. Professor Ugo Paradossi, an expert on ancient civilizations but convinced that dinosaurs were still alive and ran a McDonald's on Pluto.
2. Vanda Copernica, an expert pilot with a severe allergy to gravity and bicycles.
3. Flora Bacillo, a botanist who spoke to plants... but about philosophical and... sometimes... erotic subjects.
4. Ernesto Bolide, an engineer who understood nothing about technology and solved every problem with tape, gunpowder and his screams.
5. Ettore Fibonacci, a linguist who could translate any language but was unfortunately deaf and dumb.
6. Ada Flapjak, a very fast explorer but only when she was running away from her responsibilities or because of diarrhea.
7. Rodolfo Spintone, the ship's cook, capable of cooking any plant, any food and any object in various ways.
The mission was clear: to find out what had happened to the Sgagoli and why they had left behind a huge stone pizza in the middle of the jungle, a mysterious monolith decorated with ingredients and symbols engraved as if it were a sort of cosmic recipe.
Perhaps, the truth was more absurd than anyone could have imagined…
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