Guilty as Charged

Guilty as Charged

By

Lily Finch

Catherine and Scott stroll daily among their evergreens. Their figures bask in the sun’s rays. The unspoken threat, a shadow hanging over them for years, finally lifted, leaving a chilling emptiness in its wake. They enjoy life now, filled with the laughter of their grandchildren after raising two sons. Years of silence between Leslie and Catherine ended when Leslie reached out and asked to communicate with her again. Years of separation ended as they rebuilt their close friendship, working together to ensure its longevity. The feeling of reconnection was palpable. They reconciled their differences from when they lived on Waglisla Island, and their marriage took a break for three years, and they are both filled with relief and joy now. After their breakup, Scott remained silent and hasn’t spoken to Leslie since. He may still have feelings for her. A chill seeped into my bones as the passionate fire in their eyes twisted into something dangerous and vengeful, my constructed argument crumbling. His emotions originated from our August 1997 meeting, when Leslie began teaching on a First Nation’s Reserve on a coastal island in Northern British Columbia. In Waglisla, their affair started not long after they met, where Leslie and Scott could foster their growth of love without the distraction of the outside world.

The small reserve was the backdrop to Scott, Leslie, and Catherine’s daily lives. Immature eagles soared, teachers bustled, students laughed, and music blended with nature, connecting everyone. Scott, the high school principal, and his partner, Catherine, hosted the event.

The celebration proceeded without problems, and Leslie brought her husband, David, and their baby, Mars, to attend. Leslie enjoyed hours of fun and formed close bonds in one night. Lifelong friendships and alliances resulted from that night.

Twenty-eight-year-old pregnant Leslie spoke with every partygoer at the party. With a sigh, Leslie left the living room and walked onto the creaky back porch, birds chirping a cheerful welcome, and Scott following close behind. Unbeknownst to Leslie, David wanted to go home. He pacified Leslie’s pleasant party time and took their one-year-old with him when he left for home. But not before he made a stink about it in front of all their potential new friends.

David implied her presence was more desired than his before his departure. Despite Leslie being her usual bubbly self, David took offence at all the attention she received from other people, especially the men.

Crimson-faced and drenched in sweat, Leslie became the centre of attention.

“‌David?” Leslie gasped. What’s up?”

David turned and said, “I’m not blind. You know.”

Leslie questioned, “What? Blind? To what? With my hands on my hips, I projected defiance and confidence.

“Enough, Leslie! You know what? You captivate every person you meet,” David screamed at her. “I saw you in action tonight.”

“David, I can’t believe you! You’re mad! You need to go home. Bye.”

Leslie realized the partygoers they just met were all watching them, but what could she do?

None of them knew about David and her before Waglisla. She burned with rage over the Vancouver betrayal. But now that they were on the island, he couldn’t do that anymore, so he focused on Leslie’s every move. Before leaving for Waglisla, pregnant Leslie cried in her doctor’s office. Trapped and alone, she felt being pregnant with another child from David was suffocating. A frantic, silent scream tore at her throat, leaving her breathless and grasping at the void. She hated him. But a commitment was just that; a promise. She made one when they married. She was determined to make it work.

With everyone looking at Leslie, she declared, “I’m clueless about his ramblings. It’s his problem, not mine, though. He never likes it when I have fun and people swarm me to talk and get to know me better.” Everyone at the party clapped and laughed as Leslie bowed.

Leslie’s acting depicted a clear sky and a gentle breeze as she received applause. A loud laugh escaped Leslie’s lips as she threw her hands into the air. Leslie’s cue prompted more laughter from everyone. She knew David wasn’t home yet and heard it all. Her arrival home promised trouble. Her fists clenched; the image of his ambush fueled a fury of worry within me. The weight of that knowledge pressed down on her, a familiar ache.

“I don’t know what’s with him, but it was time for him to go home, anyway.”

“Don’t worry about it, Leslie; enjoy yourself and forget about it,” Scott said. Then he took her to the kitchen.

That’s when Scott gathered Leslie’s marriage wasn’t ideal. Regardless of Leslie’s husband’s remarks, David was not friendly. Leslie entered the kitchen to converse with Catherine. She and Jamie, one of her workmates, talked. Scott joined Leslie, who looked out the back window from their kitchen to the backyard.

“When I go home, he’ll be waiting for me. Lord knows what he’ll do to me. This is especially true given that he has heard everyone’s laughter and applause. “He’ll figure out he was the punchline,” I said, a smirk playing on my lips. It just came out of me like I had known Scott my whole life.

“What? Does he hurt you? What do you mean?” Scott pulled me into their weight room. He made it sound like he wanted to show me their weights.

“He scares me. He smashes things around my head and throws items at me. He yells at me. He occasionally makes crude remarks, which, I believe, are his way of expressing frustration.”

“That’s not right. It doesn’t matter what you and he go through. He shouldn’t make those kinds of comments to you or throw things at you. Don’t put up with that. You are better than that.”

They rejoined the party and enjoyed the rest of their evening. When she left for home, Scott said. “If he’s awake, just walk back out. I’ll be awake. You can come here. No problem.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that. But he would never let me leave.” Leslie said.

When she arrived home, David had packed his bag and was on his way to the boat. Scott watched him leave. He came out of his house and knocked on her door. The light offered no comfort as she stumbled to the door, her desperate hope a fragile flame against the darkness. He saw her tears. He hugged her. She closed the door.

“Thanks, I feel better,” Leslie said. “You didn’t need to come over. I’m fine.”

“Yeah, I better get back. Catherine is probably waiting for me.” He turned and left.

She switched off the light and went to bed.

They later met before school started and attended the same social events. David’s attendance had been sporadic since he remained on the boat. With a heavy sigh, Scott confessed to Leslie that his marriage to Catherine had disintegrated; five years of tension and unspoken resentments had pulverized their connection, leaving an irreparable rift. Leslie and Catherine went for long walks, and Catherine admitted the same, stating, “I can’t take it anymore.”

“What can’t you take anymore?” Leslie asked.

“His controlling ways,” she said.

“Tell him and work it out. You two have been married too long to let your marriage go sour now,” Leslie offered. She was powerless to assist with getting their marriage back on track. She observed Catherine’s flirtatious smiles, aimed at Jamie.

Not long after that admission, Scott appeared at every place Leslie visited.

However, the day he accompanied her to school on a Sunday marked the culmination of events. As they embarked on their adventure, each step marked a leap into the vibrant unknown; excitement bubbled within them. David had accused Leslie of having an affair with Scott since the night of the party, the day of their first mixer—which was not true. Catherine confronted Scott about being attracted to Leslie and spending more time with her than with Catherine. He didn’t deny it. His response was, “So what?”

“Hi, Scott. You have paperwork to do? No rest for the wicked,” Leslie said when Scott joined her at the school fifteen minutes after she arrived.

“Yeah, I didn’t know anyone else was here,” Scott said.

They worked in silence for ten minutes. Leslie saw Scott staring at her and not doing much work.

“Is everything okay? May I help you with anything?” Leslie asked.

“No, I just wondered what you’re working on.”

“Oh, first period, we’re going out onto the lawn to learn our lesson outside.”

“Cool. What kind of lesson is it?”

“Sensory poetry and imagery poetry.”

“Maybe I’ll come by and check it out.”

“Yeah, sure. By all means, please join us. --- Say, would you be interested in helping me create an orienteering course?”

“You bet. Where and when?”

“Near the bog, off-road; timing uncertain. I’ll get back to you on that one.”

“Neat idea.”

“Thanks. Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you something,” Leslie said. “David is upset with me and you. He says you like me more than just a friend. He says he can see it clear as the nose on your face.”

His face went red. “And what do you say? Think there’s truth to that?”

“I’m not sure. I hadn’t noticed.”

“Well, David isn’t wrong. I value you beyond friendship. My preference leans heavily toward you. That’s how it’s been since I met you that night in our house.”

Leslie left her seat; Scott followed suit. Later that month, they embraced and kissed at work. Scott trailed behind her on her way to school. She asked him about his feelings for her. His face flushed crimson as he confessed.

Leslie encouraged their relationship and pursued his attention because Scott’s feelings for her were so strong. She couldn’t resist. Their school and weekend dates were unconcealed, and neither seemed to mind.

David yelled and abused Leslie. Accused of having an affair, she seized the chance to engage in a genuine one when it presented itself. She felt a wave of shame and the weight of her actions. They were heavy on her soul. She wasn’t that person. The unfairness of the accusation burned in her chest as she pondered, “Why not?” Everyone whispers it, thinks it, and believes it to be true. And that is how she proceeded.

Years later, Scott still has a problem with her and won’t budge on his stance. He benefited from remaining in the community to defend himself and spread malicious rumours about Leslie after her maternity leave started. For five years, the close-knit community got to know Scott. Their shared history fostered a deep-seated trust that accepted his story. Catherine also experienced this advantage with him. Scott manipulated her with his lies, and, as a result, ​​she took him back.

Before Leslie contacted Scott and Catherine again, the puppet master’s sinister image, an unsettling grin and piercing gaze, haunted her thoughts. A relieved smile touched her face as she thought of Scott, now just a distant memory.

He insisted Leslie comply with his wishes, and she did. She knew she could destroy him as he started their lovers’ quest to pursue her. Someone should have exposed Scott’s dishonesty and manipulation. Placing Leslie in that predicament was a mistake. She knew that Scott, her boss, controlled her letters of reference, her romance with him, and her career in British Columbia. The air grew thick, pressing down on her chest, a suffocating weight that amplified her claustrophobia.

Although independent to a degree, she remained guilty as charged for the affair. But she didn’t go into it with her eyes wide open.

Years later, Leslie told her counsellor, “The metaphor suggests that human nature is to see what’s out there and reach for the person who caught someone’s eye. People are like Leslie thinks of when she thinks of elements in weather.”

The counsellor asked, “Why? Because they change ‌and attack without warning?”

“Leslie’s narrative unfolded thus. Two well-adjusted, non-content spouses became captivated by each other because of unmet needs within their marriages. Both parties wronged their spouse when they entered an extramarital affair with each other.”

“What about the distance between Leslie’s home base and Scott’s home base? Did either of them consider that?”

“Distance separated their home provinces: the lush greenery of Ontario and the rugged coastline of British Columbia. Each unique vista fueled their ambitions, painting a vibrant tapestry of exciting possibilities across the land. Just listen to their conversations, she recalled to her.”

“I’ll see you when the summer comes around,” Scott said.

“Okay, that way you could meet my family,” Leslie said.

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

“Then I’ll return for six weeks while I study at Royal Roads. Maybe we can see each other then since your parents live nearby.”

“You bet.”

“You see, doc? Their positive relationship ended because of his selfish actions.

“Okay, what did she want from him? To be with him?”

Leslie continued, “Two young children from a previous marriage clung to Leslie, their single mother. Scott and his wife also had a child. Tugging at his tie, he mirrored the emptiness in his heart; his gaze was vacant. The reason for his departure from Leslie caused a rift among everyone, leading to a separation of belongings. The counsellor had to know.

He announced he had a job offer in the far north, and her thoughts didn’t matter to him—he was northbound, no matter what. She told him their friendship was over. He had planned an escape route all along that didn’t include her. He left and cut off all contact, leaving her without a forwarding address, phone number, or any other way to reach him.”

“Oh my, how did she get through it? I wonder? The counsellor’s wisdom and guidance soothed Leslie..

“Her heart broke, and her ears were in disbelief; her body burned hot, and then an ice sensation covered her where the burn had been. He punched her in the gut because her lungs had no air left in them with his news. The death of her love ripped a hole in her soul, a void filled with grief, leaving her heart numb. A piece of her soul, a whisper of her being, faded into the endless expanse of the universe, gone. She grieved for him, and today in her life it remains unresolved for her since he gave no reason for his decision. Not one. He chose; case closed. Her head was full of puffed air, and her disbelief at what he had done overwhelmed her.”

“What prompted his choice to be cold with her at the end? I’m saying this to help,” the counsellor stated, calm and reassuring.

“His parents reinforced that daily, and his father was a big proponent of him leaving Leslie and returning to Catherine.”

“He’s an only child? The counsellor’s tone was demanding as she asked for more information.

“Catherine stayed with his parents, and Scott found himself in a fortunate position to move forward with no problem of reuniting. He used his charm to win Catherine over and stay in her life. He felt a sense of peace knowing that she would offer unwavering support, her presence a balm to his soul during reconciliation. They were together again, and stronger for it. The controlling Scott hadn’t changed one bit. He skillfully played on the affections of two intelligent women, weaving a tangled web of deceit, leaving both heartbroken and betrayed.

He didn’t want it, but he took the best option for his family. Fate gave Leslie what she needed to get by and survive. She emerged victorious and basked in the glow of her success. She lived a life of unrestrained joy, surrounded by opulent comforts and a sense of effortless grace. She succeeded, independent of Scott.

“How did it feel to be guilty?” The counsellor prodded.

“Being guilty as charged taught her an important life lesson. Leslie learned that regardless of what she wanted, a guiding force surrounded her and gave her what she needed to become who she was today. With her head held high, she acknowledges her past failures, a defiant glint in her eyes as she speaks words without a hint of remorse. Relationships require mutual effort, success, or failure. She learned what she didn’t want, recognizing male manipulation. She also realized that dishonesty in a relationship is a foundation breaker. The harsh lesson she learned left her wiser for it.”

“Do you believe he feels regret? His words, a hollow echo of her deepest desires, reverberated in the room, failing to convey the genuine feeling she craved.

“The man’s carelessness with both women’s hearts breeds regret. Like wild mustangs, her thoughts stampeded through her mind, their power capable of breathtaking creativity or devastating self-destruction as unpredictable as a flash flood. Regret creeps in and camps in people’s minds as they age. Scott’s decision about Leslie—made in his thirties—leaves plenty of time for regret.”

“Perhaps he’ll grasp his lost love for Leslie. Or feel guilty as the life he made wasn’t the life he wanted,” the counsellor suggested. The counselling session concluded, and Leslie never returned.

Leslie learned from those experiences. She understood male ambition knows no bounds.

The weight of loneliness pressed down on her as she pictured her friends’ laughter, a sound that now felt distant and mocking. The empty playground, a stark reminder of lost laughter and shattered friendships, echoed Leslie’s grief. The group she encountered was ideal for coworkers and neighbours. Her regret lies in her decision to allow Scott to influence her into making one choice that snowballed into larger consequences with lasting ramifications. Her fists clenched, rage boiling at the injustice of knowing that she chose between two monsters.