Besotted Sociopath

Alexander only ever likes to be called Lex. He did like Alex once upon a time, but Pete called him Lex once as a joke, and it stuck with him since. Lex and Pete have been best friends since they were first born – literally. They were born in the same hospital, on the same day, seven-and-three-quarters minutes apart.

Pete has always given Lex the attention he craves, which is due to what his therapist calls ‘low-self-esteem from maternal deprivation’. He doesn’t agree with what his therapist ever says, though. They make everything up to paint themselves a cleverer image. At least that’s what his mother always tells him. Or told him, at least, before she flew to South Africa when he was twelve.

Eight years on from that, Lex and Pete share a house in Edinburgh as they complete their university degrees. Lex in English Literature and Pete in Biomechanics. Edinburgh Napier University is where Pete met the third and final member of the shared household: his girlfriend Taylor Young.

Tay is beautiful. She’s kind and extremely funny. She even looks after Lex sometimes when he has mental breakdowns and Pete isn’t available to. One time, Lex began panicking about an essay he had yet to complete for the following morning, and Tay practically wrote it for him whilst baking him a batch of her special ‘cool-down brownies’, which Lex is sure contains marijuana. Tay is the perfect person for Pete to be in love with, and she is the perfect person to share a house with.

But Lex wants to kill her.

He wants nothing more than it. Sometimes, he has dreams where he stalks into their bedroom in the middle of the night carrying a knife to gut her with before pushing her off and taking her place in the bed and falling back to sleep.

Lex isn’t in love with Pete, no bloody way, but he can’t help but believe that Tay isstealinghis best friend. The universe birthed them at the same time for a reason, and that reason is that it’s meant to be Lex and Pete. Not Lex, Pete andTaylor.Tay was never meant to move in; she and Pete were a one-night stand, a fling (of which Pete used to have many), but then two weeks on she was at their house four nights a week, then five, then six, and then the boxes arrived, and her name was on the bills and rent.

Lex has never been a fan of change, his therapist calls it ‘metathesiophobia’, but again he doesn’t believe that’s a real thing, just something that Doctor Plough makes up to make himself sound better than his patients. His first experience with change-induced anxiety was when his father died: the part that upset him most wasn’t losing a parent, nor was it his mother nurturing her cocaine and vodka more than her own son. The part that upset him most was not waking up and watching his father leave for work.

In short, the change of suddenly having a third person in the duo induced the dreams that Lex sometimes has. At least Lex tells himself that, to make sure he knows he isn’t some sort of psycho killer like the ones in the films that he and Pete used to watch every Friday night. They don’t watch horror films anymore because Tay doesn’t like them: another reason for her to be gone.

On Tuesday, Pete had offered to take Lex to the Lakes for the weekend for a camping trip, leaving on Friday and returning late Sunday. Lex loved the idea of he and his best friend spending an entire weekend together alone. But then Friday arrived, and now Lex is sat in the back seat of Pete’s 2015Vauxhall Astrawhile Tay takes his spot in the passenger seat in front of him.

Pete never mentioned Tay coming, and that’s why he is one wrong move away from taking his untied shoelace from hisNiketrainers and using it as a makeshift saw to remove the third-wheeler’s pretty head. He won’t do it; he isn’t a psychopath, and he likely doesn’t have the gut to even slap her, never mind decapitate.

The nearly three-hour drive consisted of no traffic, which made it a little bit easier to cope with the 21stCentury pop music blasting on full volume after Tay twisted the volume knob nearly further than it was meant to go. About halfway, a song called ‘Love Triangle’ by some singer called Raelynn came on and it was actually OK.

The three-person duo finally arrived at a lovely little patch of grass directly next to a small stream and a few hundred feet away from a giant lake that was glistening in the Sun, despite the orange ball being nearly wholly covered by smog-looking clouds that were drifting by. It was Pete who single-handedly set up the tent while Tay took Lex down to the lake to see if they could spot any fish.

Lex thought about pushing Tay’s head under and keeping it there until she stopped breathing but decided not to when he heard Pete’s voice call from the distance.

‘Guys!’ He shouted, his voice breaking slightly. ‘Tent’s up! Let’s get the steak on this stove!’

‘If it works.’ Tay mutters jokingly to Lex, which only irritates him rather than makes him chuckle like she expected.

The three-person duo sit around the mobile stove and watch in silence as the red-turning-brown slab of meat on the hot metal plate becomes surrounded by an army of crackling bubbles of olive oil. It isn’t the steak that Tay will be eating, though; she’s a vegetarian, so instead she has a small portion of Quorn picnic eggs and a lettuce and fake chicken sandwich.

Tay never eats much. She says it’s because she has to stay light for her gymnastics, but Lex sees straight through the lie. He remembers a story she told him one night when she was high on one of her cool-down brownies, about how her father used to call her mother ‘heavy’ and ‘oversized’, and all horrible names as such. It doesn’t help that she’s built petite anyway even before factoring in the lack of calories and nutrients. Lex sympathises with her, but it does not change his opinion.

Once the steak is finished it’s split down the middle by a steak knife in Pete’s hand before he uses said knife to slice it into thinner strips of the red-centred meat, placing it onto the plastic plates they brought with them once Lex was satisfied with the sizes. They begin eating at the same time and unsurprisingly finishes first, nominating herself as the one to blow up the air mattresses that they will be spending the next two nights sleeping on, bundled up in separate sleeping bags.

When Lex catches sight of her struggling to lift the heavy mattresses out of the boot of theAstra, he stands up and walks over, offering a helping hand. The car is parked slightly out of sight for Pete as he is facing the other way towards the lake, so Lex takes the opportunity to execute his improvised plan.

He frisks his back right pocket, making sure he can still feel the steak knife tucked away after he slipped it in, using the excuse that he wanted his slices of steak to be thinner. Once he is within reaching distance of Tay, he retrieves the tool from his pocket and holds it with his index lining down the dull edge of the blade to ensure accuracy.

In the seconds leading up to his kill, Lex pictures what it will look like, the serrated blade grazing the beautiful yet anaemic skin over her throat before slicing deeper into it, revealing the same watery redness that was released from the steak just moments ago.

‘Got it?’ He asks.

‘Yep, thanks though, Lex.’ Tay replies.

GoodLex thinks.Just stay focused on it for a few seconds longer.

Reaching the blade upwards in the direction of Tay’s fully exposed neck, not yet reaching it round to the front, wanting to savour his final moments of having to share Pete. Finally, he will get to go back to what it was like before University, back home in Inverness when Pete and Lex were just Pete and Lex, not the false duo that consists of three people. Watching as a speckle of sunlight flashes quickly into his eye, reflecting off the slightly red but still shiny blade, he brings it close to her throat. He continues to watch, wondering how focused on not dropping the mattress out of the boot Tay must be to have not felt his far-too-close presence behind her. Inches away is the blade. Before long it’s centimetres. Millimetres.