Prologue ~
I’m Avaline Bradley and up to now, I was absolutely convinced I was the luckiest she wolf in the world. Seemed like everything about my life was on track. My family was my rock. My sole purpose in my existence.
School let out for winter break. It never made sense why wolves needed two weeks out of school to celebrate a human deity. According to curriculum, it was simply something we conformed to. But who am I to complain. I was out of school for two weeks!
My sixteenth birthday was in two days. I still haven’t heard my wolf, and I was getting nervous. It was unusual, although not necessarily a rarity for wolves. My parents, Tom and Brenda Bradley, have tried comforting me. My brother Eldon, my staunchest support.
He was leaving with Jameson, the Alpha heir, for the Academy after winter break. I wouldn’t see him for two years, so I put on my brightest smile and told him not to worry.
I prayed every night to the Goddess. I wanted my wolf. I needed her. I have always felt incomplete. Something missing. And I always believed it would be better when my wolf appeared.
I had my wolf characteristics. My eyesight was sharpening. My hearing had gotten more powerful. I was strong.. my speed rivaled anyone in the pack. I was showing every indicator of having a wolf.
When my birthday came and went, with no wolf manifesting, that’s when all my troubles started. And my world fell apart. Our family knew it was a possibility I would be a null. My mother is half human after all.
It began with whispers. Which didn’t surprise me. There had always been whispers. The pack had begun ostracizing me. But the day Eldon was to leave for the Alpha Academy, was the day everything all became perfectly clear.
Jameson showed up in the early morning to speak with my dad. I overheard the conversation in passing.. realizing my world was crashing down.
Jameson spoke quietly “Tom, I have known for the past year that Ava is my mate. My dad thinks I should think about taking a chosen mate. As much as my wolf wants her, I have to keep the pack’s wellbeing at the forefront of my mind.”
Daddy asked “What do you mean, Jamie? You’re going to follow in your dad’s footsteps all the way? Reject your true mate in lieu of a false one who looks better on your arm? What? Where are you going with this?” Jameson cleared his throat and shuffled in his seat.
“Don’t mistake me, Tom. I am simply saying, if Ava has a latent wolf that manifests in a couple years, I will consider accepting her. You must understand, Blackwater needs a strong Luna. Someone who can protect and defend the pack. Without a wolf, Avaline is not qualified.”
Daddy slammed his fist on his desk “You are saying she’s your mate? And You are planning to reject her? In your and your dad’s infinite wisdom, you know better than our Goddess? Is that why you called this meeting at six in the morning? To avoid seeing her? What a fucking cowardly thing to do. It’s a good thing you are heading to the Academy. Maybe they can make a man of you!”
Jameson snarled “Stand down, Beta! Remember your place! I didn’t say I was rejecting her. I said I will revisit it when I return.”
He slammed the door open, and there I stood.. in cotton pajamas and bunny slippers. Our eyes met.. I felt the bond snap into place. He growled.
I stood.. Face to face with someone I had grown up with.. had seen every day for as long as I could remember.. and I realized, I didn’t really know him at all.
He yelled for Eldon, saying they were leaving within the hour. Pushing me aside, slamming me into the wall opposite the door, he rushed out the front door. I stared after him briefly.. before I ran to my room and locked the door.
I just sat on the floor, with my back against the door. Is this what rejection feels like? Is this right? I’m not in pain.. I just feel numb.
It wasn’t long before the rumors started. The school bullies decided to make me their target. Everyone had heard. They all knew. Which was normal for a pack this size. Gossip ran rampant. I took it all in silence. I tolerated it for the sake of the pack. For the sake of my family.
I ceased participating in pack activities. I seldom attended the Alpha family’s pack dinners and cookouts. I avoided meetings and parties. It was easier to just hide away.
My parents were grieving. I knew it.. I could feel their fear and sadness through the link. I just wasn’t ready to talk about it. All the while, I trained. I kept pushing my strength.. I learned. Everything I could about the human world, as well as wolves. I had enough sense to know I needed to prepare.
It all came to a head two months before my eighteenth birthday. I awoke in the night to the most excruciating pain I had ever experienced. I had felt twinges.. just nothing I could identify as anything I had experienced before.
I felt there was something wrong with me for the last several months. I would double over with cramps in my lower abdomen, or my skin would itch all over.
But that night, it felt like my insides were being ripped out of my vagina.. I was bleeding profusely.. no matter how desperately I tried, I couldn’t stop it. Shortly after the cramping began.. the gush of blood, I was screaming in agony and my parents busted through my door because they were frightened.
My dad bundled me up and ran for the infirmary, with me in his arms. They waited outside while Doc examined me.. and then I heard her whispering to them both.
“Has she met her mate? Everything about what she’s experiencing, points to a mate cheating on her.” She had no sooner said that, that I felt the worst pain yet.. in my neck. I couldn’t turn my head.. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t Think!
I screamed through the agony and I felt a gush of warmth flooded between my legs, as I heard the doctor yell out “Code blue! Defrib! Fluctuating heartbeat. Plasma.. NOW! She’s hemorrhaging.”
I spent two days in a coma.. and when I awoke, my parents were by my side. They both had tears in their eyes, whispering platitudes to keep me calm.
And I realized, I felt nothing. No residual echoes from my bond. No anger. No hurt. No yearning. Nothing. Jameson had ceased to exist in my world. What I did feel.. was relief. And hunger. I was hungry!
I looked at my family and smiled “I am sorry you worried. I never wanted to hurt you. What’s for breakfast?” They laughed through their tears and Daddy said “There’s my brave girl!”
I realized I was going to be okay. I had my family. I didn’t need anything else right now. What I didn’t have, was even the slightest remnant of a mate bond..
