Rael-Sholl's House
Rael Scholl’s House: A Little Fears Story
Cast: Matt, a 10 year old boy
Chance, Matt’s 12 year old cousin
Gabby, Chance’s 9 year old sister
Lakeesha, Gabby’s friend
Sandy, Gabby’s friend
Pablo, a 10 year old friend of Matt and Chance
Rael Scholl, an immortal being of whatever gender they decide to be moment to moment
A narrator
*CROWS CAWING*
MATT: The crows left me alone to attack those butterflies! Poor things, but I have to look out for myself in this weird forest!I should never have listened to the monster under my bed! There’s a fence up ahead that looks like it was made for climbing! Let’s go. (grunting) The birds sound like they’re laughing. A regular bunch of Heckels and Jeckels. Go watch a front porch swing and listen to a diamond ring, fellas.
NARRATOR: Uh- oh, that’s Rael Scholl’s house, Matty. Better not go there. (laughter)
CHANCE: Tia Flo said she didn’t know where Matt was, but she thought he was on his way to my place. He hasn’t been in contact since last night, something is wrong. Closetland has been getting really active lately. Even Gabby and her friends fought off a monster at their last sleepover. Now they call themselves the Thorn Princesses. I have my wooden practice sword...no, give it a little time. Maybe he is just on his way and taking a long way here.
PABLO: (reading) Local police report the eighth homeless person found dead. Seven men and one woman have been found dead in the area near Wood Hollow. The medical examiner said cause of death was asphyxiation. Says that means suffocation. (to himself) Could it be a serial killer? Or is it a monster like the people in my gamer group say? They think everything is a monster. I bet they still believe in the Easter Bunny, too, or maybe they think he’s a monster. They’re a good group, and Matt’s cousin, Chance is a member, too. He’s a cool older kid, not the kind who pretends they don’t know you when their other friends are around. message beep
CHANCE: Hey Pablo, have you seen Matt? He’s not around.
PABLO: Nah, man. Thought he’d be with you today, and me manana. We were going to watch Slam Night.
CHANCE: Is Grave Digger still your favorite wrestler?
PABLO: That’s my guy. Him and Mortuary Molly are still the mixed tag team champs.
CHANCE: Cool. It’s probably nothing, but if badness goes down, be ready to grab your lacrosse gear and meet me at your school by the tether ball poles.
PABLO: (to himself) Badness?
CHANCE: Look, you know monsters are real, right?
PABLO: Hey, fun’s fun, but get real, hermano.
CHANCE: Most of the kids in our gamer group are just playing, but I’m being serious. They’re real, and I think they took Matt to their world, inside the closet. My sister Gabby and her crew might come along, so don’t be weird about it.
PABLO: Crud, the Princess Posse? Man, okay... COMPUTER SHUT DOWN NOISE* My closet has started to spook me out again, even though I’m ten, now. I know Santa and the Easter Bunny aren’t real. Monsters? Chance wouldn’t be messing around and dragging his sister and the Princess Posse around just to play a dumb joke. I know Slam Night isn’t real either, but that injury Mortuary Molly had with her elbow means it’s real enough for me. (calling out) I’m done with the computer, Mama! I’m gong to try to play a pickup game at the school, okay?
NARRATOR: Okay, Mijo. RUMMAGING NOISE DOOR SHUT NOISE
PABLO: The helmet, shoulder pads and gloves are good protection, I guess, and maybe my net could trip a monster. I don’t know, Chance. I’m trusting you hermano.
CHANCE: It’s been too long. Time to gather the troops. Gabby’s door is closed. Any kind of girly weirdness could be afoot.
KNOCK KNOCK
GABBY: What is it you seek, Sir Knight?
CHANCE: Princess Gabriella, my squire, Matthew, is in peril. Can you summon the neighboring princesses and render aid?
GABBY: What’s Renderade?
CHANCE: It means help, I think. Princesses render aid all the time.
GABBY: Oh, good. I thought it was a drink, like lemonade. I’ll talk to Princess Sandra and Princess Lakeesha.
CHANCE: My thanks, princess.
DOOR CLOSE
BOOK OPENS
CHANCE: The Secrets of the Knights of the Butterfly includes a ritual to make a door to Closetland. Here it is! (reading) Opening a door to Closetland, this ritual requires belief, and a location rich in the joy and pain of children so that the walls between the worlds are weakened. Draw a door with chalk, recite your spell, and be sure you have the protection of bell, book, and candle. Leave an ally to guard the door and take the chalk with you, just in case you need another door. When everyone is back, DESTROY THE DOOR. (to himself) Recite your spell? What spell? I don’t see any spell here in the book. I guess I have to make one up. Thanks, all you knights who had the book before. KNOCKING ON DOOR Gabby, ask the girls if they can bring a bell, a book, and a candle for a spell.
GABBY: Okay!
CHANCE: I bet we’ll need a key, too. The other knights must have thought that detail was too obvious to use space on. The thermometer in the hallway is shaped like a key. It’s big and made of pewter. I bet that makes it good for magic. Nobody would believe in the magic of the key for my gym locker. This sidewalk chalk is all I can find. I hope it’s okay if it’s yellow. I just know Matt’s in trouble. He’s been away too long with no contact.
DOOR OPENS
CHANCE: Keesha, Sandy, you got here quick! Thank you!
SANDY: Come on, Sir Chance, we’re wearing our princess dresses.
CHANCE: My apologies, princess Sandra, Princess Lakeesha. Is that bow the real deal, Keesha?
KEESHA: It is. My dad keeps my target arrows locked up, though. Instead, I have these rose branches. I cut off the thorns and put them in this bag.
CHANCE: I’m sure they come in handy. It’s go time, my ladies.
(IN CLOSETLAND)
MATT: Look at these statues. One of those goat leg dudes, gross, even a statue that pees in a fountain. I don’t like the way that water looks, either. Whoa. This one is the creepiest of all. Is that a kng, or a queen, maybe? Why are they holding a mask? Looks like a devil mask. I’m not sticking around to find anymore weird stuff in this garden. I see a door up ahead!
WOLF HOWL
MATT: The door, almost there.
THUMP, DOOR OPENS, HAIL FALLS, WOLF HOWL
MATT: Ow! Good thing the door was unlocked! Are you taking shelter from the storm too, little butterfly? I hope you can stay safe. FOOTSTEPS Hello? I’m sorry to intrude, but there’s hail, and these wolves. I just need to wait out the storm. INDISTINCT VOICES Hi, I’m Matt. Are your folks around?
RAEL-SHOLL: Come in! Lurking is rude, so it is! Come, come! Matt, did you say? You are a guest in our home! Sit! Have a snack! Boys love snacks!
MATT: Thank you. I have some dried fruit, would you like to share with me?
RAEL-SHOLL: Share? You brought something for us?
MATT: Sure, it’s polite, right?
RAEL-SHOLL: Polite, for a guest to bring their own snacks and share them with their host-hostess? No. It is not polite. However, since you have brought fruit, I accept. You may help yourself to fizzy drinks, chocolate pretzels, and worms, but don’t touch the ribbon candy, it’s poison.
RAEL-SHOLL: Or is it the fizzy drinks that are poison? We are Rael-Sholl,, king of Closetland. You, Matt, are welcome anytime.
MATT: King Rael-Sholl, were you joking about the poison?
RAEL-SHOLL: I WAS! The ribbon candy and the worms are both poison! GIGGLE
MATT: What about the fizzy drinks?
RAEL-SHOLL: Poison? In MY fizzy drinks?! No one would DARE! LOUD GULP, BELCH Ooo, bad manners! But, you see, Matt? Safe as houses! Safe as MY house. CHOKE Matt, you betrayed me! COUGH, THUMP
MATT: King Rael-Sholl, no fooling, are you playing? Your highness? You really scared me. Good trick...AAAAA!
RAEL-SHOLL: MUNCH That apricot in your hand, it was the perfect antidote! All forgiven! MERRY LAUGHTER I tricked you! I tricked you good!
MATT: Oh, you got me!
RAEL-SHOLL: For that, I get one more apricot?
MATT: Sure!
RAEL-SHOLL: Give me some skin, man! SLAP, HIGH FIVE Very good, I’ll take that apricot. MMMM, divine. Go ahead, take a fizzy drink. They’re safe. Seriously though, don’t eat the worms..
MATT: You know what, your highness? I couldn’t. No, thank you.
RAEL-SHOLL: Oh, now that is polite. Did you hear me practice my wolf howl?
MATT: That wolf was you? I was fooled!
RAEL-SHOLL: Yes, it was me! I didn’t mean to scare you, though. I thought there was no one around. TELL ME, about yourself, Matt? Have a seat. I INSIST.
MATT: Well, I’m ten. I like to watch wrestling, and I like Meadowlark Lemon. They’re a band.
RAEL-SHOLL: Ah, so you have tellervision and a rayjio. Do you have a compooter?
MATT: My folks have one that they let me use sometimes.
RAEL-SHOLL: So you have one. Oh, so very fancy, Matthew. I’ll have a piece of ribbon candy, now.
MATT: You said it was poison.
RAEL-SHOLL: I didn’t lie about that If you stole some, it would kill you. I’m immune. It’s good to be the king. Do you like ribbon candy?
MATT: My grandma has some in a bowl, not as nice as yours is...
RAEL-SHOLL: Yes, my candy bowl is very nice. I don’t have a rayjio or compooter or tellervision, but I have a nice garden with statues. Of course, I also have my WORMS. GULP Mmmmm. Delicious, especially after a ribbon candy. Tell me Matt, got a girl you like? Or, are girls still icky?
Matt, to himself: I might have been safer with the birds.
ACT II
KEESHA: I brought a candle, is it okay if it’s been used and says Happy Birthday?
CHANCE: That won’t be a problem.
SANDY: I have a cowbell. It doesn’t have a clapper. My dad hits it with a drumstick.
GABBY: I have a book. It’s Moby Richard.
CHANCE: You’re allowed to say Dick when it’s a name. All right, bell, book and candle. I have chalk and a key. Let’s go, Matt needs us. I told Pablo to meet us at the basketball hoops, but he’s waiting by the tetherball poles. Hey, Pablo!
PABLO: Man, we’re gonna look weird, with those dresses and that butterfly T shirt you’re wearing, and me in my pads.
CHANCE: To who? That girl way over their chasing monsters on her phone?
PABLO: Good point.
GABBY: You gotta believe, Pablo. The magic works if you believe.
CHANCE: Who’s our artist?
KEESHA: Me.
CHANCE: All right, give us a door.
PABLO: If Matt comes running from some bush, I’ll never forgive you.
GABBY: We’re serious, Pablo. Monsters are real, and they have Matt. He’s been gone since last night. It’s the only explanation.
PABLO: So we’re safe during the day?
CHANCE: Safe from Closet Land, anyway. Hey, Keesha, doors need hinges.
KEESHA: Good enough?
CHANCE: Yeah, that will work. Sandy, hand me the bell, please.
SANDY: Here, Sir Chance.
COWBELL CLONK
PABLO: Hey, that bell doesn’t have a...
GABBY: I told you, the magic works if you believe.
CHANCE: Okay, the candle is lit, the book is above the door, the bell is on top of the book, everyone hold hands. Believe in the magic. Here we go. Hidden door now found, awaken to the silenced sound. Our unringing bell, our unread boo, and our...rarely used candle. Open to the key we bring, just as you heard our bell ring.Take us to the land behind the closet doors, to find Matthew...mores. MAGIC NOISES
PABLO: Wow, I’ll never make fun of your poetry again.
CHANCE: You made fun of my poetry? That hurts.
KEESHA: No time, boys.
CHANCE: Princess Lakeesha, it’s your door, and your duty to guard it, an destroy it when we come back, or if a monster tries to come through. If it’s not afraid of sunlight, it’s bad news.
KEESHA: I understand, Sir Chance.
CHANCE: Pablo, Princess Gabby, Princess Sandra, make a human chain. Red rover, red rover, let Chance come on over. MAGIC NOISES Oh, no. I recognize that statue.
PABLO: Where’d the sun go? What’s wrong with the sky, Chance?
CHANCE: There is no sun in closetland, hermano. It’s going to be all right. We’re together.
GABBY: Look at all the butterflies. They love you...
CHANCE: Us Knights are sworn to protect them. Reminds me about how urgent it is for me to find an apprentice before I turn thirteen and lose my belief.
PABLO: What?
CHANCE: I won’t be a kid anymore. I’ll be a teen. I don’t make the rules, it’s just how it works. Come one, Matt’s probably in Rael-Sholl’s house and that means he’s in big trouble.
GABBY: Who’s that?
CHANCE: The King of Envy. There are a few kings in closetland. The Boogeyman is the King of Greed, for example.
SANDY: Envy? That’s not so bad, so he gets jealous.
CHANCE: Yeah, then they kill you and cut off your face to turn into a mask.
THUD
CHANCE: The Door’s locked, of course. I have a key, though! Open up!
DOOR CREAK
CHANCE: (grunts) Hurry, it wants to close. DOOR SLAM Rael knows we’re here, now. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING!
PABLO: Sorry.
RUNNING FOOTSTEPS
CHANCE: Matt! We’re here!
MATT: Over here! Hey, meet King Rael-Sholl. We’re friends. This is my cousin, Chance.
CHANCE: That’s not Matt. It’s a trick.
(Rael-Sholl claps)
RAEL-SHOLL: Very good, you saw through the illusion. Matt is over here, quite under my spell. Hello, boys and girls. You want to be my friends.
CHANCE: Let him go, Rael. We’re taking him home.
RAEL-SHOLL: Or what, you’ll hit me with those STICKS? You’re in my house. There is no way out.
CHANCE: A bargain. A fair trade.
RAEL-SHOLL: Fair trade? For him? Make me an offer, Monty. Let’s make a deal.
PABLO: Wayne is the Let’s Make a Deal guy.
RAEL-SHOLL: Shut up, Pablito.
CHANCE: I offer a mystery, a treasure, and a riddle. The best part is, they are all connected.
RAEL-SHOLL: Go stand with your friends, Matty. First, the treasure.
CHANCE: Gabby, give the king your thorn.
GABBY: But it’s my talisman! It’s our symbol!
RAEL-SHOLL: Yes, give it to me!
GABBY: This thorn came from a rose in a princess’ garden. It was a gift. It’s my treasure.
RAEL-SHOLL: Gimme. So smooth, and so sharp! This is good. It belongs right her in my tongue. (lisping) Now give me the rissel.
CHANCE: I could not see it, but it went with me the whole way. When I found it, I did not want it. Riddle me this, what did I find?
RAEL-SHOLL: I know! A sorn in your foos! (Rael-Sholl applauds) Good rissel!
CHANCE: It wasn’t a ghost, it was just a big dog covered in phosphorous. Holmes found the powder on a bush
RAEL-SHOLL: Wha? I don’t understand.
MATT: The Mystery of the Hound of the Baskervilles.
RAEL-SHOLL: (grunts in frustration) Go.
MATT: Thank you for your hospitality.
CHAINS
RAEL-SHOLL: Never said I’d let you out!
CHANCE: Matt, draw a door, don’t forget hinges.
RAEL-SHOLL: Drawing on my wall? NAUGHTY CHILDREN!
GABBY: We need to escape!
MATT: I’m working on it.
CHANCE: Keyhole!
MATT: Got it!
CHANCE: Human chain! MAGIC NOISES
RAEL-SHOLL: You think you won, you think you’re free? I’ll still have my fun, every door will lead straight to me...
GABBY: Keesha, destroy the door! BRUSHING SOUNDS
PABLO: Ah, mister golden sun, look at you...say, Chance, about those butterflies in closetland?
CHANCE: Every kid who dies unwanted or neglected gets reborn as a closetland butterfly.
MATT: I saw so many...
CHANCE: Yeah, I know....
RAEL-SHOLL: All things come to them that wait.
