(75) The best psychologists

(75) The best psychologists.

This has come down to me from my grandmother. She told my mom, and this is what she told me. This is about Grandpa and one of his colleagues. They were both serious men.

They had studied at the university and were fascinated by psychology and all other sciences.Grandma was interested and became very observant over the years.

She swore Grandpa knew nothing about it all. It was a family secret I was to pass down to my daughters only. It's her "unexplained psychology" in three parts. It is a highly advanced model linking the speed of momentum around us and corresponding influence on two psychosocial spheres: events and reactions.

The effects will be inversely proportional to the specific quality of social interaction between people in the reaction sphere. The events will be affected by changes in proportional discontinuity to the speed at which they usually occur.

It is still advanced today with principles equating time and space effects on psychosocial spheres of reactions and events.The scale of reactions goes from faultless and perfect politeness and diplomacy to absolute disdain and unfiltered rudeness.

The couple is expressed by two variables in parentheses that will inversely act upon one another. The model is based on the memory of something that happened between Grandpa and his colleague that afternoon so long ago. She accompanied them because they had a train to catch.

That's the official reason, Grandpa always said. For real, he was aware of his granddaughter's talents and included her whenever he could. He wanted her to start with all he knew so she could focus on what needed to get known.

They were both eminent men. Both so dignified and distinguished. But they still had their differences!

Grandpa was very rudimentary. He could turn a globe very quickly and, with his wet finger, stop it dead where his finger is pointing and tell you everything there is to know about that spot, even if it's in the ocean. His colleague, in comparison, is very basic.You will never convince him a map isn't flat.

They put on their scarves and coats. Grandma was with them. This is precisely where the first part of the psychological model applies. She observed as they arrived at the station; the place was very full of people.

Despite that, they huddled happily together. The trains drove by at full speed without stopping. Nobody was getting to board any train, so the station was crowding even more.The colleague said without any hint of annoyance or surprise.

-"It's a shame we failed to catch our train here today, my most trusted colleague and friend."

Grandpa, who was equally unperturbed, responded:

-"I am the one who agreed we had to leave and catch the train, my good friendly man."

He was taking responsibility as a gentleman.

Upon this, they left in a good, proper manner. The second part, she says, is when they returned later, hoping to board a train if everything was back to normal.

It was. There were not more people than usual this time either.The trains slowed down as usual, and passengers climbed in and out. The colleague says, without waiting, walking, and speaking in a very dismissive tone,

-"I'll be in the bathroom. This walk sure helped me digest, buddy."

Implying he had bowel movements coming.

-"Yeah, maybe we'll see you around if you come back, pal."

That was Grandpa's response.She had never heard them speak this way. Even less to one another. All three boarded without another word.

The third part is on the way back. Although it was still relatively early, the station was deserted. The train was going to be twenty minutes late. Grandpa's colleague leaned forward and said, farting very loudly:

-“Stupid train will never be here on time, you frickin' doorknob.”

Grandma just about fainted as this scene unfolded. It smelled like rotten eggs in the still humid air. Grandpa was quick to retort:

-"You always will have bored me with your diatribes, you gross, indecent broad."

Grandma didn't even suspect Grandpa of being capable of using such language and behaviour. The oddity of the unusual rates of movement around them and the corresponding rudeness.

When the train finally arrived, they boarded, and it went slower than they ever remembered a train going. They could have walked beside it, and it would've been quicker. On the way, which never seemed ending, the two men loathed each other's presence and avoided each other's angry stare.

When Grandma got a chance later that evening, she wrote down the three parts of her psychology, which always reminded her of Alban Berg's contemporary classical work, “Lyrical Suite."

She told Mom, who told me. Now I'm single and cannot have any children. So I decided to reveal anonymously Grandma's psychology in case it dies with me. Thank you, Grandma, thank you, Mom.