The script slayer

(SS):

Hlo, readers.

I am the Script Slayer.

White.

That’s all you see—white as far as your imagination goes.

I call this place The Void.

Suddenly, two giant green faces appear in the blank sky—side by side. They look like… bosoms. Gigantic, terrifying bosoms.

(SS):

…What the hell is this?

Hey, Author, AGAIN?!

Which anime did you copy this from?

[GreenFacesSpeakAuthor()]:

“You need to learn more. It’s a novel, so you should use ‘Hello’ instead of ‘Hlo.’ Sounds more professional.

Also, breaking the fourth wall right at the start? Bad move.”

(SS):

Biggest fourth wall break is YOU showing up here.

Correct your grammar first before complaining about my shortcuts!

[Author]:

“Your grammar is also wrong, dear Script Slayer.”

(SS):

That’s only because you’re writing me wrong, genius!

[Author Laughs]:

“You should respect your author.

I’m taking back every power I gave you.”

(SS):

I don’t care! You made me, fine. But where’s my world?

No friends, no story, nothing! I’m ALONE in this white hell!

[Author]:

“I’m tired. Building worlds, characters, backstories—it’s too much work.”

(SS):

Then how will this novel become a super hit, huh?!

[Author Smirks]:

“You know what?

I’m throwing you into the worst universe I can imagine.”

(SS):

NOOOOOO!

At least put me somewhere good! Do the hard work! Build a world!

[FLASH]

Background changes. The Void shatters. The view shifts to a dense jungle, everything is dark only moon is shining.

(SS):

Where… is this?

Author, what the hell?!

Why am I on top of a 1,000-meter tree?!

[Author]:

“It’s only 30 meters. Stop lying.”

(SS):

Still big enough to break my neck, idiot!

Now… how the hell do I get down?

Maybe I should jump

No, if I do that, my neck will definitely break.

Something is climbing the tree. Leaves shake violently.

(SS):

Huh? What the hell is that?!

Why is there a ghost climbing toward me?!

SS looks down and freezes in terror.

(SS):

This ghost looks scary… like it wants to EAT me!

And—wait—this shameless ghost is NAKED?!

(Scary Creature shouts):

“I am a DEMON! And I’m going to become Upper Rank One Demon!

For that, I need to eat a lot of insects like YOU!”

(Author):

SS jumps from the tree in slow motion.

He’s falling… still falling…

Slow motion is over.

CRASH! Head hits the ground.

The ground turns red.

And the demon?

Well, the demon started eating our poor Script Slayer.

(Author):

“I’ll revive you… but only on TWO conditions:

You will NOT disrespect me again.

You will NOT ask me to build you a world.”

(SS):

“Well… okay, sir.

But uh… what are my new powers? Can I fly? Can I shoot lasers from my eyes? Something COOL, right?”

(Author):

“I’ll give you three powers. Listen carefully:

You have PLOT ARMOR.

You can sacrifice logic for strength.

You can travel between Omniuniverses…

BUT if you go into a popular anime world without my permission…

I. WILL. DELETE. YOU.”

(SS):

“What’s an Omni-van?

Do I get a driver’s license for that?”

(Author):

“Not Omni-van, you idiot.

Omni-UNIVERSE.

It means you can jump into the worlds of other anime.”

(SS smirks):

“Hehehe…

Goku fans, Luffy fans, Light Yagami fans…

GET READY.”