An Alien Love: Life and Death (Book 4)

Place: Dagerstanteen’s palace. Inside JP’s lab.

(JP’s perspective.)

JP DIDN’T KNOW who poisoned the future ruler of the Dagerstanteens... yet.

Rubbing his tentacles together, he strode out of his lab. His failure beat him with every step he took. What he knew about the Ply Weed was still so limited. What he needed to do was travel back to Franca’s moon.

Trying to calm his annoyance, he inwardly cringed at the idea of leaving the palace to hunt down a weed of all things. All this work, and in the end, he wasn’t helping in the search for his lost sibling. Fenton was still not found. In every aspect, he was failing his family. In times like these, he needed to think.

Reaching his sleeping chamber, JP stopped and asked Rhylent to ready his ship. When he was finished talking to his sibling in his mind, JP headed into the room that held his loominairin. His gray Nebos fluttered, sensitive to his frustration. Large swaths rolled to the right and left. After JP paused, he shaped his Nebos into a stool. Once seated in front of his instrument, JP stretched out his tentacles. After settling his rioting emotions, he started to play.

JP’s eyes closed as he plucked at the strings. He was so lost in the music that he almost missed the stirring in his mind. But then he felt it. The presence that had been with him since his creator died whispered in his brain. It was a feather-light touch, but JP knew the second that the mystery being was with him.

-Hello, Voice,-JP said in his mind.

-I was going to let you finish your song. You play beautifully.-

Voice, as JP called it, was husky and deep, but that was the end of the assessment JP could make. There was always a crackle, as if they had a bad connection. Of course, JP didn’t even know how they were linked in the first place. And it wasn’t for lack of trying. He’d asked multiple times where the Voice came from, and short of begging, JP was out of ideas. Now, JP was simply more covert in his search for information.

For now, JP accepted that Voice simply was, but he would know all this creature’s secrets one day.

-If you were to meet me, I would play for you.-JP dropped his tentacles away from the strings. -We could be together, and you would no longer be lonely. I will help you.-

He’d repeatedly asked the lifeform to meet him, and it always said no. Even though JP expected the refusal, he never gave up.

-I told you that we can never meet. And I don’t need help.-

-Everyone needs help sometimes.-JP allowed this for now. But at some point, he would see and touch this creature that held his heart.

Sighing, JP rose.

-How are your musical studies going? Are you still practicing your loominairin?-JP walked to the far wall of his music room. Even though he’d never met the being on the other end of this dialogue, he still felt he knew him or her. JP and Voice had had hundreds of discussions. It was Voice who first nicknamed him JP. There were moments when JP felt closer to Voice than to his siblings.

-I have no idea why I let you talk me into getting this absurd instrument. The loominairin is made for six tentacles. I only have two. I can never play all the notes.-

-I see.-JP waved, and the Nebos on the back wall split apart. With the fabric out of the way, JP could stare at his work. Mounted on the wall was all his research on Voice.-You only have two tentacles?-

-I know what you’re doing.-Voice laughed.

-What?-

-You’re trying to figure me out.-Voice laughed again.-Nice try.-

Above him, JP wrote a note that Voice couldn’t play all the notes of the loominairin.

Staring up at the wall, JP noted each of the multiple glass plates dangling. Each tablet outlined his guesses on the type of creature that spoke to him. Now that he knew that Voice did not have six tentacles, he could eliminate some of the aliens in the galaxy. So far, through their numerous exchanges, he’d canceled out many beings, but still, after all this time, he had no clue what or who he was talking to. What he did know was that he cared about this thing more than he cared about himself. JP wanted to meet the organism more than anything.

-You’re doing it again,-Voice muttered.-You’re sulking.-

-I never sulk.-

-Then you are trying to puzzle out what I am.-

-Give me one hint.-JP rubbed his head.

-You are so obstinate, Red.-

Voice always called him Red, and JP thought he could hear the creature’s teasing note. Once, JP asked how the being knew JP had red tubes, but Voice said the color was a guess. Liar. JP gathered that the being saw in a specific set of colors, like humans. Voice knew the color red and had seen JP. How it did that, JP could only wonder.

-Please,-JP said solemnly.

-What kind of hint?-

JP grinned.

-I am learning from the humans that they care about gender. Do you have a gender?-

-Humans have males or females, which is about reproduction, correct? I will never reproduce.-Voice paused. -But I once thought it would be nice to incubate for you. You’d make a great creator. I know that you started to think about a baby when Keltrix had his young.-

As longing shot through him, JP was silent. He wanted this creature so much. He didn’t even care if he could never reproduce like his siblings. He simply wanted them to be together. When they first began to speak, it was long before Keltrix met Murry. JP never thought about pleasure or touch or anything more than friendship, but after seeing his siblings so happy, JP wanted so much more from this creature.

Because of the humans, JP now understood love. He wanted this creature’s love.

-Thank you for the compliment.-JP got a hold of his thoughts.-But I know when you are deliberately getting me off-topic.-

-What’s the topic again?-Voice teased.

-That you are a puzzle, and you will answer my question.-

-You like the puzzle of me.-

-I love you, not the puzzle, and not just a voice. I love you.-JP had learned much from the humans, and he knew this strange feeling that swirled in his body. He understood what made him think about Voice and dream about it at night. JP even comprehended that Voice made drips of lubricant leak from his lips when desire struck. He’d tried to fight the lust. JP had tried to say that aliens should stick with their own, but now he knew that wasn’t true. What he wanted was a connection of souls. He wanted this lifeform.

-What if I’m a terrible alien that would kill you if we met? Would you still love me?-

-I don’t have enough words to explain what I feel for you.-

There was a long pause, but even though Voice was silent, JP knew he or she was still there.

-Do you think of yourself as male or female?-Voice asked.

-The humans say I am male.-

-I would say male as well.-Another pause. -Are you disappointed?-

-You could never disappoint me.-

-I love talking to you, Red.-

-Then meet me.-JP reached for one of his plates.-I will make you happy.-He could cross off a few species from his list. The Nattos, for example, considered themselves both male and female. The Jatoons considered themselves neither.-Voice... I do not care what you look like or what you are. I just want you. I care about you.-

-And I care about you,-Voice whispered. -Which is why we will never meet.-

“JP.”

JP spun around and stared at the doorway. His sibling, Rhylent, stood in his music room, frowning at JP’s notes on his wall. His information on Voice took up the entire expanse. Waving a tentacle, JP covered the observations and offered a smile.

“I did not hear you.” JP strode toward Rhylent. “I was deep in thought.”

“Yes.” Rhylent inclined his head. “I figured you were in deep contemplation. We tried to speak to you, but you did not answer.”

“If I wasted your time, I apologize.” JP had learned long ago that when he was connected to Voice, it was as if the lifeform could override his connection to his siblings. He’d asked Voice about it, but he seemed unsure why that happened.

“I came to tell you that your requested ship is ready for travel to the moon of Franca. Chasm fixed your fuel chamber.” The light of pride touched Rhylent’s eyes when his sibling spoke of his human.

Again, longing shot through JP, but he buried the ache. He did not want his sibling to sense his yearning.

“Thank you.” JP offered a smile. “I will be there soon. I must finish gathering my supplies.”

“Fine.” Rhylent nodded and vanished out the doorway.

-You’re traveling to Franca again?-Voice asked.-I had hoped... -There was a long pause.-Forget it,-

-Doubtful, -JP teased. -I remember everything you say.-

-Whatever. -Voice chuckled, but there was a sadness to the laugh that had JP hurting to see the alien.

-You could meet me on the moon,- JP suggested. -I will please you.-

In his mind, JP pictured touching it. He didn’t care what it was, what it looked like, or if it killed him. He didn’t care if he died. They would be together, at least for a moment.

-No.-

-Please.-

-I have to tell you something, and I guess now is a good time since you will be traveling again.- Voice crackled like he was breaking the connection.

-You have spoken to me while I have traveled before.-JP shrugged.-You even comforted me when I was held prisoner by the Folantos.-

-Don’t remind me of that horrible situation.- Voice groaned. -I’m still angry with myself for not freeing you. You suffered because I wasn’t smart enough to find you.-

-You did your best. I do not hold it against you.-JP offered solace to the lifeform.-But I will admit I wish you had found me.- JP strode to his sleeping chamber and started to pack the items he would need for his trip. -I could have met you if you had found me before Keltrix.-

-Red.- Voice sighed. -I need to tell you I can’t talk to you anymore. This is my goodbye.-

-What?- JP felt a unique rush of emotions. He didn’t even know a Dagerstanteen could feel so shaken. -Why?-

-I just wanted to talk to you one last time. Be well, Red. Know that you have been the only thing in my life to chase away the loneliness.-

-No,- JP snapped, but it was too late. The crackle came again, and then the link was gone.

As JP stood in the middle of his room, his world crashed down around him. No. Voice couldn’t leave him. No. JP wouldn’t accept this. No. His mind spun as he tried to come up with what to do. Should he finally tell his family about Voice? Would they think he’d lost his mind? He was supposed to be a brilliant healer. He understood life and death, and he’d saved many, but now he wanted something for himself, and damn it, he didn’t care about the consequences. He had to find Voice.

Searching his mind, JP hunted for the connection but only found a link to himself. Finding his mind at the end always made him feel insane. He placed a tentacle on his chest as the agony hit him.

Now he understood what the humans meant when they talked about a broken heart.