Chapter 1
There was always a part of me that felt unbalanced.
I acted with kindness; Yet I knew they did not deserve it
I dealt with pleasantness. Yet, it was never enough.
Whenever I smiled to a person in front of me, I pictured them in my mind hurt and screaming.
Whenever I said the word “yes” to something that required me to push myself to something I do not want to do. I imagined how I laughed when their bodies were dripping with blood.
It was an uneven balance, a dark side of the girl who was always smiling, kind and pleasant.
My feelings of darkness, or to me my own self, were buried deep inside a shell I protected myself in, I was afraid of being alone and hated. Yet, even if I acted like the obedient girl, the honorable one, I was still an outcast.
That shell grew and hardened with the years, I mostly forgot who I am and continued what I know.
Be pleasant
Be kind
Say always the right words
And never, ever say no.
Until one day, I was thrown into a dark pit that, that shell broke and a side of me was freed, into a dark, monstrous person. Who finally felt like it was me.
