Chapter 2
Chapter 1
The routinia is the most ordinary flower in the world. It has exactly 5 yellow petals, it smells neither fragrant nor foul, and blooms on schedule so precisely that people can set their clocks by it.
The routinia is not a well-known flower in some countries, but it was once very common in the far-away land of Mundania, the land in which our story takes place.
In Mundania, eggs were eaten plain with no salt or pepper. Hairstyles never changed. Knights fought in jousts that began after their 12 o’clock lunches and before their 5 o’clock suppers (and they never got hurt too badly because none of them were especially brave or bashful).
Mundania was, well, mundane, and it had been mundane for centuries. But the Mundanians didn’t seem to mind. No one got bored because they didn’t know what it was like to be interesting.
Then, one day, the royal household of Mundania became the royal family of Mundania. On that day, King John watched in pride and terror as Queen Jane gave birth to their child. The king and queen were happy, and the kingdom rejoiced (in moderation, of course, as is the Mundanian way).
Queen Jane invited guests of average distinction to the child’s christening. Among them were an average array of magical creatures such as giants who were not too tall, goblins who were not too scary, and sirens who were not overpoweringly pretty. Their guest of honor was Lady Ambrosia, the ambassador of the fairy kingdom.
To the dismay of the king and queen, Lady Ambrosia had an average case of attention deficit. She knew she had come to Mundania to greet its new heir, but she stopped listening to her advisors before they could tell her that the Mundanian heir was a boy. Therefore, when it was her turn to speak, she bestowed upon the child the gifts that fairies usually give to princesses and presented him to all the world as…
“Princess Joe!”
Murmurs of shock echoed through the great hall. Queen Jane swooned. King John was too stunned to speak at first. And a confused Lady Ambrosia looked this way and that wondering what on earth the matter was.
The king explained the matter and begged Lady Ambrosia to take back her gifts. Lady Ambrosia was deeply sorry, but it was too late.
“Even average fairies cannot unsay what is said,” she explained, and with that, she vanished in an orange cyclone of pixie dust and embarrassment.
King John and Queen Jane did not despair (they didn’t know how to. Mundanians don’t permit themselves to be sad for very long). They promptly decided they would love Princess Joe and raise him the best they could, come what may.
