The girl I used to be
I was not always this strong.
There was a time when I was soft. A time when I believed love was safe. A time when my heart had never known what it meant to shatter and still be expected to beat like nothing happened.
I was just a girl with simple dreams: to be loved, to be chosen, to build a future with someone who would stay.
When I met him, I thought I had found that future.
He came into my life like peace. His words were gentle. His presence comforting. He made promises that sounded real — promises I held close to my chest like something sacred. And like a girl deeply in love, I believed him.
I gave him my trust.
I gave him my heart.
I gave him parts of me I can never take back.
I didn’t know that the same arms that made me feel safe would one day be the reason I learned how to survive alone.
The change didn’t happen overnight. It came quietly.
His voice grew colder.
His replies became shorter.
His love slowly felt like an obligation instead of a choice.
I remember the night I stared at my phone, waiting for a message that never came.
“Are you even there?” I whispered to the empty room.
Silence. Nothing.
I remembered a day, not long ago, when he had held my hand and promised, “I’ll never leave you.”
I laughed quietly to myself, feeling the irony. He hadn’t meant a single word.
I thought about the mornings we laughed together, the nights we planned dreams that would never come true. I remembered how my heart had once soared at every glance, every text, every promise.
I remembered the way he smiled when he thought I wasn’t looking, the quiet evenings we spent talking about our future, and how I believed those simple moments were forever.
And then came the morning I found out I was carrying his child.
I stared at the test in my trembling hands, my heart skipping every beat.
The tiny lines were clear. Too clear.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t scream.
I couldn’t even cry.
All I could do was whisper to myself: “How… how did I get here?”
I thought of my old self — the girl who believed in fairytales, in love, in forever. She felt like a stranger now.
The girl I used to be no longer existed.
In her place, something else was growing. Something stronger, something fierce, something ready to face a world that had already turned its back on me.
I didn’t know then how hard it would be.
I didn’t know the battles I would face.
I didn’t know the nights I would cry alone or the days I would fight just to keep standing.
But one thing I knew: I would survive.
Because this… this was just the beginning.
And somewhere deep inside, I felt it stirring — the first spark of the woman I was meant to become.
