Chapter 1
Finley Adela. Nov, 4ᵗʰ 2007
Every night was like this for Finley. The sounds of her parents yelling from upstairs. They did this so often, It was like they hated each other. Finley wanted to know so badly, but they would say everything was fine. Most nights Finley’s father would sleep on the couch downstairs. They never seemed to get along well with each other. They were never ending fighting. The muffled sounds of their voices came up through the vent next to Finley's bed. They didn’t realize that she could hear them.
“Nick, why do you always have to do this to me!”
Lisa yelled with pain in her voice.
“Lisa, I-I’m sorry I just didn’t…”
“You just didn’t what! What didn’t you just do!”
Nick was at a loss for words. He didn’t know what to say. It was obvious that Nick was in the wrong. He just didn’t want to admit to it.
“Look, Lisa, I know that-”
“No, You don’t get to say anything anymore!”
“But-”
“No! I don’t want to even see you. Get away from me!”
Finley lay in her bed. Staring at the ceiling her hands interlocked on her stomach. She wanted all of this to stop but it was too much. They were too loud. The yelling was still going and she just wanted it to stop. Until it did. The yelling was over. A door slammed somewhere downstairs. Then there were footsteps going upstairs. Usually, after the fighting Finley's mom would go upstairs and check on her. The door creaked open and Lisa peered around the corner.
“Hey kiddo, how are you?”
“I’m a good Mom.”
Finley was quiet but kept her composure. It was hard living like this, watching your parents fight each other. Tearing themselves apart.
“That’s good, I’ll be going to sleep. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Mom.”
Finley said, trying to give a genuine smile. She could feel her eyes well up in tears. She would cry herself to sleep most nights. It always seemed so hard to find peace among chaos. Lisa left the room leaving the door open. Finley sighed as she took the blanket off of herself. Standing up she can feel the cold air brush against her legs. Extending her arm she lightly closed the door by pushing it a bit. But not too much to where it would make a sound. The latch was very quiet though the flooring was a different story. The house was old and almost any type of pressure would cause the floor to make a sound. She got used to it and knew mostly where to step to get around without making a noise. As she lay back down she took the blanket and put it over her body. Taking the pillow next to her she brings it to her face and starts to cry. She cried till she couldn’t anymore. Her eyes were red and puffy. She grew tired. She was resting her head on the pillow with her face down. Still sobbing just a bit. She succumbed to sleep. The next morning was quiet yet cold. The window had been left open and a draft was coming through. She could hear people downstairs. Looking over at the nightstand she saw that it said 8:32 A.M. She slept in. This terrified Finley. Her parents hated it when she slept in. They always complained that it’s not polite to waste time like that.
She heard clashing plates and pots and pans downstairs. Finley was late for breakfast. Putting her slippers on she rushes out to the stairs. Getting into the kitchen she sees her mother cleaning dishes at the sink.
“You issued breakfast.”
She said not even turning to look at Finley. She was stone-faced. Her eyes were fixed on the sink.
“Where is my breakfast?”
Finley asked, looking at the table.
“You don’t get any, you missed it.”
Finley’s face faded. She was hungry.
“If you want to eat you can make it yourself.”
“But the school I have to leave for school in 15 minutes.”
“That’s not my problem. You should have woken up earlier then.”
Finley looked up at the clock on the wall. 8:40 A.M. Time went by so fast. It's like she skipped forward in a movie. Opening the fridge there is almost nothing. All there had been was a lunch bag and a water bottle for her school lunch. Taking them out of the fridge she slowly made her way to her backpack that was hanging off of the wall. She didn’t want to move too fast to make any sudden move. She didn’t want to upset Lisa any more than she already had. In the living room, the TV was on. Some game show was playing. The yelling of celebrations reminded her of last night. Putting her things inside of her backpack she took it off the hanger and went back to the fridge. Opening it up she put some extra food inside. After closing the fridge Finley goes back upstairs and sets her bag down. Taking off her slippers she picks up her shoes. A pair of black and worn Converses. She had them for a few years. Once she tied her shoes she stood up to get the rest of her clothes on. A pair of jeans, they were deep blue. It was her style for as long as she could remember. She also put on a white t-shirt before slipping on a black Guns N’ Roses sweater. She had one because she saw it a a store once and it is also her favorite band. grabbing a piece of paper before writing on it. She thought about what to put for a while. After writing she folded it and put it on her bed. In clear view of anyone who walked in. She wanted it to be that way just so they would know. So maybe they would understand what she is about to do. Finley just wanted to be free and happy. Not yelled at for every little thing. Picking her stuff up Finley started to go to the front door. Heading downstairs Finley sees her mother go to the living room. It gave her enough space to leave the house without having to say anything to either of her parents. She quickly left the house. Trying not to make a sound. She kicked the wall. It left a mark. She froze.
“Finley! What was that?”
“Uh… Nothing Dad.”
Finley tried to say but he came out into the kitchen
”What the fuck is that on my wall?”
He said looking down at the mark. He scrunched his face and furrowed his eyebrows. Looking down at Finley who was scared he lifted his arm. She ducked and held her hands above her head. It was no use, he slapped her across the face. Her cheek turned red.
“Ow!”
“When I get home later I better not see that shit on there!”
“Ok, dad…”
Her voice was shaky. She didn’t want to get hit again. It stung like a wasp. He turned towards the door before walking out with the car keys. He didn’t say anything else but slammed the door on his way out. It shook her. He always seemed so angry. Her mother pretended like it didn’t happen. Standing up she watched the car drive away. Standing up her legs shook. Usually, he would hit a lot more, and a lot harder. As she got to the door she looked outside. The car had driven off now. Most of the time Nick would drive her to school. He was too angry to drive. Finley felt a sense of dread. Thankfully for her, she was leaving. Going to the front door and opening it she was hit with a rush of cold November air. The bus stop wasn’t far, just around the corner of her street. The walk would be difficult because of the snow but Finley was desperate. She wanted nothing but to be gone from the house.
Walking down the path of the house her feet left prints in the snow. The wind kept blowing on her face. Her hands turned red and numb. Finley didn’t have any mittens. When she was at the store she could have bought some but didn’t have enough money. No matter how many things Finley did for her parents they never paid her. But she knew where they stashed it. In the shed. That was her first stop. Getting to the shed through the deep and tall snow the door was hard to open. The snow made it hard to get through. After some vigorous turning and pulling she opened the door. The money was on the shelf up on the wall. The jar was behind some old paint buckets. Inside the shed was warm, and insulated. The walls were laced with fiberglass.
“Ok…”
She mumbled to herself as she took a stool and put it underneath herself. Standing on it she tried to grab the jar of money. The jar was too far back and the paint buckets were in the way. As she tried to grab it she knocked the shelf down and fell off the stool. The lid of the paint spilled on her black jacket. A big white blotch stained the side of her jacket. If she was seen with the white stain people would be sure to tell who she is. The jar shattered on the ground. Cash and coins are everywhere. Scattered along the ground. Getting on her hands and knees she starts to pick up the money. Her breathing has increased. The last thing she wants to happen is for that shed door to open again and for her mother to stand there. Finally, she picked up most of the money, some coins were still underneath some furniture. Getting up from the floor Finley peeks out the door of the shed to see if her mother was there. She wasn’t. Opening the doors fully dashes for the road. The snow made it hard to get there. She falls from the snow face planting. Lifting her head the snow stuck to her face. After only a few seconds she could feel her face freezing. Like having her face in cold water. Her hands were buried in the snow as well.
“Oh no. Oh god.”
She said as she stood up looking down at her hands. They were red like a tomato along with her face. She started to rush to the bus stop. It was in sight. Just a little bit away. But so was the bus, she could see and hear it coming. Smoke coming out of the exhaust at the top. Like a big black cloud. Finley started racing to the bus stop. Tripping as she ran towards the stop she barely made it. Grabbing onto the signs pole she looks up as the bus slows down. She sighs of relief slightly out of breath. Breathing heavily she looks up at the bus waiting for it to stop. As the bus stopped in front of her the doors opened. Screeching as they do. The driver looks at her with a lit cigarette in his mouth.
Stepping onto the bus the driver stops her. Finley looks at him. He opens the top of a box on the dash of the bus.
“Pay.”
He grumbled staring down Finley.
“Sorry, how much?”
Finley rummages through her pockets looking for the money she took. She manages to get out enough to give the bus driver. She smiles as she hands him the money. She tried to act as natural as she could.
“What happened to your coat?”
“Oh, that?”
Finley said as she looked down at her coat. The white paint is now a bit more visible.
“It’s just paint, I spilled some before coming out of my house.”
Finley said as she started walking to a seat. The bus started driving. She didn’t know where it was going. Regardless of where it was going, she would try her best to stay safe there. At least she hoped. Finley would have to ditch the coat to attempt somewhat of a low profile. The next stop seemed so far away. The bus was going a little slower because of the snow on the ground. The snow plows haven’t come by yet. They were only supposed to come around the afternoon. It was still only the morning. The other people on the bus looked like they were in a hurry. Looking at papers they had in their hands reading it as fast as they could or tapping their foot against the floor. Everyone was worried. Some Of them were already going to get to work late. Their jobs started at 9 Finally Finally had no idea what time it was. She left her watch at her home. The bus slowed to a crawl before fully stopping. As it stopped the bus opened the doors. Letting people in and they all put money into the box at the front. It was all the same amount. Everyone that was on the bus prior kept getting more anxious. The tension on the bus was high.
The bus was becoming full. Everyone seemed strange to Finley. Something she couldn’t explain. She was scared. Everything appeared different from what usual was. The faces of the people seemed terrifying and unfamiliar. She wanted everyone to get off. That was just a pipedream. It was just one of those things that were out of her control. Finley felt just a small feeling of excitement. Finally being able to get out of that place. Her parents were abusive. She felt uncomfortable at this. A bit of guilt for trying to run away. Crept over her.
“Hey, are you ok?”
Another person on the bus asked. They looked concerneFinley'sinlays well-being.
“Oh yes, I’m fine. Just don’t usually wake up this early.”
“Okay, I know the feeling.”
Finley let out a nervous laugh as the person walked away. She felt a tightening in her chest. She didn’t like to lie but sometimes lying was good. Beneficial. Lots of the time she wished that the truth was the only way. But the world didn’t do what she wished. Sometimes she felt as if it was out to get her. Like she didn’t have any free will. As if someone else controlled everything that happened around her. The bus came to a sudden halt. It flung Finley forward. They screeched along the road. She grabbed onto the railing above for people who stood on the bus. Some people ended up on the ground. They fell from the stop. Looking up and out the front window a group of deer are walking across the road.
“Goddammit.”
Someone said looking out of the front window. This threw everyone's schedule out of time. It also gave some people an excuse for being late. Regardless, it wasn't good. Wasn’t for anyone. All this meant that Finley had less time to get away.
Someone in the group of people crowded on the bus yelled out.
“Hey! Driver, it’s 9:08! Why are we stopped!”
The driver looked back in the view mirror at the front.
“The deers crossing!”
The man sat down. Angry. The energy on the bus shifted. Shifted from anxiety and fear to anger and hatred. Felt like home. Almost as if she hadn’t left yet. The bus started again. The deer were gone. Nowhere to be seen. They went off the side of the road. As Finley sat back down she looked out the window of the bus. Staring at the forest beyond. The trees are moving past at wonderful speeds. The snow on each branch on the ground. Like a sheet of paper laid as lay on top. On the radio of the bus, Christmas music started playing. Jingle Bell Rock rock one of the older songs. She hadn’t heard that song in so long. In her, house Finley's parents never played music. She always always kept the music off. Like they were allergic to the TV they always had that on. Like as if it were to be turned off it would cause catastrophic effects. At school sometimes it was to hear the TV blaring from the living room. Nick had hearing loss in his left and right ear. No matter what it was, as long as the volume was adjustable he would have high. Sometimes it was deafening. As Finley was on the bus, she felt free like wings spreading. Outside of the window, she watched her school go by. She wasn’t stopping there. The bell rang as the bus went by. She saw some of her friends go into the building. They would have no idea that she wouldn’t return. She wanted to tell them goodbye but she couldn’t get off the bus. She looked away from the school as it went out of view. Now out in the distance, she could see the town. As they continued down the road a sign flew by. Oaksorn Finley wasn’t very familiar with it. She had only been in that town a few times because a few friends brought her there to hang out. They made a little hideout where they would be free from most of the town. A place in the forest that surrounds the town. Like a wall of trees.
