The Inspection Begins
Family functions in India are supposed to be about food, laughter, and meeting relatives.
But secretly…
they feel like free body review camps.
You enter feeling confident.
New outfit.
Nice hairstyle.
Confidence level — 100%.
Within five minutes…
Confidence level — under maintenance.
That one aunty notices you from across the hall. Her eyes scan you from head to toe like a barcode scanner.
No greeting.
No smile.
Just one question.
"Have you gained weight?"
Not "How are you?"
Not "How is college?"
Straight to body update news.
Before you recover, another relative joins.
"You were so slim before… what happened?"
Inside your mind:
Assignments happened.
Stress happened.
Late-night snacks happened.
Life happened.
The funniest part?
The same relatives who comment on your weight also fill your plate like you're preparing for war.
"Take more rice."
"Take one more laddu."
But the moment you eat…
"Careful… you're gaining weight."
At this point, even Google can't solve this confusion.
Eat — problem.
Don't eat — also problem.
Then comes the classic uncle.
"You should start exercising."
Says the man whose stomach entered the room before he did.
By the end of the function, after smiling politely and pretending everything is fine…
You realize something important.
You didn’t just attend a family function.
You survived a full body inspection
Indian relatives don't need weighing machines…
Their eyes have built-in BMI calculator.
