Nightmares
Pavement thuds under her boots as she jogs through streets, careful not to look back. She keeps her head down, eyes trained on the concrete, just a metre ahead. She can’t bring herself to look up, not with the chance a person may bear the face of her victims, not to mention the fact that there may be another Lillith MacIntyre in this universe, and who knows how society perceives them. She can’t risk someone ‘recognising her’ and causing a scene.
The sidewalk widens, the crowd dispersing to either side, standing in large groups, leaving her to navigate through the middle, right in the open. She pulls her hood further down, shielding her face as she navigates through the wads of people. She sidesteps a baby carrier, her jog slowing to an agonising crawl when she catches up to a strangely large retirement group, out for their daily bird watching parade, right in the middle of this god-awful city. She has no idea where she is, but if she was looking for a holiday destination this wouldn’t even be a thought to cross her mind.
Large buildings tower overhead; the same face plastered upon each free billboard. Cars creep up the never-ending streets, honking and screaming as if the person in front of them could move any more than an inch further.
The air reeks of petroleum, and dark, thick clouds engulf the sky, rolling and twisting, teasing with rain. She pushes forward, squeezing past an elderly woman and darting into an alley just as a thick droplet splashes onto her cheek.
She presses into the wall, disappearing into the shadows. It takes a moment before she's ready to believe no one is watching and sinks to the ground, digging her hands through her hair, and resting her head on her knees.
How could I be so stupid?
Her heart pounds as reality sets in.
I’m free, but not forever. They’ll come after me, I know that. I’m too valuable for them to just let me go. In saying that, they wouldn’t have a trail to follow if I had gone just a second earlier. Of course I had to leave it for the last second, leaving them enough time to rip the button out of my hands before the world disintegrated in front of me, my body flipping through universe after universe until I landed here. So now they have a way to find me. Maybe not straight away, but they’ll figure it out, and when they do find me? I’m not sure I’ll be so lucky.
She glances up, her gaze landing upon a large, brick clocktower, its hands portraying five thirty. She groans, laying her head back against the brick wall. With no ID, citizenship or money there’s no way she's getting a hotel, so this alley will be her home for however long it takes her to figure out what to do, or for HYDRA to come and capture her again. For the first time in her life, she thanks the serum for abolishing her need for food or water, because she really doesn’t feel like becoming a thief just for some basic sustenance.
Days pass by like seconds, involving a walk around the block and multiple hopeless plans.
There is genuinely nothing she can do.
She doesn't have any materials, no instructions, no money. She can’t show her face or speak up - not that she'd want to; the fear that if she starts talking, she may say something stupid or just burst into tears. So, she'd rather keep quiet and bury her memories and thoughts deep down, masking them with the familiar numbness she knows all too well.
She gasps awake, her heart pounding as she gropes blindly for something to ground herself. The sound of his neck cracking and the sight of blood bubbling up and out of his mouth replays over and over, haunting her along with the thousands of others just waiting to pounce at any given moment. She groans, heaving herself up, rubbing at her eyes and ears to rid of the memory. Slowly, she stands, using the wall as an aid. She inhales deep, deciding to start her walk early to clear her mind.
She slips out onto the street, careful to stay near the wall, keeping one eye on her surroundings as she walks, her arm heavy in her pocket, ready if the time calls.
“Ma’am?” a voice calls from behind her. She glances right, curious as to who they were calling for. “Ma’am!” The voice repeats, closer now. She tenses, speeding up to keep away. “Ma’am, no! I’m talking to you!”
She swallows, keeping her head hidden from view.
He’s obviously not calling for me… right?
“Maybe she’s deaf?” Another voice perks up from right behind her. “Ma’am-” A hand reaches for her right arm and she spins, knocking it away. It’s a guy, maybe around 20, with short, fluffy brown hair and pale skin. His eyes widen with contact, and amusement flickers through her blood. He clearly wasn’t expecting a metal arm. She spins back around, eager to get back into the safety of the dark alley when a figure appears in front of her, holding their hand up, motioning for her to stop. It’s another man, taller this time, with blue eyes, and a black baseball cap placed upon short, dirty blonde hair.
“Hey, hey-”
She barges past him, eyes narrow and jaw clenched.
“Look, we just want to talk.” A female voice speaks up, and she pauses, inhaling deep, turning her head to face the woman.
Yet another body appears next to her. He’s tall, with brown hair and older, maybe 50. He’s wearing sunglasses topped with a cocky look that makes her want to punch him right in the jaw to get rid of that smirk.
“My name,” He pauses as if she didn’t speak his language, “Is Tony.” He motions to his chest. “What’s yours?” his hands point towards her and she adjusts her balance, preparing for the worst. She exhales, her eyes flicking to find each and every escape route.
“Nothing that concerns you.” her voice is gravelly and low, her body tense and prepared.
“She speaks!” He grimaces, stepping in her way as she tries to maneuver around them. “Yeah, you’re not done just yet.”
She tilts her head, standing up tall, staring each person in the eye, trying to pick their weaknesses. There’s five people standing around her, and six more on an outer ring. Two females, the rest males. They are a unique bunch - some look strong, like they’ve been training for years, others look more smart and nerdy, with glasses and awkward standing positions. Yet one really stands out to her. He’s standing the furthest away, arms crossed against his chest and ash blanched hair, swoops down his forehead and dances on his neck. His eyes are a deep blue - and heavy - like they carry a lot of weight. His eyebrows are low and thick, and his mouth is slightly downturned at the corners. A light covering of hair spread across his chin and upper lip.
He reminds her of herself in some way, distant and marked by memories,
“-I asked you a question?” Tony’s words interrupt her thoughts, dragging her back to reality. She glares up at him through her forehead as he repeats his words.
“How old are you?”
“You have no idea.” She replies, her gaze flicking back to the man.
“You’re right." he pauses, "that’s why I… asked the question?” he lowers his eyebrows in confusion, before shaking his head, clearing his features. “Okay, well you look maybe… 19? So, let’s go with that.”
She lifts her head slowly, the corners of her mouth pulling upward. They know absolutely nothing about her and she is loving it.
“Alright Jane Doe, we’ve been watching you-” She can’t stop herself from frowning.
Creepy?
“-and you’ve been out here for five days, and you haven’t done anything but take a walk around the streets and come right back. You don’t get any food, you don’t drink any water, it’s just sleep, walk, repeat.”
She sighs, barely stopping herself from rolling her eyes. That’s another thing to put on the list of things she didn’t do - look human.
“And we want to know how you’re still alive.” He finishes, looking at her, expecting a response, yet when she doesn't reply, he continues. “I mean you’re not even extremely malnourished! You’re just-” He motions to her body, words failing him for the first time this whole conversation. A woman steps in front of him, her red hair blowing in the wind.
Her voice is serious and stern, yet her eyes give off a sort of warmth that has Lillith's soul craving for more. “We ran your face through all NYC databases, then American, then worldwide. You’re nowhere. According to the government, you don’t exist. So, we're going to give you two options. The first is that you come with us back to our compound, you answer our questions and you let us help you. The other is we call the police and they have you taken to the station for questioning. I guess the difference is with us, you get a bed, food and a place to call home, with them, you get a dusty cell. So, what are you going to choose?”
Her heart pounds. She can’t choose either, because one way or another they will find out about her past, and she'll either get killed, or sent back to where she came from. She breathes in slowly, masking the changing of her position to accommodate for the people surrounding her.
“Yeah, I choose door three.” She darts out, sidestepping Tony and out and around the woman. Someone grabs her from behind and she ducks out of their grip, sending a punch right across their jaw. An arm reaches out yet she grabs them first, pulling them forward and sending them flying with one kick to their stomach.
“Super soldier!” Someone shouts as a body comes crashing into her. She rolls sideways, kicking them off, yet they don’t budge. Lillith groans, confused.
I'm always stronger, why is this any different?
She rolls over in their arms, managing to break her arm free and pummels them twice in the face before she is dragged away.
“Kid this doesn’t have to end in a fight!” someone yells as pain recoils up her back, her body crashing into the concrete path. Screams echo through the street as pedestrians back away, phone flashlights bright in her eyes.
She twists, jumping up, coming face to face with the man from before. He unzips his jacket, throwing it on the floor revealing a silver arm below. Lillith freezes, her eyes widening and gaze flicking from his arm to her own. With each look, similarities flare. She rolls up her sleeve, revealing her own metal arm and his eyebrows lift, surprise flashing across his features before disappearing behind a mask of numbness. She does the same, yet as he begins to prowl forward, she darts right, sprinting across the road just before the lights go green, giving her just enough time to cover herself into the crowd as they struggle to navigate the rush of traffic.
