Rebuilding Heartstrings

This was the single worst decision I could have ever made. I was already loaded up with things to do but I just had to add on homecoming court, all because of some bitches. A few months ago I had a falling out with my old friend group and they bashed me so hard that I had been labeled a backstabbing whore. All publicity is good publicity am I right?

And all I did was respond to a text.

Back in August right when school started my ex bestfriend Kelce had this huge crush on this guy Chris who just happened to be in my math class. One day he randomly added me on snapchat and started asking me about the math work, it started completely innocently, until he decided to send me a snap of his dick and asked me if the diameter of my lips could fit his bbc. Disgusting. I wasn’t used to male attention, I wasn’t the supermodel of the friend group, I was the brain. So getting this attention was really different for me but I wasn’t going to do that to Kelce, she was my best friend after all. I told him to go straight to hell but instead of leaving me alone he decided to save the picture and say “if you ever want to see it again.”

Well when Kelce saw this, she ran with it. She accused me of trying to steal Chris from her which was already crazy considering that he wasn’t hers to steal. I tried to tell her that I had nothing to do with him but she was sure of it. In her eyes I seduced him and screwed him because no one looked at me the way they looked at her, that bitch swore up and down that I was always jealous of her so I did whatever I could to take things from her. The audacity.

Playing devil’s advocate, she was sort of right. I did envy the way Kelce carried herself and how that brought her attention. Her hair was always done, her makeup was always flawless, and her nails were always in a fresh set. She was drop dead gorgeous and she knew it. A part of me wondered what I could look like if I styled myself like her but my glow up has yet to come. When Kelce decided not being friends wasn’t enough for her, she took my other two friends, Marlee and Andrea with her, then as a trio they decided to spread around the school that I tried to steal her crush. This forced Cedar High’s student body to brand me with a scarlet letter I didn’t earn.

Everyone shunned me, rumour grew as they traveled up and down the hall, and people whispered rude things about me or they full on said them in the bathroom not knowing I was in the stall next to them. I was cut off from whatever friends I used to have and abandoned by my teammates in athletic training. There was one thing I could do to prove to them that the damage they did to my reputation was not permanent and that was to win the junior spot on homecoming court.

It was perfect, Kelece couldn’t make it to finals last year even with seducing the baseball team to nominate her, so when I decided to run the bullying grew worse. Now it was all up in my face talking about my makeup or lack of, how I didn’t have a partner because no one wanted to run with me, but who cares? I could win on my own. And I would win, I’d have to but it was killing me to campaign. My biggest asset was my position group, the running backs. They all loved me but that was only a secured eighteen votes so hopefully they can get their teammates to back me. If they did I would go farther than Kelece ever did and then all I would have to do is win.

Running alone was already hard enough as it is but campaigning when I have practice with the boys every night, games every Friday, treatments every other Saturday morning and work every weekend night, was as draining as it could be. But I can and will do it. I had no choice, would it stop the gossip and drama? Absolutely not but it will prove to the world that the lies won’t stop me, and rubbing it in Kelece’s face would make me feel better, that’s for damn sure. Even though I was sure I would have to run on my own, having a partner would help boost my chances significantly, but who could I ask? Jaxon Rivers, quarter back I taped like twice? Yeah right. Maybe Cameron Boyle, he’s one of my running backs but I think he has a girlfriend and all that would do was push the narrative of boyfriend stealer harder than ever.

High low solo I guess.

I promoted my campaign on my social media as a solo candidate and once I posted it, I pushed it out of my mind as I drove myself to hell on Earth, Cedar High. Located right in the heart of Cedar Springs Texas, home of the wanna be frat boys and the butch blondes. And then you add me, a black woman in the swarm of all that just trying to live life and leave my mark on their world.

When I stepped in the parking lot full of F-150s and Porsches when I rolled up in my 2015 Honda Accord, at least I had a car so I have to remember to be grateful. As I walked down the aisles of the parking lot, I couldn’t help but envy the nice cars on my way in the school. My mom is a travel nurse so I had more than most people my age but way less than the actual rich kids that go to Cedar High.

Once I walked in the school my only friend, Samir, greeted me with an iced coffee. Samir and I met right around the time Kelece’s crew cut me off. He was the only person who wanted to see what the truth really was and I could never thank him enough for that.

“Here hoe, you look like you need it.”

“Trust and believe, I do.” He passed me the coffee, it was my favorite, an iced caramel macchiato with extra caramel. “Oh my goodness this is giving me so much life.” And then the realization hit me. “What’s the bad news?” Samir was always terrible at hiding his facial expressions so I knew when his face fell, some shit had hit the fan.

“So I was waiting in line at Java right and Kelce was in front of me. She was going on about how you were running for court and now she’s running too.”

“Ok so now I have to beat her.” We started walking toward the theater room for our first class as Samir went on about what he heard.

“Her and Chris are running.”

“There’s no way. I thought they didn’t even know each other.”

“Well they didn’t until…”

“Oh right, I almost forgot.” We entered the room and sat down in our usual spots, our teacher, Ms. Renolds, was always ten minutes late and that cushion always gave Samir and I time to plan my campaign.

“So who are you thinking of running with?”

“Bitch if I had a clue I would tell you but it’s looking like I’m running as a single bitch tonight.”

“Girl, with the things people say about you, running alone will definitely lower your chances.”

“I know, I know but who would want to run with me?”

“Imagine if you could get someone like Logan Harper to run with you.”

“Child please, I have never even seen Logan Harper. What makes you think he knows me?”

“A hoe could dream.” The bell rang signaling class to start but as usual we were without supervision for the next eight minutes. Samir and I switched from the topic of homecoming to our club. I was president of our school diversity and inclusion club for three years now and Samir became my VP this year, as my bestie he automatically got the role.

We had the Hispanic Heritage month program end a few weeks prior to today and next on the list was Native American Heritage month coming up in November and the population of Native Americans was damn near nonexistent. As we were just just starting to spit out ideas on how to celebrate, Ms. Renolds rushed in with her arms full of fabric for the upcoming play.

“Sorry I’m late class, like the infamous Marilyn Monroe, I’m never on time. Let’s get started shall we?” I leaned over to Samir and whispered to him.

“She did not just compare herself to Miss Monroe.” Samir snickered back at me right as Ms. Renolds locked her gaze on us.

“Luna and Samir, you’re feeling comical this morning, why don’t you start off our warm up with an improv scene?” She gestured for us to come down from the risers that filled the room and as we walked to the center of the floor Samir whispered to me.

“Just know, I will hate you forever for this.”

“Shut up and start the damn scene.”

After that disaster of a class Samir and I parted ways as I headed to math. We wouldn’t see each other again until history in fifth period, after that I had two off periods and then my last one being athletic training which would then spill over to practice. Today was a walk through since we had our game tomorrow so it’ll be less busy.

The rest of my day went by slowly, hated math, loved chemistry, and gossiped with Samir during history. My mom was traveling to North Carolina so I was on my own until she came back next Monday so the house was empty, per usual. Any normal teen would take this chance to either throw a massive party or invite their boyfriend over to screw him, I however had no boyfriend or the friends to throw a party, and I was ok with that.

When I got home to an empty house, I unwind for all of ten minutes before I deep dive into my studies and that if I don’t have to work. Today and tomorrow, I have the day off so I get an entire twenty minutes this week to relax, yay me. I set my things down in the corner of my room and I fell into my bed face first. Without looking I grabbed my bonnet and put it over my hair, I should have put a band over it since I got my hair done last week but I’m too exhausted to even grab it.

After I laid in my bed and wallowed for all of five minutes I stumbled into the kitchen, my mom always filled it when she’d be gone for a while, not liked she cooked when she was here but at least she cared enough to make sure I didn’t starve, most people’s parents wouldn’t care these days so I have to be grateful my mom does, even if she isn’t around much anymore. I opted in for some Italian sliders and some chips for my light lunch/dinner. These nights I spend alone, I get this silence that I wish for in school, I get it at home in the dark and out there on that field during practice.

I decided to skip my studies for the night and actually enjoy the time off. I don’t get much of it to have fun or if that’s what one would call campaigning, scrolling on TikTok, and planning a cultural celebration. Even my rest is work as long as it isn’t homework or actual work. I dove into my list of tasks, checked in with my mom, and the night actually went by pretty quickly as I checked off task after task. When I deemed myself done for the night, I sat back on my bed and relaxed, actually relaxed for a quick second and I took it all in. Within the span of three months I had lost my friends, gained Samir, been shunned by my teammates, and had more talk about me in these months and the last three years of high school.

It was hard to acknowledge the fall I had taken but I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind as I focused on the emotion that would get me through this campaign, pride. Pride was the only thing I had to keep me sane through all of the things I carry, pride is why I fill my transcript with extracurriculars and classes that are way too difficult for me to be in in order to get into a great college. It’s the reason why even though none of the girls on the team with me like me, I stay on because not only do I love being an athletic trainer, I hate to give them the satisfaction of me leaving. It fuels me better than four redbulls.

I decided it might be better for my mind if I ran solo so I created my social media flyer on Canva with the best picture of myself I had from last year. Kelece had taken some birthday photos for me when I was the most stunning I had ever looked, coincidentally I borrowed her dress. I swapped my normal sew-in for knotless braids that touched the start of my back which was long for me, it was eighteen inches, that’s my maximum length so far. The dress was a deep purple that complemented my dark skin very well, I felt like a goddess but that was a long time ago and I no longer felt radiant.

Once I posted the flyer on social media it was final, I sent it to Samir and our club’s group chat hoping I could secure enough nominations to make it to finals and wipe that smug ass look off of Kelce’s face but until next week, we’ll never know. I let social media do its thing as I switched between TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat. I saw so many other flyers for homecoming, I started to doubt I would even come close to having enough nominations, especially after seeing how many people reposted Kelce’s and many other popular girls.

I put it out into the universe that I wanted this badly, maybe for the wrong reasons but that doesn’t really matter does it? I sent a copy of the flyer to my mom hoping she would care that I wanted to do something like this but I doubt that too. My mom wasn’t popular in school but she also wasn’t shunned like me, she just didn’t care and in her own way, it made her popular. I wanted to be like my mom, strong, blunt, and walk on my own path just like her, I wish she noticed how much I looked up to her.

When my mom hearted my message I took that as my sign to tell her goodnight and get some rest. We had a home game tomorrow so my day would start at 6:30AM and end around 11PM or midnight depending on how well they played. It wasn’t my turn for treatments Saturday morning so I could relax until I clock in for my shift at the Cedar Grill. I started my night routine, brush, wash my face, and moisturize, and as I started brushing I had this urge to check my social media one more time.

I opened Instagram first and stared at my profile, it needed an update so bad but I did not have the motivation to come up with a new bio or scroll and find a decent picture. When I clicked on my story and swiped up to see who viewed it, I saw a few accounts I didn’t recognize but I told myself that it was just Kelce’s crew keeping tabs on me which I was ‘t wrong for thinking, she had been stalking me since we ended our friendship, the bitch thought I was stupid sending people to stalk my social media and ear hustle when I speak to see if I say something about her. Trifling. There was this one account that caught my eye. Harps313. Who the hell was this? I decided it was best if I didn’t look into it, I didn’t want to be pissed off.

I finished my routine, banded down my lace, and slipped my bonnet right back on as I climbed into my bed. I had a big day ahead of me, I was going to campaign while we did pre-game taping. That was the best way to get the players to agree while they aren’t in game mode, bonus that I could refuse to treat them if they said no. Ok I couldn’t actually not treat them but they didn’t know that, nor did they need to. I said my nightly prayers, and shut my eyes as I enjoyed the silence.

When my alarm sounded off the next morning, it felt like I had shut my eyes ten minutes before. I had no time to feel sorry for myself, I had to get in the field, quite literally. I hurried my ass up to start my morning routine which is the same as my night routine, and packed my game day bag. I needed my shorts, my polo, my shades, and my snacks. Maybe throw some sunscreen in there, it was supposed to be pretty hot tonight but then it chills out as the sun sets, I’ll pack it just in case.

I made sure to double check my game day bag just so I know I have everything I need. Polo, check. Shorts and backup shorts, check. Student ID, check. Shades, check. Sunscreen, check. Headband and extra hair ties, check. I made a mental note to stop and grab snacks during my off period to save the food for my late night dinner since my mom would be back in a few days. After I was sure everything was ready to go, I was out the door. My school was across town so it was a twenty minute commute, thirty in the mornings since the buses go all through town and cause so much traffic, not to mention finding parking was basically impossible if you get there any time after 7:30 so I made sure to get there early and I sit in my car until it was time for me to go inside the gates of hell.

I rolled into the parking lot and found a spot in the very back, better than nothing I guess. I checked the time and waited in silence as the minute clicked down and the first bell rang letting me know it was time to meet Samir and start the day all over again. As if on cue my phone dinged with a message from the whore himself.

Don’t be mad but I won't be at school at all today.

What the fuck was I supposed to do without my bestie. I didn’t have the words to respond so I just sent him a few angry emojis as I did the walk of shame into the pitts of hell, alone. I don’t know how I was going to get through this today, I only had one off period, my hard classes, and had to face the sharks on my own. Today would be a hell of a day for me. Sitting through classes, listening to the cracking on my own name alone, and then to top it all off, I announced my campaign yesterday and I would most definitely hear some shit about it today and my bestie wouldn’t be there to support me.

The day dragged on without the shade of Samir. I sat alone in our shared classes, sat alone in the ones we didn’t share. Today was full of weird stares as I walked the halls, a little stranger than usual but I was used to it. It was off putting of how many people gave me a stank face but I never know why these days, I did hear of a new rumour that I slept with my entire position group but rumours like that went around so often ever since Kelece started that train.

I was able to stick it out long enough that I made it to my favorite part of the day, athletic training. It really was my favorite part even with being alone while on a tea, that is supposed to have your back in times like this but let’s face it, I couldn’t relate to those white girls no matter if I was shunned or not. They all had things in common, the way they grew up, wealth, popularity of some sort, and from the outside looking in, it didn’t seem like they had a care in the world for things that didn’t apply to them. It’s like they walk around with their blonde bun and brunette braids and don’t have to face the world alone because there will always be someone like them around this part of town.

I envy how close of a group they are sometimes and I often find myself wishing to be a part of it more times than I care to admit. There was a time I tried to be a part of their group, I tried to be involved because it does go both ways and it never went well. I tried to hangout with the girls but I would never hear back, and when I tried to join the conversation I found that I couldn’t put my two cents in there anywhere because half the time I have no clue what they were talking about.

So now I just mind my own, stay in my lane. I step in to tape and if I can, I will try to help others with their skills, showing them better ways to tape here and there and it does seem to help the team improve overall, so I can say I did my part. It wasn’t just about being the best, I loved being an athletic trainer with all of my heart. I think it’s a great profession for me with the fast paced gamedays, the routine that changes constantly, eventually traveling the world. Not to mention, it goes against the stigma of being black and only having interests in sports and music, but I guess it’s still sports related but it’s a different side of it.

Being on those sidelines every Friday night, hearing the crowd, seeing the action up close and personal was great but I think my favorite part of it was the athletes. I’ve heard some pretty disgusting stories from my running backs but I have also heard some of the stories that will make you look at them differently. You form a bond with them that’s similar to raising children on some days and then seeing your best friend on some other days. Once I had one of mine ask me for advice on how to ask this girl to be his girlfriend and people don’t do that these days. Even hearing the stories from my coaches about how their athletes bonded with them so tightly that they have been there for every milestone including weddings, baby showers, anniversaries. It was amazing to think I could be that special in someone’s life just by taking care of them.

That is why I push myself to be the best, I want to do this for the love of the game rather than the love of the boys like other people think. So when it came to stepping in that training room, being one of my kind, I truly lit up and became a different person especially on gamedays. I typically help out around the training room but on gamedays I run point. During the summer I went to every training camp I could and learned so many things like different taping techniques, how to tape quicker, better turf tape application, and I used what I learned on gamedays to make the chaos settle a little faster than it would normally. I really tried to work my way up to being captain and I think my coaches recognized that.

So when I stepped in today it was go time. I greeted my coaches like normal and took off to do my gameday prep, bottles, stock, and ice. We needed ten coolers full of ice, seven coolers for the field, two coolers for each locker room, and one for injury ice and once I started there was no stopping the gameday flow. Time flew as hurricane Luna stormed throughout the training room moving from space to space just moving and grooving as I filled coolers, restocked the tape, then taped the boys. I was in my zone and I felt so empowered just by doing the thing I loved, in a way I felt more connected to my mom.

She was always traveling and taking care of people and I think she liked it as much as I loved training. She may come home drained and worn out but she got this certain aura about her when she got a new assignment in a new city. We didn’t share many moments but something I always looked forward to was hearing about the places she got to see and sometimes if she goes a place I always wished to see, she’ll bring me something back like I got a ceramic jewelry plate when she came back from Italy, I learned the language and always hoped to make a trip there so when my mom went she made sure to take many pictures and speak to the locals about the culture so she would have something to share when she came back.

So doing this, traveling to different surrounding cities, taking care of my group of athletes, and learning something everyday, I felt like my mom. We may not be super close but at least I had a parent who cared in her own way, unlike some of the student body here who’s parents just threw cash in their face and sent them about their day. I had a lot to complain about but I also had much to be grateful about, the rich kids had their own hardships that I pray I won’t have to face but sometimes I wonder if I would rather have theirs.

The leftover time in the ATR was a drag, after my high of hard work and grinding it out, it was nothing but the rest of the team, music I didn’t like, and food. We get a pre-game meal on gamedays, not as nice as the players but free was free, today it was Jersey Mikes which was better than what most athletic trainer teams get, especially in high school. I ate my sub in silence as the rest of the team sang horribly to Jason Derulo and Taylor Swift. I liked Jason but I could not stand the Swifties, I just think her music was so basic and why choose her when you have Adele or Beyonce? Music with soul and emotion and plots, not just a sad country singer singing diss tracks about her exes, it's the same pattern all the time.

While they vibed, I scrolled through my socials until it was time to load the bus and head to the stadium. Even though we technically played at home, Cedar Springs is so small we share the stadium with the middle school so we rode a bus across town and unloaded at the stadium a few hours before kickoff. Once we were off the bus it was all hands on deck, typically I don’t speak to the other girls on the team but when it came time to gameday set up, everyone came to me asking where should they put this and where should they put that and like a leader I knew every answer. Once the field was set up we got a chance to chill but once the game started we were on our feet.

When halftime came we were up by twelve and the boys were cocky, this team we played was undefeated and had been talking all that hot shit since the beginning of the year so kicking their ass and being up by a good amount of points were giving our team an extra ego boost. Two of my running backs and the star quarter back, Cooper King, struck up a conversation with me as the game started back up. We moved with the flow of the team as we teased each other about homecoming.

When it came to the athletes, I tried not to get too involved as a trainer. There was already a rumor going on about me in school, so if I did anything, it would find its way back to the wrong person in some way, shape, or form, and then I’d be the bad guy but it wasn’t like we couldn’t be normal friends. The jokes kept rolling as we walked up and down the field and it was all fun and games until Cooper pointed off into the distance but I didn't get too caught up in trying to see who he was pointing to.

I kept my eyes locked in on the game, ready to sprint out onto the field when the coach yelled timeout. Whoever they were pointing and making fun of, he was big as shit, I could see him out of the corner of my eye. A big ass white boy with brown hair, I couldn’t make out his eye color but he also wasn’t in a jersey, he must be a coach. I tried to stop fooling around with the boys as he got closer but I noticed he had a boot on his foot, an injured player, if he was this big why haven't I noticed him before?

After my confirmation that he wasn’t a coach I was able to freely speak to the boys but the huge man got closer and closer and the jokes about him got louder and louder. He had to be someone important, a player they missed or even alumni but I doubt that. No one ever returns to Cedar Springs and for good reason. So when this guy joined the conversation, I continued on about my business until there’s a tap on my shoulder.

“Are you a junior?”

It was the big ass stranger, I thought why the actual fuck is this big ass man asking me what grade I was in?”

“Yeah I am, why?”

“Because we’re running against him,” he points to the player on the left. “On the homecoming court.”

Confused wasn’t even the word. I was trying to figure out who this man thought he was, just putting me in this competition. Apparently, while I was watching the game, the group of boys was all in a conversation about who was going to win, and they wanted to beat Cooper King, the guy who, him and his girlfriend, Rose Godwin, won everything. To be fair, they were both perfect and extremely nice.

And my dumbass wanted to beat them in something too, so I went along with the banter. “Hell yeah, we are.” I stuck my hand out for a dap, and to my surprise, he pulled me into a side hug as he kept going.

“And when we’re crowned Cooper, I can’t wait to see you wiping your tears because Mr. Perfect got beaten.”

All of a sudden, the whistle blows, and I hear the coaches screaming the word I dreaded the most.

“WATTERRRRRR. WE NEED WATER!”

And just like that, I took off to the field. I sprinted to the huddle along with two other girls from the team as we passed our bottles to the players who were dripping in sweat and stanking up the place. I tried my best not to breathe as I waited for my six bottles to find their way back to me. And by the time I got back to my spot, the boys I was talking to had disappeared in the mass of blue and yellow.

Little did I know, the big guy I met tonight was Logan Harper, Logan Harper. I knew of him but I have never met him. I had just moved to this town three years ago, and then COVID hit, so sophomore year he was completely online. I heard his name for the last two years in the conversations of my peers but he was a ghost to me. I actually started to think he didn’t exist.

He was painted as the perfect bachelor. All I heard was “Logan Harper was on varsity as a freshman”, “Logan Harper helped me in the parking lot.” They talked about this guy like he was Superman or some shit. And now, just a month later, Superman and I were officially running for the junior homecoming court spots. What a night for me I guess.

After the game Logan somehow found my Snapchat which wasn’t too hard for him considering he was on the team and could ask any of the running backs. When I saw his request I for sure was stunned. I thought he was just talking to talk, there was no way he was serious, oh but he was. From the night we met until the day we were announced as part of the finalists he was standing ten toes down, campaigning around school, boosting me up if he saw me in the halls. And this was really pissing people off.

There were plenty of girls running for homecoming court, and I knew being black in a PWI that my making the final three would piss some people off. That is why everyone is surprised that I, Luna Hawthorne, not only made the final three, but I made it with Logan Harper.Seeing my name up there with the popular crew, Logan, Rose, Cooper, Lori Maxwell, and her boyfriend, Tatum Evans, it felt very validating to me, as if it was the first step in proving that I could really do this and surprising, Logan was with me the entire time.

As the weeks went by my social status slowly began to climb as I became more associated with Logan and less with the lie Kelece told. I gained a few more followers on instagram, the number of dirty looks decreased significantly, and school just had a brighter vibe all around. It made the countdown until the final results go by so quickly I damn near forgot to pick up my dress.

Things had a brighter tone at home too, my mom was back from her work trip and was way more thrilled about me running for homecoming than I thought she would, she said she wanted to see me in something other than my school merch which was pretty fair considering that was pretty much my wardrobe year round. The process of dress shopping and booking appointments for my hair and makeup with her was really fun and it bonded us in a special way. It reminded me of when I was a kid and had all the plastic tiaras and the chalky makeup palettes.

The day was approaching fast, and all around I saw posters promoting different couples who were running. Everyone was getting spam snaps and DMs from just about everyone who ran, including me. Deep down in my heart, I knew I wouldn’t win. The odds were stacked against me so much that the only reason I probably got that far was that I was running with Logan and not even he could save my chances but I also didn’t think I would make finals so I could be wrong and I really hope I was. It wasn’t all fabulous though, the rumours grew more and more ridiculous, and Logan made it no better. He didn’t care about the rumours, mainly because they weren’t about him half the time.

He went around the school with his head held high, confident, cocky. He even started leaning into the rumours, addressing me as bae and babe if we were in public and sneaking up behind me to sneak a hug. He got jabbed in his ribs a few times. What else was I supposed to do? A six-foot-eight man came up from behind and wrapped big, meaty arms around me; I could’ve been kidnapped for all I knew.

This drove the gossip girls crazy. They were all watching me wherever I went on campus, like seeing us together was a once-in-a-lifetime thing for them. This must be what celebrities feel like with paparazzi following them everywhere. Some of these girls even had the nerve to come up to me and ask me about this non-existent relationship. Like, when did it become official, why we never posted to each other? At that point, I just started ignoring them, walking off in the middle of their sentences, sometimes cutting them off right when they began. I got labeled as a rude bitch just because I didn’t want to feed into their madness. I was fed the fuck up, and the one person who could shut them up was Logan himself, so I had to find him.

I had a free period next with about thirty minutes left in my chemistry class, so I texted him on snap.

Is your free period next?

I didn’t think I’d hear from him for another hour, but to my surprise, he responded before I even put my phone on my desk.

Are you summoning me, your highness?

I suppose I am. We need to talk

Ok, meet me at my truck when you get out of class

Bet

I waited the next twenty-five minutes, and once the bell rang, I rushed out of the class and down the back stairs in order to semi-beat the class change rush. People stormed the halls, laughing, screaming, shuffling to their next class. It was like fiddling through your way in a black friday sale. After three minutes of prying my way through the mass of people, I got to the parking lot. I tried to be quick because my free period was only an hour and fifteen minutes long.

I don’t know what car or truck I was looking for; despite what people thought, I had no idea what he drove. So I walked in the direction of my car, hoping he would stand out since he was as big as the Eiffel Tower. I kept my head on a swivel, hoping I could spot him and stop looking dumb out here in the open parking lot full of people I would have to see tomorrow.

“Luna.” I knew it was him the moment my name hit my ears. I turned to my right, and I saw him standing next to his big white Ford 150, typical for the boys around this area. He waved me over, him being only a few rows down for me, a short walk that I made. As I got closer, he started complimenting my outfit for the day, and I told him to back off. He gave me a hug and opened the passenger seat of his truck.

“Oh, what a gentleman you are,” I said sarcastically as I settled in his passenger seat. “Are your windows tinted?”

“What, worried people thinking we’re in here doing rated R things?” He looked at me and winked as a stupid boyish grin spread across his face. “It’s like they don’t think that already.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk, why are you playing into the rumours? People think we’re actually dating.” Logan just laughed. He was chill about this, like he didn’t care how the stories affected me as long as they made him look good. Maybe he wasn’t the golden boy people painted him to be. Logan reclined his seat back slightly and started the truck. I looked at him like he was crazy. “Where do you think you are taking me?”

“Relax, we’re not going anywhere, babe. It’s just kind of cold.” He dialed up the heat and relaxed as he ran a giant hand through his brown hair. “Listen, I know these rumors seem important, but they’re not. People have made rumours about me since middle school, now I let them believe what they want. We can’t stop them from playing make-believe.”

“But we can also not feed into the drama. You’re making them create more and more rumours.”

“So what? I can’t give you a nickname, encourage you, or even hug you? Luna listen, no matter what we do or say, people are going to take things and run to the moon with it. And there’s nothing we can do to stop it. Once homecoming is over, people will get over us.” He had a point. People are itching to see if we would beat everyone’s favorite couple, Cooper and Rose. They have won every year, so people want to see if someone could finally beat them; the stakes are high.

“You know what, Fig Leaf, you make a solid case. It’s not that serious.”

“It’s not, people are going to write books, why not be the main characters?”

“Okayyyy, you kinda cleared with that one.” He chuckled a little as he seemed to relax even more, knowing after giving him my approval. And then he did the unthinkable.

“Want to ride with me? I need to go to the store and get snacks for the away game.” Did he just ask me to go with him, the devil is a lie. He might have made a solid point about the rumours, but there is no way in hell I was going to spend my remaining free time strolling down the aisles of Walmart with him.

“Absolutely not, Harps. I got about an hour left to spend my free time, and I prefer to spend it with someone my size. But you can drop me off at my car if you’re still feeling like a gentleman.”

“Suit yourself, your royal highness. I’ll see you at practice tonight.” He switched the truck from park to drive and dropped me off at my car. Before he pulled off, he gave me another hug and even opened my car door. As I buckled in, I watched him drive off, and I wondered if I would have considered going with him if all the drama wasn’t going on, what it would be like to be normal friends.

I decided to not wonder too much about what could be, I had three days to win this title and I planned on going home to prepare for it. I had a digital flyer and I was wondering if physical ones were even necessary, I honestly felt like mine would be ripped down by people who hated me. My best resource was my campaign partner.

He was popular, everyone loved him. Before I knew him people described him as always there to help, a big flirt, literal superman. Me on the other hand, I was labeled a rude, conceited, cocky, pick me girl who most people wanted to see fail. Some of it I deserved, I made mistakes that I’m not proud of, but most of it was completely unwarranted. Being a female trainer there’s already the stigma of sleeping with your team when you’re good at that job and then you have internal drama of being on the team. Being singled out as one of the only black finalists and trainers, it was almost comical how much of an outcast I had become.

But winning this title meant the world to me.

Not because of acceptance, nothing would change if I won and I knew that. Winning would mean that no matter what odds were stacked against me, I could persevere, I could overcome it all. Being crowned on that field looking at all the people who rooted for me to fail, watching them watch me succeed despite their biggest wishes of me to fall, that meant something to me. It meant everything to me.

On the drive home I decided to take Logan’s advice, lean into those rumours, doing the opposite proved to do nothing in my favor so why not try it out? I had a new outlook on the situation, a positive one. In the rest of my free time, I spent it preparing what I would say when the gossip girls came to me for information about this relationship and I planned to milk the living daylights out of it.

Before I prepared to head back to school for practice, I texted Logan to meet me at the entrance, we were going to prove them right. Absolutely spin this shit in our favor without crossing boundaries, and he agreed just like I knew he would. For the next two days we showed up together everywhere, I stayed near him in the training room, I greeted him with hugs, walked to class together, but we acted and talked like best buds.

It’s actually funny how because we were friendly with each other, just friends no weird shit, it was easy for people to believe we were an item. Hell they believed it before I started to play along. Logan even went as far as to start trying to match with me for the final theme days.

The way we spun the situation changed everything for me.

Being Logan Harper’s unofficial official girlfriend came with a whole new social class that I never thought I would get to see in that school. I could walk the halls without dirty looks, the rumours stopped finding their way back to me, I actually gained a few more followers from another story mentioned. That moment of blessed relief I get from being on the field, I felt that throughout the day now. Instead of keeping my head low, sneaking down back hallways with Samir, going off campus in order to gain another moment, I could live.

The day of the results was huge. Logan and I had talked about what we would wear, the other finalist and I met up to help decorate our float, believe it or not the girls and I became good friends. They encouraged me to keep pushing, I could vent to them about what I was going through, we actually loved talking to each other. We were all on the same page.

How that night went was first there was hair and makeup, I had two free periods stacked and there was no practice since football had their own float for the parade. I had so much time to go and get glammed up, a way no one has ever seen me before. A way I never saw myself before. Once I was ready, I had little time to take solo pictures before heading to the meetup point for everyone on court.

I drove to the nearby neighborhood to meet the finalist, my phone was blowing up with messages.

5 messages from Samir

8 messages from Logan Harper

2 missed audio calls from Logan Harper

My heart skipped a beat. Was this what I heard about, was he setting me up to be embarrassed? I decided to skip the messages and just return his call before I even went to find our float. The phone rang twice before he picked up.

“You almost gave me a heart attack, babe. Where are you?”

“I just got to the neighborhood, what’s going on, you’re on your way right?”

“I’m already here, don't worry but Cooper and I have to ride on the football float. I didn’t want you to worry that’s why I was blasting you.”

“Ok as long as your big ass is on that field, we’re good. Good luck Harps.”

“Good luck Luna.” He called me Luna? Since the fuck when? I hung up the phone and got to walk to meet up with the other finalist.

The parade went smoothly, I had my supporters there, Samir, my favorite teacher, my mom. I could feel the nerves in my stomach as we entered the parking lot. Lori and Rose were also nervous. I’m not sure why Rose was nervous, she reigned every year, Lori and I were scared because of her. We all talked as we walked to our starting places, we were lined up by grade. Freshmen first, the sophomores, then us. After the winners of the juniors were announced, the finalists for the seniors would be called and everyone else would have to wait until Friday for the Queen.

I was a bundle of anxiety, Logan and Cooper had found their way to us but it didn’t ease how I was feeling. Logan stood behind me in the line.

“Your highness, you look beautiful.”

“You mean I look like a girl.” This was true. My dress a pink floor length dress with gold accents, it was cut out on my waist so it showed off the weight I lost during the summer of football. My hair was longer than I ever wore it, twenty-two inches long when I normally stopped at eighteen inches. It flowed down my back and curtain bangs were shaping my face that was snatched to the Gods in full glam.

My deep brown eyes were covered in golden eye shadow, my lips were painted burgundy color with a little shimmer gloss, I looked incredible.

And Logan Harper knew it.

Logan and I had small talk until we were standing together lined up. The freshmen were called the sophomores. It was our turn. The crowd stopped clapping and the announcer spoke.

“And the winners for the juniors are…Rose Godwin and Cooper King!”