Soon She Must

Prologue

i would meet Kevin when I was about eighteen years old and we were supposed to be in love. And we were until Sandra would come into the picture. She had just moved from the next town over and I had no clew about her existence at all. I was on vacation when this happened and also to add more insult to injury i was just coming out of a major depressive episode. I had the usual lunch with him and we were talking when Sandra would say, “hi Kevin!”

“Who was that,” I demanded for this final time. “Who the fuck was that?” I was almost ready to cry at her ‘hi.’ I started ti cry when I saw my friend Tisha waiting for me as if she knew.

“He was cheating on you with her,” Tisha said. “She is a slut!”

”slut,” I asked being crushed by the word. “How long was this going on.”

”since you left for vacation,” i heard her say. “I tired to warn Kevin about your “temper! Sorry.”

I would walk home from high school with this playing out in my mind. “Hi Kevin!” She said as she walked by.

I would tell my Muslim neighbour about this situation an d she said, “you might want to brake up with him!”

“What,” I asked.

”thou shalt not commit adultery!” I heard her say. “We have zero tolerance for cheating even in dating!”

”well I agree about that.” I walked out of her house and started to text Kevin that we were going to break up. I also had to agree as the act of cheating was a form of abuse and ignorance…..

i would soon be cursed by the dating gods and I never had to date him again though I ended up dating worse guys than him…..

chapter 1

i would be coming out of yet another fucked up relationship when Kevin would see me at the movie theatre with friends. I was going to see a romantic movie with friends and I would recognize him working the concession stands. I never saw him here before. “What the hell are you doing here,” I said as a realized who he was again. “What the fucking hell are you doing here?”

and his crime was just smiling snd saying, “hi Eniko!” I never been so unreasonable but I was. I wanted to just scream though I also wanted dignity in not being on YouTube or worse the news.

my parents would not raise me to be like a jackass. But this was so tempting to be hateful. Though I also remembered the Muslim neighbour’s talk I had that fateful day.

you will need to forgive the person who wronged and sinned against you as god would forgive you for what you did wrong….. I know it is hard to do so especially when it is someone you are in love with.

I would hear these words ring through my mind as I would try to sleep that was all that was on my mind was something seeing myself almost loose control and I would here these wise words i would here in my head. Kevin and I were the same age, 25 when I would see him in the theatre. I would be starting to go insane and my blonde hair was everywhere. I was sure I would end up on YouTube. It was a certainty.

i would go up to the laptop and I started to search the YouTube for spazz outs in movie theatres. Though I saw more men then women. I never saw my self on there as the viral attraction. Thank good god!i would soon tried to get some sleep though I was tossing and turning

you will need to forgive the person who wronged and sinned against you as god would forgive you for what you did wrong….. I know it is hard to do so especially when it is someone you are in love with.

never had I been so sleepless about an ex, usually I would see them and not give a rats ass (or shit) about them. But this was rather traumatic for me. It would seem like he was trying to assault me, this was not the case but I treated this like a personal attack to my self.

I should forgive though I wasn’t ready to do so! I wanted to just for get about this situation. I wanted a lot of things and Kevin was not involved with any of them. I woud see the dawn breaking in the sky. It was going to be morning.

I wanted to find the right person. But I never was so upset to see an ex but this guy deeply hurt me so bad in high school and the teenage to 25 year old brain would be nit even processing the idea of forgiveness especially when Tisha was your friend. She believed in an eye for eye and getting back at some through pranks.

i wanted to do the same thing as I wanted in high school, get back at him. Though he was clueless then and he still did not remember this incident at all. This was what drive me insane.

I started to write about something or any other. I was just getting back from a bad case of writers block which is annoying to say at least. I woukd soon I started to for give what I was writing about.

i wanted to remember so I backtracked a few chapters and started to jog my memory. It was an erotica novel I remember that I thought to my self. I was writing about a taboo relationship for that matter. It was an incestuous relationship i know that. It was rather interesting though I would get writers block. I never had writers block though I had been having a pissy winter for that matter. It would be like the 98 ice storm that woukd be so dangerous that I would not be able to get out side to even walk.

i wanted just ti write and eat and bathe. But this was not a good expierence with this. I never seen anything like this winter. The Snow would be aboht a foot High as I had it shovel it again.

i also wanted ot shovel shit where shit needed to be shovelled to. Though I wanted to shovel Kevin into the toilet still. This was rather funny to see the Kevin get thrown into the toilet effectively destroying the toilet.

i Just wanted to write and the draw for the next day. I would be preoccupied with how I believed in the movie theatre concession stand. I would soon have to forgive the bastard for what he did, he was after all a teenager with raging hormones and high school was not quite real world yet. Also I was going through some hard things in life back then. But it is rahter interesting how somethings would just leave a rotten taste in the mouth.

i woukd soon see that I had to get over my self just to move on with life. Though I never once believed in love at first sight after the Sandra incident . I just could not bring myself to go about including him into my life as I did not want to in the first place.

also I would hear a bunch of rumours about him walking in BDSM club as a paid submissive and that he had many women at his sexual side since me and Sandra. I never thought about even for giving him on anything. Also I would say this to the neighbour If she were still alive, “I just can’t bring my self to accept that he would be part of my life again. This was like a personally attack on my being. I wanted to find out why he was working the job of male whore and nose around in his business to see if he did not learn his lesson.

i looked up Kevin Barrie on Facebook and saw that every selfie was either erotic or with another woman. I just said there staring at my laptop and found that I had not written a word at all.

i literally thought he was a moth drawn to a dangerous flame. And I was the flame And I wanted to burn the moth for what I had to deal with in high school. Let’s say I don’t take my mental health as a joke. I wanted to just move on but he obviously did not move on with his life he was tripping to think he had another chance with me. And thar was for damn sure. I would bump into him many times before I had to let him back into my life again which was rather annoying.

but call me neurotic about everything. And skeptical about finding a second chance relationship with him.