What is your opinion?
Keep up the momentum!
"You have less then ten chapters written, but just from that, I can already tell it's going to be a fun ride. Your language is absolutely beautiful, and I'm personally someone who loved every description you wrote in your book. Not only that, your grammar has been impeccable despite the fact that you're not even done writing the novel yet. You've set the stage with an interesting setting and with interesting characters. A small detail I really liked are the Shakespearean names, which I think really adds color and flair to the world as well as the characters. Honestly, just keep up with what you've already written. Already, your chapters flowed easily into each other, and as long as you don't lose this momentum you have already built up, you're going to have a really good book with very little edits in the end."
Rise of the Horned King
"You've got a decent story here and the characters are beginning to come to life. You obviously have a good command of language and can write well. The story is enjoyable and generally keeps the attention of the reader. I think you should concentrate on the pace of the narrative. There's an awful lot of description here which can slow up the flow. Instead of feeling intrinsic to the flow it sometimes makes the reader stop and wait before taking up the plot again. There are little things that could help: use more active language. Not "seemed to appear" "appeared!" Avoid modifying words and phrases like these. Also, cut down on the present participles - all those "-ings". Sometimes a new sentence is much more direct and stops the language being too starchy. I hope these comments help. I never see the point in just writing 'yeah, it's good' We can all improve and I'm no better than anyone else. I think you've got a good story. A bit of editing (it's tedious and never ending, I'm afraid) and I think you've got a good book here. .Keep writing!"
A High Level Reading Choice
"Just by reading the descriptive summary when I first opened the book I felt like I was being thrown into an entirely different world. Obviously this writer has taken a large amount of time to fabricate a rich and descriptive world that has the ability to visually pull a reader into it. This plot is full of unexpected ideas and turns that are unlike the stereotypical fantasy/drama book. However, the level of reading can prove to be very challenging for a person who is unfamiliar with old terms and slang that was commonly used within the medieval/romantic times. Even myself, who at one point in time was an extremely dedicated poet, had to reach for google for a couple words. That being said, there were only a few grammatical errors littered throughout the story. Unnoticeable for someone skimming the text. A few automatic spell changes perhaps? Or a mis-typed key here and there? My criticism is I feel as though at some points this book is incredibly descriptive then it is engaging with dialog. Personally, I feel like sometimes letting the characters use their words versus describing what they are thinking is a good way to develop social communications within a book as well as maintain the interest of your readers; giving them a break in the text is always nice too. But that is just my opinion (and I'm sure it varies per person). I felt like at points I was struggling to read through the extremely long descriptive sentences, but the grammar was used appropriately which made it easier to read. Overall, I really enjoyed the five chapters I read. I think this story has good potential to become something great and I look forwards to seeing how the new prince blossoms into a realm conquering, blood breathing, dragon lord that will take down the foes that are upon him! Happy writing! Jackie Cole"
I am intrigued!
"I'm a picky reader, so I will start by saying that this is only the second story that caught my attention here so far. The first thing I noticed about Mr. Allen's writing was a style reminiscent of classic fantasy. It is rich in description and atmosphere, with an intriguing approach to an oft-visited mythology; dragons. This feels like a new concept to me. For constructive criticism, I will say that the richness of language can also be a hindrance. As fully developed as the world is, the sentence structure is a bit too thick with descriptive terminology, which tends to drag down the dialogue somewhat. I think paring down the opening chapter will give the story a stronger hook. A minor technical note; commas are kind of all over the place. Less is more. Overall, I think this story has lots of potential and is set in an interesting dynamic. A lot is going on and the anticipation for 'what comes next' is high. Keep up the good work!"
