Jacklyn Cole

I am a college student that enjoys writing fantasy/romance novels that excite the mind. I love long walks on the beach, helping my patients, and writing the occasional murder mystery!

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A High Level Reading Choice

Just by reading the descriptive summary when I first opened the book I felt like I was being thrown into an entirely different world. Obviously this writer has taken a large amount of time to fabricate a rich and descriptive world that has the ability to visually pull a reader into it. This plot is full of unexpected ideas and turns that are unlike the stereotypical fantasy/drama book. However, the level of reading can prove to be very challenging for a person who is unfamiliar with old terms and slang that was commonly used within the medieval/romantic times.
Even myself, who at one point in time was an extremely dedicated poet, had to reach for google for a couple words. That being said, there were only a few grammatical errors littered throughout the story. Unnoticeable for someone skimming the text. A few automatic spell changes perhaps? Or a mis-typed key here and there?
My criticism is I feel as though at some points this book is incredibly descriptive then it is engaging with dialog. Personally, I feel like sometimes letting the characters use their words versus describing what they are thinking is a good way to develop social communications within a book as well as maintain the interest of your readers; giving them a break in the text is always nice too. But that is just my opinion (and I'm sure it varies per person). I felt like at points I was struggling to read through the extremely long descriptive sentences, but the grammar was used appropriately which made it easier to read.
Overall, I really enjoyed the five chapters I read. I think this story has good potential to become something great and I look forwards to seeing how the new prince blossoms into a realm conquering, blood breathing, dragon lord that will take down the foes that are upon him! Happy writing!
Jackie Cole

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Review of the Princess Entourage

A love story tangled up within the themes of adventure and fantasy. The plot is very interesting- not something I was expecting. It steps out of the box of a classic adventure story too. It’s unpredictable and I’m enjoying the character buildup as the story progresses chapter by chapter. I wish there could be some relationship building between Beth and Daniel too (but maybe it's yet to come).
In terms of things I think could be improved. You could reread your story and perfect the grammar. There are more than 6-7 sentences or statements that are incoherent due to spell check changes.
I would absolutely love if you read back through and made some changes to the scenery and the background these characters are in. Is there a smell? A certain object that stands out to them in Phillips home? What color are the walls in Stella’s home?
You need to build the surroundings in order to pull the readers into the book.
That being said. I am not able to picture what the characters physical features are. Your readers should be able to draw a picture of them each time they're introduced.

Otherwise this book is definitely one I would finish reading once these changes are made! Keep up the good work and happy writing!

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Too Soon to Tell: A review of Myerium

I am basing my review off of reading only one chapter when I typically review books that are 10+ chapters. So I get to be a little bit picky!
Myerium sets up a great attention grabber and has a blurb that overviews her plot correctly. Unfortunately, that role isn’t really mentioned in the first chapter... or the dark contest that surrounds it. The first chapter I think doesn’t do justice to the wicked plot you have creeping up right around the corner- until the last line of course.
Pretend the reader didn’t read the blurb... they would have no idea what’s going on. A handful of grammatical errors were littered throughout the text which could easily be fixed by reading through the chapter one more time.
Thats really the only critism I have for this chapter! Keep It up and happy writing!
Jackie Cole

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A Rough Draft- Needs Some Work

This short story (soon to be novel) caressed the stereotypical plot of a bad guy stealing the girl away to an unknown land- but the writer illustrates the plot to make it entertaining for a younger generation. This plot reminded me of Jim Hensen’s classic movie ‘The Labyrinth’.
If this book is aiming to be a best seller the writer will have to work hard to incorporate more plot changes to make this plot less stereotypical and unpredictable for the audience to keep them on their toes.
In terms of grammar, it is easy to see that the author has not read back through the chapters. There are 30+ grammar errors including: misuse of commas, words mispelled, incorrect verb usage, and words missing that would make the text flow.
Another Critism I have for this book is that the first chapter starts out in third person and then transitions to first person for the remaining piece of the book. For some reason that really distracted me when I transitioned to the second chapter and I think it would be in the writer’s best interest to either change the story to third person or edit the first chapter.
The poetry is another story. Free styled poetry scripts on the bottom 3 chapters leave you always expecting a poem. But the final chapters are blank and had me thinking “didn’t she have a pattern going here?” You might want to take them out if you want to be consist.
I read through the prior reviews and I feel like the people before me did not give accurate critism to better your work. For me the story sits at a 3 star rating due to the problems listed above. I did enjoy the story (for sure) but I think some major changes have to be made if you plan on making this book a best seller!
Hope this helped,
Jackie Cole

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