Chapter 1 — The Chicken Incident
The palace kitchens were on fire.
Not literally.
Yet.
“WHO PUT SUGAR IN THE SOUP?!”
“I thought it was salt!”
“WHY WOULD SALT SPARKLE?!”
“That feels judgmental right now!”
Yan Rui ducked as a cabbage flew across the kitchen and exploded dramatically against the wall beside his head.
He sighed deeply.
Every morning in the imperial palace felt one inconvenience away from societal collapse.
And unfortunately, today’s inconvenience was him.
“Yan Rui!” Head Cook Wu pointed violently toward a tray stacked with golden roast chickens. “Take those to the royal dining hall before I lose consciousness!”
Yan Rui straightened immediately.
“Yes, honored master who definitely values my existence.”
“You dropped three plates yesterday.”
“In my defense, gravity is extremely aggressive.”
Nobody listened anymore.
At this point, the kitchen staff had accepted that Yan Rui survived entirely through luck and audacity.
Unfortunately, those survival methods were about to fail catastrophically.
Because at the exact moment Yan Rui grabbed the heavy tray—
Someone screamed.
Another cook slipped.
Oil splashed.
A servant crashed into a table.
And chaos erupted instantly.
Yan Rui turned in alarm.
Which was a mistake.
A terrible mistake.
The tray tilted sharply in his hands.
His eyes widened in horror.
The chickens lifted beautifully into the air.
For one peaceful moment, they looked almost majestic.
Then they flew directly through the open kitchen doors.
Straight into Emperor Shen Wuxian’s face.
Silence.
Absolute silence.
The entire palace stopped breathing.
One roast chicken slid slowly down the Emperor’s shoulder before falling onto the floor with a tragic splat.
Yan Rui’s soul left his body immediately.
Because standing in the doorway was the most terrifying man in the empire.
Emperor Shen Wuxian.
Tall.
Cold.
Dressed entirely in black embroidered silk that probably cost more than Yan Rui’s entire bloodline.
And now—
Covered in chicken grease.
Nobody moved.
Nobody breathed.
A servant in the corner looked moments away from spiritual collapse.
The Emperor stood perfectly still, staring at Yan Rui with unreadable dark eyes.
Honestly?
Yan Rui considered dying voluntarily.
It felt easier.
Then unfortunately, his mouth betrayed him.
“Your Majesty,” he blurted desperately, “respectfully… you startled me emotionally.”
The silence somehow became worse.
Head Cook Wu made a horrifying choking sound.
One palace maid actually covered her face as if execution was about to happen publicly.
Yan Rui himself wanted to cry.
Why would he say that?
Why?
The Emperor stared at him for several long seconds.
Then slowly—
Very slowly—
Shen Wuxian reached up and removed a chicken wing from his shoulder.
His expression remained terrifyingly calm.
“Emotionally,” the Emperor repeated quietly.
Yan Rui nodded weakly.
“Yes.”
A pause.
“You assaulted the Son of Heaven with poultry.”
“That sentence sounds much worse when you say it out loud.”
Someone in the kitchen whimpered softly.
Yan Rui’s survival instincts finally returned.
He immediately dropped to his knees.
“Your Majesty, I deeply apologize for this completely avoidable chicken-related tragedy.”
Another silence.
Then unexpectedly—
The Emperor stepped forward.
Closer.
Yan Rui swallowed hard.
Shen Wuxian’s presence felt overwhelming up close. Cold cedarwood and smoke surrounded him like a storm waiting to happen. His gaze alone could probably destroy governments.
Yan Rui kept his head lowered respectfully.
Mostly because eye contact felt dangerous for his continued existence.
“What is your name?” the Emperor asked suddenly.
Yan Rui blinked.
“…You want my name before execution?”
The kitchen collectively died internally.
The Emperor’s expression did not change.
“Your. Name.”
“Yan Rui.”
Another pause.
Then unexpectedly:
“You speak strangely.”
Yan Rui looked offended automatically.
“That feels rude during my final moments.”
A palace guard made a coughing noise that suspiciously sounded like hidden laughter.
The Emperor noticed immediately.
The guard almost passed away.
Shen Wuxian’s attention returned to Yan Rui afterward.
Still calm.
Still unreadable.
But something strange flickered briefly in his eyes now.
Interest.
Which was honestly more terrifying than anger.
“You are not afraid of me,” the Emperor observed quietly.
Yan Rui stared at him.
Then looked meaningfully at the chicken grease still covering imperial robes.
“Your Majesty,” he said carefully, “I am currently experiencing enough fear for several people.”
For one shocking second—
The Emperor almost smiled.
Tiny.
Barely visible.
But enough to send the entire kitchen into emotional crisis.
Because Emperor Shen Wuxian never smiled.
Ever.
The palace servants looked ready to write historical records about it.
The Emperor studied Yan Rui silently for another moment.
Then finally:
“Stand.”
Yan Rui obeyed immediately.
Shen Wuxian glanced briefly at the kitchen disaster surrounding them before speaking again.
“You work here?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“You are incompetent.”
“That is unfortunately true.”
Head Cook Wu looked deeply betrayed by Yan Rui agreeing so quickly.
Another strange flicker crossed the Emperor’s face again.
Definitely amusement this time.
Which somehow made him more dangerous.
Before Yan Rui could emotionally process this, Shen Wuxian spoke calmly to the guards beside him.
“This one.”
Yan Rui froze.
“…This one?”
“He will report to the inner palace tomorrow.”
The kitchen gasped collectively.
Head Cook Wu looked ready to faint directly into a soup pot.
Yan Rui himself stopped functioning.
“…I’m sorry,” he said weakly. “Respectfully. What.”
“You heard me.”
The Emperor turned away smoothly, already walking toward the corridor again.
Yan Rui panicked instantly.
“WAIT.”
The guards looked horrified.
Nobody yelled at the Emperor.
Nobody.
Shen Wuxian stopped walking slowly.
Yan Rui immediately regretted being alive.
“I mean— respectfully wait,” he corrected quickly. “Your Majesty, surely there are better servants available.”
The Emperor glanced at him over one shoulder.
“There are.”
“…That somehow feels insulting.”
“You threw a chicken at me.”
“That was an accident fueled by emotional distress.”
A dangerous silence followed.
Then unexpectedly—
The Emperor’s mouth curved very slightly again.
Not fully.
But enough.
“Tomorrow,” Shen Wuxian repeated calmly.
Then he left.
Just like that.
The guards hurried after him while the kitchen remained frozen in stunned silence.
Nobody moved for five entire seconds.
Then chaos exploded instantly.
“WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!”
“THE EMPEROR SPOKE TO YOU!”
“YOU THREW FOOD AT HIM!”
“HE SMILED!”
Yan Rui stood motionless in the center of the kitchen, spiritually disconnected from reality.
Head Cook Wu grabbed his shoulders violently.
“What did you DO?!”
“I don’t KNOW!”
“You’re being summoned to the inner palace!”
“That sounds fake!”
“You’re either getting promoted or executed!”
Yan Rui considered both possibilities carefully.
Honestly?
Execution still felt likely.
Especially because the Emperor’s expression before leaving kept replaying in his mind.
That look.
Cold.
Sharp.
Interested.
Like Shen Wuxian had just discovered something unexpectedly entertaining.
Which was deeply concerning for everyone involved.
Especially Yan Rui.
Because powerful men should not look at disasters with curiosity.
That was how tragedies began.
---
That night, inside the imperial chambers, Shen Wuxian sat silently while servants helped remove his ruined robes.
The scent of roasted chicken still lingered faintly in the air.
Annoying.
The Emperor dismissed the servants shortly afterward and stood alone beside the window overlooking the palace.
Quiet.
Cold.
Peaceful.
Normally he preferred silence.
Normally people exhausted him.
Normally palace servants blurred together into meaningless obedience and fear.
But today—
A strange servant with absolutely no survival instincts had thrown poultry directly into his face and somehow called it emotional distress.
Shen Wuxian should have been furious.
Instead—
He laughed softly under his breath.
The sound startled even himself.
Then slowly, the Emperor remembered Yan Rui’s expression during the chaos.
Bright eyes.
Terrified honesty.
Ridiculous commentary during near-death situations.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
Shen Wuxian looked out across the dark palace thoughtfully.
For the first time in months—
Something felt entertaining again.
And somewhere else in the palace, Yan Rui sneezed suddenly.
Then whispered fearfully to himself:
“I think my life is becoming a problem.”
