What is your opinion?
The desperate
"So far ok...im not really into reading books that have different stories goin on...hope it all comes together soon"
A Brooding, Gritty Tale
"I was very impressed with this story, particularly since its hard to do anything fresh with werewolves, vampires, and the like. What makes this story tick is its realistic, gritty detail (as others mentioned) which reminds me of early Steven King (esp. 'Salem's Lot). I love how each chapter switches perspectives, telling the story from different points of view--this is unique and skilfully done. The characters are interesting, too, as they are all extraordinarily human: I love the section in Ch.1 when Charlie is describing his infatuation with Lyla, and how she starts going out with Donovan, which should make him jealous, but he's so dorky and their love so ludicrous that he can't bear to do it (though, of course, he IS jealous). That strikes me not only as clever but quite believable: the narrator can't even admit in his narration that he's jealous. I also like how in this story the humans are the real monsters, full of darkness and depravity--again, a theme echoed in most of King's novels. This is a dark world, yet the human emotions of love, lust, hope, jealous, and revenge shines like a beacon through the gloom. A great read and one that I hope will continue in subsequent posts over the next few weeks/months."
Good but needs editing
"Despite I don't like "But" at the beginning of sentences or blurb, I have to say that the story is interesting. A few commas would help the reader to breath and it can work. Same thing for paragraph formatting. A second read will get the story more readable and hooking. Keep going on writing! Bianca"
Enjoyable
"I've never read anything that had to do with werewolves, but I certainly enjoyed this. The switching between characters provided with unique perspectives. I liked that each of them had their own attitude toward the situation. I think that you needed to add more to keep the reader going. From what I understand, there is some sort of rebellion going on? A better understanding of the situation would do more to engage the reader. Also, I would like to know more about the leeches. That might be an explanation you are saving for later, but if not, you should add more here. I wasn't sure if they were humans that hated werewolves or if they were some sort of creatures. All in all, a great start. I can't wait to read more!"
really good!
"Great job Bree! It kept me interested until the very end. Is the second chapter up? I'm new to the site, and still trying to figure out the settings. Some of your phrasing was a little repetitive, but other than that, i couldn't spot any grammatical errors. I really enjoy your writing style too! I hope you publish more stories!"
The Desperate
"The author is all over the place and hasn't made the plot clear. I get the feeling that this will be a story full of sex and sexual innuendo and I find that boring. "
The Desperate
"Very good start"
Mrs
"It's a bit confusing and all over the show. It's a bit difficult to read. Dont really know what's going on. "
