001 - Call Me the Stormbound Swordsman
A winding country road stretched ahead, bordered by broad patches of datura blossoms. Sparse trees dotted the grass beneath the heavy sky.
The clouds hung low and dark, lending the scene a stark, strangely refreshing beauty.
Ren Arashi strolled down the center of the road at an easy pace. When he spotted a teahouse perched on a hill up ahead, he felt luck was finally on his side.
Getting caught in the rain and looking like a drowned rat was not nearly as appealing as sitting under a roof with hot tea and a plate of dango.
He picked up his pace and jogged over.
There were no other customers at the teahouse. Beneath the simple canopy stood a few long benches and four tables.
A girl had been slumped over one of the tables. When she noticed a customer approaching, she hurried to her feet.
She was petite, barely around five feet tall, and dressed in brown. The skin left exposed by her clothes was pale as snow.
Short hair with neat bangs framed her small, delicate face. Two braids wrapped in white bands hung on either side, gold rings tied to their ends.
Her pale gray eyes were clear and bright. Altogether, she looked like a harmless, adorable kitten.
"What would you like, sir?"
Her voice was like a mountain stream in summer, clean and clear.
Ren looked her over with open interest, a teasing smile spreading across his face.
"I'll take one order of your sweet smile."
"Please don't tease me, sir. This shop only serves tri-color dango, tea, dried squid, and tempura."
The girl smiled faintly, her professional composure intact. She did not get angry.
Ren spared her any more bargain-bin romance. He sat down on a bench and said, "Then I'll take tri-color dango and a cup of tea."
"Right away. Please wait a moment." The girl bowed, then called toward the back, "One tri-color dango and one cup of tea."
The dango and tea would take a little while, so Ren seized the chance to keep talking.
"Miss, what's your name? And do you like green peppers?"
"My name is Fon. Green peppers are fine. I don't hate them, but I don't exactly love them either."
"So you can eat them. Perfect. We're basically made for each other. If we got married, we'd make a blissfully happy couple. Please marry me."
Ren never wasted time. He was a brave man willing to skip the process and charge straight into the grave known as marriage.
Fon almost failed to hold her smile in place. One hand tightened quietly behind her back as she told herself to endure it.
"I'm sorry, sir. I have no interest in marriage."
"That's only because you'd never met a catch like me."
Ren refused to quit. "You can tell my outfit doesn't look like yours, right? Do you know what that means?
"It means I'm stylish. And in this world, style means power."
"Heh."
Fon could only offer him a polite smile.
By her standards, Ren's outfit had nothing to do with style. Bizarre would be closer. There was not a trace of kimono design to it, just a strange World of the Living look.
A gold leather jacket with black pants. Black sneakers instead of straw sandals.
The only familiar things about him were the gold-sheathed Zanpakuto at his waist and the silver-white ponytail tied behind his head.
"This is Yasuo's Prestige skin. Not that I have that scruffy middle-aged face. You can tell I'm physically in my twenties.
"I wouldn't say I'm devastatingly handsome, but my features are decent. Good enough to count as a handsome guy."
Ren continued praising himself without shame.
He had transmigrated while queuing for a normal match. His last game had been ruined by his teammates.
So in the next one, he instalocked Yasuo, stole the role, and gave all four of them a heartfelt piece of his mind.
Then he arrived in Soul Society.
He had not come alone, either. He arrived with Yasuo's Prestige skin, Yasuo's skills, his passive, and a Zanpakuto that could remain in Shikai permanently.
The downside was the language barrier.
Three years.
It took him three whole years to learn Japanese. Three years of pretending to be mute, pretending to be cold and mysterious, and swallowing every word he wanted to say.
Once he finally could speak, all of that pent-up chatter poured out.
Over time, an ordinary young man with ordinary social skills transformed into a terminal extrovert. By now, he could talk almost anyone's ear off for half a day.
Especially beautiful women. He greeted them with full enthusiasm every time. It had never worked once, but that did nothing to dampen his spirit.
As Ren liked to put it, being enthusiastic was his choice. Whether anyone accepted it was their problem.
As long as he was happy, there was no problem.
"..."
She had never imagined there could be someone in this world more annoying than that useless lieutenant.
He had opened her eyes to entirely new depths of irritation.
When she could not bear listening anymore, she used the food as an excuse and slipped back inside the teahouse, finally earning herself a moment of peace.
A short while later, she came out carrying a plate of tri-color dango and a steaming cup of tea. She bent down and set them on the bench.
"Please enjoy, sir."
Ren picked up one skewer of dango, looked at it, and did not take a bite. Instead, he let out a long sigh.
"Ah, what a shame. Dango personally prepared by the captain of Squad Two, and I guess I'm not lucky enough to enjoy it."
The moment she heard that, Fon's smile slowly vanished. Her expression turned cold, and her presence shifted from cute kitten to proud wildcat.
"How did you figure out who I am?"
"Simple. You gave yourself away too many times. First, opening a teahouse in a remote place like this is suspicious no matter how you look at it."
"Second, a girl this pretty working in an empty teahouse? Is that even possible?"
"Third..."
"Enough!"
Soi Fon snapped at him. None of those reasons explained how he had identified her so precisely. He had not even wondered if she might be some other member of the Stealth Force.
She had heard enough nonsense.
She tore off the apron and loosened the sash at her waist. Her voice went flat.
"The Stealth Force's creed is secrecy. I intended to poison you quietly and complete this mission without incident. Since you saw through me, rougher methods will have to do."
With that, she stripped off the teahouse attendant's outfit and tossed it onto the table beside her, revealing her true Punishment Force uniform beneath it.
It was a black, backless halter outfit.
Her style points shot through the roof. The only problem was that the Punishment Force uniform was brutal on anyone without the figure for it.
On the former commander-in-chief, it would have been a whole mountain range.
On Soi Fon, the front view offered very little. Only from the side could one barely make out the suggestion of a hill.
Ren covered his eyes with his fingers spread. When he saw that she was not going to take anything else off, disappointment settled in.
'That was it?'
'All that anticipation for nothing.'
"Ren Arashi," Soi Fon said. "You are wanted for murdering Fifth Seat Taizo Hasegawa of the Stealth Force in West District Three. By order of Central 46, I have come to eliminate you."
Since the quiet assassination had failed, she chose to state his crimes to his face and let him die knowing exactly why.
"I'm not a criminal. Call me the Stormbound Swordsman."
Ren emphasized the correction before defending himself. "And that wasn't my fault. Your Fifth Seat harassed a respectable woman right in front of me, then tried to force himself on her.
"As a man with a conscience, how could I just sit there and watch something that vile happen? I had to draw my blade and help."
"If you had a grievance, you could have reported it. Assaulting him, then killing him on your own authority, is still a crime."
She had no intention of listening to his defense.
"The Stealth Force does not spare criminals."
"You obey corrupt laws and call that something to be proud of? Is that really what you believe in?"
Her expression did not change.
"Enough talk."
"Steel Tempest!"
Since talking had gotten him nowhere, Ren went straight to his sword.
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