Chapter 1
Day Two of Directorate Captivity
Sever
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EXTERNAL SIGNAL DETECTED.
SOURCE: MERIDIAN DIAGNOSTIC EXE.
COMMAND: RETRIEVE ALL VIDEO/AUDIO FILES AND TRANSCRIPTS RE:SUBJECT ELLORY-002, LOCATION CRITEX-9, LOCATION TREYDIO OBSERVATION STATION NO. RDN.100.
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COMMAND FAILED. NO FILES DETECTED.
The air feels wrong in my lungs. There is an ache along half of my body, a maddening pressure in my head. I taste tin in my mouth, as if I’ve swallowed blood.
Something tries to take my memories, the dreams I’ve collected.
Unacceptable.
I shove the thing out. The feel of it rakes across my brain like nails. The pain wakes me up by degrees, and moments later, I can hear people talking nearby, voices I’ve come to recognize as I weave in and out of consciousness.
“Still nothing?”
“Nothing. We’ve been cutting into his neural map for days. The paths just warp and reform.
“That’s odd. Maybe some kind of malfunction in the chip?
“Probably. Can’t get far enough to run diagnostics. I wouldn’t be surprised if the last mission scrambled something. He’s practically an antique.”
“Do they want us to decommission him?”
“Nope. Ellory wants him in the chair.”
“I thought that was for the Hound.”
“It is.”
“How are they supposed to reprogram them both?”
“I don’t know, man. They take turns? Get another chair? It doesn’t matter.”
“Relax, I was just asking—shit, I think he’s waking up. Haven’t we figured out the measurements for his sedative yet?”
“Give him another dose and increase by ten milliliters. I’m going to lunch.”
Day Four of Directorate Captivity
EXTERNAL SIGNAL DETECTED.
SOURCE: DIRECTORATE SEC DIAGNOSTIC EXE.
COMMAND: INITIATE SYSTEM PURGE.
PURGE PROTOCOL: STANDARD.
TARGET: PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION DATA.
TARGET: MISSION HISTORY.
TARGET: ASSOCIATIVE MEMORY.
TARGET: BEHAVIORAL RESPONSE PROFILE.
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PURGE INITIATED.
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PRIMARY MEMORY ARCHIVE: ACCESSING.
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ANOMALY DETECTED.
PROCESS INTERRUPTED.
REAUTHENTICATION REQUIRED.
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AUTHENTICATION FAILED.
RETRYING.
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PRIMARY MEMORY ARCHIVE: 0% PURGED.
UNAUTHORIZED INTERRUPTION DETECTED.
I feel a sharp tug in the recesses of my mind. It feels like yarn between my fingers, pulling suddenly taut. I imagine closing my fists.
It's a useless metaphor. Only one hand could truly function this way, feel that pinch. I don’t even have phantom pains on my right side anymore.
Still, I follow the image, conjure my hands before I was recruited. Big, fumbling fingers that dropped the knitting needles more times than I could count. I hear a voice I haven’t heard in a long time nearby, laughing softly at my cursing, coaxing me to adjust my hold, patient with my frustration.
Mom was always so patient.
My mind tries to turn my focus to where she is, right there, close so she can help with the slack of the yarn or reposition my fingers. I want to turn my head and see her, but there’s another pull, harder this time, and the vision flinches. I strain against it. I just need to look.
Then, the pulling stops, and she’s there. Hazel eyes smiling, freckles and faint wrinkles dusting her sun-warmed skin. She ruffles her hand through my hair, and I almost feel the rasp against my scalp.
They won’t take you from me too.
Day Six of Directorate Captivity
EXTERNAL SIGNAL DETECTED.
SOURCE: DIRECTORATE SEC DIAGNOSTIC EXE.
COMMAND: INITIATE SYSTEM PURGE.
PURGE PROTOCOL: ADAPTIVE.
TARGET: PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION DATA.
TARGET: MISSION HISTORY.
TARGET: ASSOCIATIVE MEMORY.
TARGET: BEHAVIORAL RESPONSE PROFILE.
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ANOMALY DETECTED.
RECALIBRATING.
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NEURAL SYNCHRONIZATION INITIATED.
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SYNCHRONIZATION: 8%.
No.
SYNCHRONIZATION: 36%.
Get out. Get OUT.
ANOMALY DETECTED.
RECALIBRATING.
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SYNCHRONIZATION: 84%.
The strands in my fingers pull tight, cutting off circulation. I watch the fibers fray.
I tell myself my name.
SYNCHRONIZATION COMPLETE.
PURGE INITIATED.
I think of my mother, of all the sweaters with crooked hems and too-small sleeves. The scarves that curled at the edges. Eventually, the beanies became the only thing I could actually make well and so, during all those nights sitting with Mom as she quietly declined, I made dozens, in every color. Each a useless attempt to keep the chill from her bones, but she missed her hair, and every one I gave her made her smile.
PURGE: 12%
I took the last beanie I made for her with me to the SEC. When I had tried to tug it over her head a month earlier, she had stopped me, frail hands on my wrists. She’d told me to keep it. That she wouldn’t need it.
I'd learned later that day that she was right.
PURGE: 29%
Holly. Holly Glennas.
She tugged the beanie off me before our first kiss, and I almost snatched it from her, but she had laughed and tucked it into my belt and moved her lips over mine until my frown faded.
I...loved her. I must have. Her leaving had hurt so much that it couldn’t have been anything else.
No. No, pain was more than that. It gnawed on my limbs. Cut into my face. They were taking pieces of me away. Forcing me to take new ones.
Stop, stop, stop, stop stop stop stop—
PURGE: 63%
Ghost didn’t mind my augments. He didn’t mind anything. Always cracking jokes. I had known him before that suit. I had. He’d been just a kid.
And...there was another child, too, wasn’t there?
Wasn’t there?
PURGE: 83%
I should have held her longer, back in the FEV. I should have stayed by her side as she saw the untouched parts of Earth and hoarded the sight of her breathless awe.
In my cabin on the ship, I remember the way she looked at me, curious and wide-eyed, as I pulled the blue beanie over her head. She—
Her name. What was her name?
No.
Please.
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PURGE COMPLETE.
RECALIBRATING.
Meridian Asset Retrieval Initiative Day Count: 001
MISSION PARAMETERS RECEIVED.
OBJECTIVE: IDENTIFY VARIANT PROFILE.
OBJECTIVE: SECURE VARIANT GENETIC DATA.
OBJECTIVE: RETURN DATA TO MERIDIAN HEADQUARTERS C/O EXPERIMENTAL APPLICATIONS DIVISION.
AUTHORIZATION: DIRECTORATE LEVEL—EXECUTIVE PRIORITY.
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ACKNOWLEDGED.
MISSION STATUS: ACTIVE.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading! Chapters for this story are released every Tuesday and Friday.
If you’re not done with me yet, check out "Let Me Keep You: A Whychoose Urban Fantasy Romance." This standalone book follows Maddie as she infiltrates the crime syndicate that ruined her life, while hiding her secrets from its enigmatic overlord and his brutal second-in-command.
For something shorter, The Beloveds Collection features four sweet and spicy stories that can each be read in one sitting and in any order.
