A Road map of the mind

I am no psychologist or doctor, nothing that is said on this page has been proven right. What i want this to do is take you on a daily path of my thoughts and a path that has lead me up to writing all these words. These are memoires I hold near to my heart flashbacks to days gone by, and even sadness from the loss of loved ones. I have no college degree in writing or mental health, but they are something I want to get a better understanding of and this is my way of doing that. Everyday I wake up it feels like a broken record and I need to have a sense of purpose this is my outlet. My thoughts can range from this really sucks, why me how can i make something out of today, and what can i do different. There are many more things that swirl through my head but I dont to discouarge myself any worse than usual. I have to be my own positive force a voice that drives me forward and not to drag myself down. That has go me no where it has nothing but anger and pain filled in those words they are only meant to hurt. When I wake up in a bad mood or have had a string of bad days its hard for me to get out of that funk. All I can do is try to write about the ideas in my head or of the past. Maybe its things like camping, fishing, hiking up a mountain, or even gardening I try to work these into inspiration. Sometimes I feel as if I am only doing all of this writing just for myself to look back on and say hey remember when I was in that head space. That is an interesting expression in its self, head space it leads into a line of questions that make you ponder for a while or ask google. For the last five years I would say I try to fill my head with the word of god but it wasnt always that way. I looked at ways of easing the mind of thoughts of anger, sadness, stress, and so forth. So I took to google and tried to find anything to help collect my thoughts. Gurus, mind claming music, inspirational speakers, and of course nature sounds that is always tranquil. These all help stopped the spinning thoughts maybe for a minute or two sometimes it made it worse thinking of the past or the flashbacks to times since long gone. Then comes sitting and pondering just the thoughts of what is this life meant for, what are all these memories good for if no one else is there to share them with, or who will know about the things you have done, will anyone care once your gone, and so much more. That is why I have started to write and put my words and the things of this world that have amazed me on some sort of platform. No longer do I want these memories that have defined my childhood, or shaped me into the person I have become to be locked away in my mind. Just maybe there is some ideas or a piece of information that can help other people. Maybe it will take them on a journey when there isnt one to be had. So many of us get caught up in the madness of life and the never ending circle of things to do we can get out of it . That is my goal in alot of the short essays I write and even doing open bible study it is the hope, and faith of god that drives me on. Anyone who reads my work and leaves a comment it is the greatest shot in the arm so to speak. It is the sense of have a purpose that drives me now and days, of course havinga kids and a family is number one. Who doesnt think to themselves there has to be more than this, of course i do and thats what i set out to do. Make a purpose give a helping hand where i can, talk about things maybe others wouldnt or even if they have maybe just in a different way. Some may not connect with the way others have written, maybe they use to big of words, or say to them selfs that dont connect with me. So everytime I take to social media or a writing platform i to look back on something or someone who has left and impact. It could be that it is a fallen soldier that other wise would not be remembered. We should do this with all people that have gone before us because each one of us is special in their own way. They had memories, they had families, and they had dreams which may not have been fillied so talk about them post theor pictures. I dont want my life to be for nothing just to slip away with out having my voice heard, or what words I have to say just sink into darkness. This is where my mind has taken me and I am happy I get to share my story, my memories with anyone who will read them. Dont be afaird to say the wrong thing or if you cant get the words right. We are all in this life together its a matter of trail and error I know for sure I am still messing up daily. Whether it be something small or big I might even use it as a piece to write about. It could be that you looked a the beauty of the flowers a different way, the way you look at your significant other,volunteering and anything inbetween. I have grown along the way, the same I feel so has my writing. I get more excited the more i type out my words and feelings just maybe today I can help someone out. I want to connect with as many people as possible just to spread love, happiness, and of course gods word. That is what this has all lead me to find out it doesnt have to be through just acts of charity, volunteering, or just some random actnof kindnes. These things all are great but the words we have to say the thoughts that we have, there are other people that think or see the world in that way. So dont just let your mind run wild take the time to figure out how to put your thoughts out there. Whether it be a podcast, youtube, or tik toc take a leap of faith it just might help you as well.