What is your opinion?
More please!
"This is a very lovely short story with an unexpected ending. Or is it? To me, it would be very interesting to see what happens next, how Vera deals with her visions, does she get a mentor who helps her handle this gift? I'm curious to know, so keep it up, Tasha. :-)"
A beautifully evocative 'trailer'
"This is a beautifully written story, with a strong voice that never puts a wrong foot forward. The narration is skillful and evocative, creating a sense of place and urgency. I also appreciate how sparely the author uses dialogue; the laconic speech of the characters is just enough to suggest who they are and what they often aren't saying to one another, particularly in terms of the protagonist. Her fear of showing too much is rendered beautifully here, and it makes the story more tense and mysterious. Though we're only getting a sliver of what must be a larger story/narrative, I love what we have. On the same token, I also want to hear and read more! This seems more like a teaser--or perhaps a trailer--for the movie to come. As another review suggested, I would strongly suggest that you change the name "Jedi." Even though you might have good reasons for adopting such a name, it is part and parcel of the Star Wars franchise, and it's pretty much off-limits (outside of fan fiction) in the same way that names like Gandalf, Sauron, Bilbo, and Voldemort are now. Surely you can find a more suitable name without damaging your story. Great work so far though. Keep writing!"
Want more
"This is a good start, and it certainly left me wanting to know more about the characters and the world. I only have 2 comments really. 1 - You might want to consider renaming the character "Jedi" - that word is fairly loaded, given that its such a huge part of Star Wars. Seeing that word immediately pulled me out of the story, and I had to block it out. 2 - It would be really interesting if there was more of a cost to using the Sight. Obviously she gets weakened and exhausted, but a different angle might include something more real, like Marked people's lives being shortened by every minute their illusions remain visible, or their actual vision regards as they corrupt the vision of others. Just some ideas. Other than that, great work!"
