What is your opinion?
Lovely
"It was captivating and from the start, it kept me at the edge of my seat. I say you go, girl!"
This is really good
"I feel so sorry for Clover...I really do. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be sold to perverted pigs like these men. She was so lucky to escape. This is a great story and I encourage you to keep working on it. You'll have a best seller with this one day. Grammar such as verb tenses needs a little work and some words were swapped around. For example "I don't know why am I instead of why I am" other than that it's a great story!"
Whisper of the Silence
"Wow that was a great start. I loved the way the story picked up speed to take me flying with Clover all along. The story plot intrigued me from the beginning. I must say your writing style is commendable and smooth. I read it with almost no effort enjoying each word. It was good to see Clover escape those goons. There is a great deal of excitement. You've staged the scene perfectly. I wait to read more. Excellent piece of work. Keep up the good work."
Great work!
"I like the name Clover. Easy flowing writing. Great story. Well done. Watch the CAPS, you can overuse that. Does it have a sequel? Overall, be proud of your work and keep writing."
Great Start, Promising!
"Despite several tense errors, this story began immediately with a good amount of suspense. I also loved the main character and Kyle, as well as think they both have mysterious, interesting background stories. Very nicely done!"
Whisper of the Silence
"The premise is interesting so far and I'm curious to know how Clover got herself in that situation. The opening started off pretty well, though I do wonder if security guards would be at least suspicious with a group of men surrounding a girl like that, considering how strict airports are (especially in America, I assume this is set in the US but forgive me if I'm wrong) something like this would at least raise some eyebrows (also same with the crowd of fangirls charging in, there would also be security preventing them from causing mayhem) . This is also a bit of a nitpick but be sure to minimize your use of sentences that are in all caps since it should really only be used if someone's screaming at the top of their lungs and so it can be kind of overwhelming if there's a lot of that. Overall the premise is good and does make me wonder what's going to happen next."
Whisper of Silence--Good Start!
"Though it’s only three chapters, I think your book has a lot of promise when it comes to the plot. You have a very unique situation/set-up and later turn of events that really catches our interest right off the bat, so kudos to you on that! In the Group discussion section, you asked to know where you could improve. Here are a few things I found that are easy fixes to help get your writing (and your book) to the next level: TENSE CHANGES: There were quite a few instances where I noticed the narrative bouncing back and forth between present and past tense. Largely, it seemed to be written past tense, so make sure you stick with it throughout. DIALOGUE: It was a little hard to follow the bodyguards searching for her with their dialogue, simply because it was written in narrative format. Make sure any time someone’s saying something aloud, it’s in the right format. This will give your readers the chance to potentially see who’s talking, as well as how they’re delivering the line. DESCRIPTION: I think this one is probably the most important moving forward. We don’t get a lot of situational description, so picturing where people are in relation to what’s going on can be a little tough. Take a breath and slow down a bit! You have an excellent opening scene in terms of action, but readers lose a lot of important information from not knowing what’s near by, what people look like, your main character’s emotional reactions, etc. For example, when you had her duck into the car, I still thought they were in the terminal right off the plane! Same goes for the truck part; what kind of vehicle is it that he can reach into it without opening it and seeing her right away? Simple stuff like that. OVERALL: I think you have a really good idea. Editing will help polish it up to the bright emerald it can be!"
