What is your opinion?
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"you are amazing I want more of this. Very drawn in, and your writing, as you know, is impeccable. I would vote for this a hundred times.if I could and I hope it receives a well-deserved win. I want to know what's in the egg, I want to know more about this world (I adore the hint of Lovecratian horror to it).. Brava,"
<3
"Your writing is beautiful--sharp, and it's almost too tempting to read ahead because I see all those one-liner paragraphs, haha. Mature/strong sentences, really lovely setup, and crazy interesting subject. The Way seemed like a good healthy tradition, and then it seemed like an Orwellian commentary on following the beaten path, and then it seemed like maybe a metaphor for life. Haha I absolutely loved it. I want to know what's in the egg!! If anything, that was the only reason I was discontent at the end. You're gonna make me go write my own continuation of it, just to figure it out (; Good luck on the contests! I'm voting for this one!"
A hollow beauty
"The writing style of the author has a flair that is captivating. The structure of the sentences and the use of words make for a very pleasant and swift read; it all appears very deliberate and well-though-out. The short, one-sentence paragraphs create a nice rhythm to the reading experience. As is to be expected with such careful writing: it is grammatically impeccable. However, in my opinion, a talented way with words is wasted on an empty story. In such a way that I, as a reader, feel cheated. The symbolism of the story packs no punch and 'the plot' has nothing to offer to compensate for this. Nothing of significance happens, because the author coyly refuses to give any significance to any moment or concept in favor of the mystery. Unfortunately, the mystery is a suffocating cloak under which nothing can thrive. This is either a purposeful stylistic choice that has failed to deliver, or it is a cheat: the author sells us mystery because she has nothing else to offer. Why do (only) girls walk The Way? Who made The Way? What kind of world is this? What are dark-wights? What is this society of humans (?) like? What is in the egg? Having none of these questions answered feels like lazy storytelling as opposed to thought-provoking mysteries. It feels like the author doesn't even know the answers and hopes the readers will fill in the blanks for her, relying on the reader to project meaning and gravity into an ampty shell. I realize that this story is a 'Work In Progress', but since the prologue is submitted to a writing contest and the closing date of the contest is near, it is reasonably safe to assume the prologue will have to stand on it's own as a contest entry and I have to judge the available material. To compensate for the fact that the story is incomplete and might still be expanded on in time, I gave two stars for the plot, where I would have given one, based on the (as of yet unfulfilled) promise and I gave three stars for the overall rating where I would have done only two: one for style, one for grammar, one for promise. I hope to be proven wrong and that the story will be completed before October 7th, because on it's own the prologue is a weak entry. One thing I noticed in the story, which might be an error (it feels like an error): The way the suit works is explained as: "The farther she went from [the markers], however, the harder the [push and pull] would become to resist". Yet, near the end, where a large part of The Way is destroyed, it is said that she is far away from the nearest marker and the pull is implied to be weak, while it should be exceptionally strong if she is "too far" away from the nearest marker."
