What is your opinion?
Burning Broken Chains: Rising Ashes
"First I'd like to say that I really like your title, it's very catchy and makes you want to know what's the story about. The premise is interesting and so are the characters, however, I get a bit distracted by the grammatical mistakes strewn through out. I also feel like there's too much exposition going on, which makes the world building feel overwhelming. Creating your own world is tough and I applaud you for that, but you should take things slow since readers are not going to fully understand everything at once. Overall it's interesting so far and it makes me wonder what's going to happen next."
First Chapter only
"A little grammatical errors, and the characters need a little more work, but otherwise, the story us off to a great start."
Burning Broken Chains: Rising Ashes
"The narration of the story is good. I suppose it's too early to be talking about the plot, so I won't delve into it now. There are slight grammar errors - such as using a comma instead of a semi-colon or a dash (long hyphen) or the absence of a comma itself, the incorrect useage of words here and there. Otherwise, the story is going good so far. I like the names you've chosen (made-up, I believe?). But, I do feel that the language used is slighted advanced for the setting. Then again, it's just me! I do love the cover, though! And I liked the way you ended your chapters - makes the reader want to see what happens next! Overall, there's a lot of potential for your story. Keep it up!"
Needs work
"Hello! I read the first four chapters of your story, and I'm sorry to say I couldn't really get through it. There are a lot of grammar errors, and your characters are pretty flat. They don't really have distinct personalities, and you spend way too much time with descriptions of what they're wearing, which can be exhausting to read. When describing a character's appearance, try opting for one or two sentences instead, and don't describe appearances unless the character is particularly important to the story. Your fight scenes are play-by-play, and to keep them engaging, you shouldn't describe every single move that's made- keep it concise. As for your world-building, you have a lot of good ideas! The caste system is interesting, and I like how much you have planned out. However, you throw a lot of terminology and explanation at us in the very beginning, which can be really overwhelming. And please, don't steal songs from Les Miserables. I know this is only a first draft, but there's a lot you can improve. Keep writing!"
