Maymester

3:37 PM

The deafening sound of the bat hitting the ball in such perfect synchronicity stunned the Dowden Terrace softball team as they watched the away team hit their third home run. Tracy’s mouth dropped as she watched the softball soar, eclipsing the part of the sun peeking out of the clouds for a brief instant. She shook her head placing her hands on her face to cover her tears. There was no need to look at the scoreboard. It was too humiliating to even glance at how badly they were being trampled.

A sole hand clasped her shoulder, gently shaking it, reassuring her that everything was all right, but she knew it wasn’t. As much as she loved the game, she’d give anything to be anywhere else than in this debilitating defeat that wasn’t even close to being over. If only softball had some sort of time limit then and only then would she be taken out of her misery…

4:35 PM

“We suck,” Tracy said under her breath slamming her locker shut. It was bad enough that she had an awful game, but to lose so poorly when they hadn’t even scored was too much to handle. The coach remained silent, as usual, doing that whole passive-aggressive shtick in an effort to make the team care more. But caring wasn’t the problem, a lack of talent, that was. There was no proper way of building up a team when all they had done was drop the ball…literally.

Thinking back on it she knew she should’ve stayed at Evergreen Forest, but Dowden Terrace had the free pass. Her scholarship covered all her expenses, something she needed desperately to even attend college. The weight she felt, the immense pressure on her shoulders to turn this team around was just too much.

“I wanted to win…” she let out.

“I know, sweetie,” Raquel said rubbing her back. Raquel was the only member of the team she truly felt comfortable with outside of practice. She couldn’t explain why, other than she had met Raquel in PSYC 101 before practices began. The rest of her teammates resented her at first, but not because she was better than them. No one had argued or competed over that. They had resented the fact that she got a free ride. Over time they let it go, but her initial pain from their rejection still lingered. Sometimes even looking at them brought back instant flashbacks salting the wound even further. The scars were so deep she was unsure whether she could ever let it go, or even if she should.

Her only solace was that her grades improved along with the switch. Having switched majors to business certainly helped. It seemed to be one of the only truly applicable majors. Raquel was a creative writing major and Tracy felt that she could use her diploma as toilet paper when all her funds ran out.

“But at least we had fun, didn’t we?” Raquel added, disturbing her thoughts. She hated admitting to herself that she completely tuned out Raquel’s attempt at making her feel better but Raquel should know better by now that her verbose speeches never worked on her.

“No,” Tracy shook her head, “I certainly didn’t.”

“Neither did I,” Iris interjected. “I really let the team down because the ball kept slipping away from me.”

“Oh shut up, Iris! You’d drop the ball even if someone placed it in your hand,” Raquel snapped back.

“STOP!” Tracy screeched silencing the two of them. “What’s the point in arguing over who was worse when we’re all to blame for the turnout? None of you did worse than me today anyways, so can we just drop it?”

“No, not until you feel better,” Raquel gently replied. “Why can’t you see that the only reason we play is for fun, not to win?”

“You know the reason why.”

“Not that again! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Why don’t we go grab a meal in the student center together?”

“I’d really rather not,” Tracy uttered with finality.

“It’s just a game,” Raquel answered with one last try.

“If you believe that’s true then I can’t explain it to you,” Tracy replied slinging her duffel bag over her shoulder. Tears started brimming around her eyes as she thought about what would happen to her life if they lost another game.

8:23 PM

The phone rang as Tracy strummed her fingers against the downstairs help desk. There was a brief window of time when the RA was doing her rounds that she could sneak in a phone call. The downstairs help was usually gone for a 30-minute period. Trea was very personable and took her time visiting with the residents, an unexpected blessing indeed.

“Hello,” the familiar voice answered.

“Hi, Mom,” Tracy said, her face spreading into a smile.

“Oh hi, darling!” her ecstatic reply caused tears of happiness to fall down Tracy’s face. “I haven’t heard from you in a while. How are you doing? How’d today’s game go?”

“We lost.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you ok?”

“No,” Tracy choked out.

“If you lose the next game, that’s ok. We’ll just go from there.”

“No, it’s not ok! You and I both know what’ll happen if we lose the rivalry game.”

“Well you could always come home to the city after the game, right?”

“First I need to find a place to live.”

“None of your teammates panned out?”

“No. Nobody has room and seeing as there’s only one game left on the 27ththe school doesn’t find that enough of a reason to board me, but seeing as they didn’t tell me until last Friday they’ve given me a loophole. If I can find another activity in the intervening time they’ll allow me to stay.”

“I’m sure something will turn up…” her mother offered false hope causing Tracy to roll her eyes.

Tracy bit her lip to prevent herself from dispelling even more self-doubt in front of her mother. There was no need to worry her further.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mom. I know, I know. I’ll start looking tomorrow.”