What is your opinion?
Interesting Work of Mind
"Your story is very interesting. I think you should never stop writing. I have no problem with characters and the plot. I just have a little problem with how you organize the story. I am taking a class in a writing degree and the professor told me "always do chunking, so your readers will be comfortable and stay with your stories". I'm sure Inkitt or any online publishing site has the same advice. We always need to think about readers who read our story in a phone and so you don't want to scare them away with big paragraphs. You can test to read your story on your mobile phone screen and edit it later if you think it's too big for readers."
interesting
"Hey, firstly I'd like to applaud you for this plot. It is definitely different and really good. Although it is not something I usually read, but it was good enough to capture my interest for almost the whole of it and left me wanting for more. I can't stress enough the fact that this plot has loads of potential and I would love to see where you take it. Also, I believe your writing style is good and you'd be able to do it justice. I also realize that this must be the first draft ( forgive me if not... I am just assuming since it is only 2 chapters in yet) for you'll have enough to focus on the writing skills and grammatical misplacements, I wouldn't call them mistakes for they were not, but even they were not enough to divulge the interest. The only thing I found for you to take a second look on was the use of italics they got confusing sometimes and the dream/nightmare scene of Akash, but it is really good right now. Waiting for more."
Interesting, yet... Lacking
"Looking through what you have written so far, it surely is a unique concept for a story. A paranormal experience where two doppelganger children find themselves interlocked in the same dream, then in the same reality, and find others around them even exclaiming they act in a shockingly similar in their own right. It is definitely not a story that you would commonly find on library shelves, and I applaud that. Going into the plot itself, however, it seems a little too much is happening all at once, and I will get into that in just a moment. Both chapters are almost mirroring each other, except they're both told from a different point of view. Having the characters experience almost the same events prior to meeting each other also adds the emphasized aspect of being virtually the same person, and is enough to captivate readers by itself. Your writing style is... interesting, to say the least, and I don't mean that in a bad way. Speaking in a manner that is much more casual and depicts a pretty general bias over teenagers is a powerful tool that can be used in your novel. It's clear that you want to portray your characters as somewhat moody, and possibly as people who do not get along with others very well aside from a select few. Whether you're using that as an element to convey a moody and naive character that develops to become a more mature person as the story progress, I'm sure you have your own plans. However, there is one critical and primary issue that is presented in what you have so far, and that is grammar. I will not go as far as to say it is awful, as everyone has to start somewhere and being rude is not helpful. However, it is blatantly clear that your use of italics and punctuation need some work. Having so many parts where thoughts are being conveyed is making me lose focus, and the poor, or lacking, use of commas and other types of punctuation is detrimental to the flow of the story, which is damaging your piece as a whole. I would personally suggest getting the free version of grammar.ly or some other grammar structure software to assist you with this issue. Aside from that, it's a brilliant and unique concept. Paranormal phenomenons merging with reality is something that is really interesting to read, If you're looking to improve what you already have, I would start by looking over previously stated grammar and sentence structure, then work your way into keeping your reader interested. Add a few twists, or create some sort of in-depth dialogue. Whatever you do, I'm sure you'll do just fine as long as you tweak a few basics. I am curious to see where this goes though. Keep up the good work!"
