Chapter 1
it's the firs time i write a story i hope you guys will love the firs chapter and help me to guet a good style by providing me with your comments ,this is the story of a young girl who know nothing about her past , but only when she turns 16 years old that real problems start, she will discover the secret of her family, and will also find her true love.
being happy and living in peace was here dream, Lisa HALL a very smart highschool girl, very kind and lovely,living with her grandfather Mr Jack MASON,she was sometimes a troblemaker but he loves her anyway and so does she.Lisa lost her parents when she was young but till now she still ignore the way they died and she had never asked about that, she never felt they are absent actually, her grand-pa was always there whenever she needs him, it is true that he's an old man now, but he was very goodlooking and handsome, he was tall and strong , people at that town love him and they all respect him so much like if he was a kind of leader or something,Lisa does never pay attation to these details,for her it is obvious that they all love him , he diserve that.
Mr MASON was almost 90 years old, he is linving now with a generation which is very far away from his generation, he hated technology and those stuff, he was maybe the only man who has never watch tv, he only read books.
That morning Lisa opended her eyes,cheked her phone and her social media as she does every morning and went directly to the bathroom to start preparing herself to a new school day, took her breakfast, kissed her grand-pa and went to school.
During her second classe, Lisa was writing some notes when suddenly a boy that gets in the classroom, and presents himself, " my name is Samon Blaid, i'm the new student", the teacher asked him to take a site in the back of the classroom since the frontal sites were already taken, Lisa too was setting in the back,she immediatly have got a crush on him, he has the appearance of a bad boy, and that's what intrigues her.
during the breakfast Simon took his lunch alone since he has no friends, many girls try to flirt with him but he kept on rejecting them. Lisa was secretly observing him, she enjoyed looking at him.
16 years old(,) (the) real problem start(s)(.) she discover(s) the secret(no will) of her family (no comma) and find(s) her true love.
(b)eing happy and living in peace was (her) dream(.) Lisa HALL(,) (why capital in hall?) very kind and lovely (was) living with ehr grandfather MR Jack Mason(.) (again y capitals?) (S)he was sometimes....
till now she ignore(no still) never asked about that(.)
Okay... i will make it simple. Dont use commas more. Make the sentence crisp. put dot at the end of each sentence. Dont use too many capitals unneccessarily. use capital letter for the starting letter in a sentence, for writing names(only the first letter of the name should be in capitals). you need to improve with punctuations a lot.
deserve spelling error. There are lot more to be changed. Check with grammarly website once before posting it. it will useful.
use any one tense. either past or present. don't confuse with the both.
checked her phone spelling mistake.
sitting in the back (not setting). I am just helping you with the mistakes. So dont get me wrong.