What is your opinion?
Embedded
"Hi Steve It was a great start, good build-up of character and word choice, and plenty of intrique. Excellent writing! The sex scene didn't do anything for the story and would have been better left out. It was a strong, well written scene that could go into another book. Your ending was clever, but it is more likely someone would find Lisa, preferably alive, and the crime would be uncovered. Perhaps she could mention the baby sitting job to a friend, who became suspicious when Lisa didn't arrive home at the expected time, or within a few days of that time. Lisa was on job seekers allowance, so she most likely rents her unit. When her rent isn't paid, the landlord would want answers. Perhaps the police would have to break in and then they would discover her. Even the tenants in the other units would have heard something and maybe one of them notified the police. I hope my suggestions help. If you would like to review my book, ‘Who’s There?’, here is the link. Who’s There? https://www.inkitt.com/stories/horror/893926?ink_source=users.profile&ink_block=stories&ink_page_number=&ink_metric= Thank you LittleScribbler"
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"Best book I've ever read. If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on NovelStar."
Embedded
"You could have left it where someone found her she got out they had to pay her out the ass, but it wasn't bad."
Very interesting!
"Well written and very interesting. I will definitely read more."
Embedded
"The story was very good and very disturbing. One can only assume she will die there"
Fun and disturbing read!
"I've gotta say, I was not expecting the ending that the author wrote. I fully expected to be angry about it. It's hard to review this without also giving away any of the story! I was pleasantly surprised by this story. I feel like the cover needs to be redone, mostly because right now it looks like an advertisement for a bed frame. It should be darker and granulated. Not that I'm a great cover designer or anything, but I feel like that would've given a better feel for the story's content. I enjoyed this because I could feel what Lisa, the main character, was feeling. Hopelessness, fear, confinement. It was also quite frustrating, in all honesty. I kept wanting to smack so many passersby up the side of the head for not catching on. I don't think I'll ever take a babysitting job ever again!"
Ending is abrupt and doesnt matches up with the suspense arouse around the part when tom's parents were discussing how to get rid off the case their son has committed. I expected a bstyer and more suitable ending. Its rather disapponting.
"The ending is not good"
Embedded
"Not really an accurate story and not just because it's left on a cliffhanger. No one who hosts parties or are in high school or older needs a babysitter. It's also a basic rule that if there's a party going on that is disturbing the peace, the police are required to show up. The story really needs to be tweaked and ended properly."
Wrong behavior encouraged..
"The plot reflects lousy human behavior, promoting the worst in people's actions, without respect and consideration for individuals. That's the author's option - not criticizing that. I preferred plots where the good part of humanity is praised, people are happy and kind to others. We should teach children and teenagers to live free, honestly, and respectfully, making the world better. There are no good intentions, good deeds, or good behaviors in the characters of this story. Only the worst in human kind. We need to change minds. For better, not worse."
Don't waste your time!
"Story is unfinished and you will be left hanging. No reason why he did it other than the fact that his parents are just as psychotic as he is. Not an author I will follow."
Not the best
"Sorry, Like the writing, not the plot. I thought they were going to kill her or somthing TBH"
Story
"Not my type of story. I thought something dramatic was going to happen. Like Lisa was going to fall in love with Tom or something. "
Embedded
"Hated it. The whole story was so absurd and the ending was disappointing. And what is the point with the "pillow sex" in the first chapter? Just to fill up some lines? I wouldn't recommend it even to people i haye. "
