Clarity

Chapter One:

Hartley are you awake? I’m coming over.

I re-read the message as I slammed the bedroom door in hopes my awful parents would hear it. The spring rain and thunder were noisy and heavy in the background, but nowhere near as unnerving as the hatred that ran through my veins.

Crashing behind the white door, I took a deep breath as I fought the agonizing urge to cry; I’d done that a lot lately and couldn’t bare to spend another night with red painful eyes. Pushing myself off the door with shaky hands, I strolled towards the brown cherry wood desk and reached for the single light-cream colored envelope that was neatly placed in the middle of the desk. The crimson Harvard University color letters were boldly placed at the right-side corner of the top of the envelope. My heart sank as I re-read the name of the school. My dream school.

I clenched my teeth as I checked my phone for the time. It had been fifteen minutes since Paisley had massaged me. I sighted irritated as I gazed out the window and saw no sign of my closest friend. The mailman had delivered my acceptance letter to Harvard University the previous morning and I needed to vent. My mother had made my favorite food, sat me down at the dinner table and broken the news to me; the news that left me missing on the opportunity of a lifetime. The money was gone and with it the hopes of a bright future for me.

I attempted to calm down, but it was easier said than done. My visions of the future were disappearing by the minute, and all I could see was the red color letters that she once dreamed of wearing on a sweater, and anger overwhelmed me. I was thankful when I heard noises coming from outside. I immediately dropped the envelope down on the desk when I saw Paisley’s Volkswagen Jetta pulling into the driveway. I rushed to open the door before Paisley even had the chance to knock on it.

She jumped a little when she saw me, “Hartley, you almost gave me a heart attack. Are you alright?” She looked at me strangely.

I nodded my head as I led the way to my room. “Paisley, do you remember the night we went to your friend Veronica’s house party?”

Paisley’s light purple color hair was drawn back into a messy bun, and her eyes were a glimmering color of emerald, which were sparkling with judgment now.“Yes, do you want to get that drunk again?”

I rolled my eyes with exasperation, “No... remember how she was telling us about a secret website where she found her sugar daddy?” I said hoping she would remember.

Paisley’s nose wrinkled with displeasement, “Wait... you’re not doing that.”

“I have already decided,” I muttered feeling like a devilish woman and knowing very well I might just go to hell for what I was about to do. “I’m going to do the website.” I clarified.

“Hartley are you sure about this?” Paisley summoned the question as her brows draw together. “Can you really play someone like that?”

I grimaced. When Paisley put it like that, it did sound bad. “Stop trying to make me feel bad and just tell me more about it please?” I asked needing this to be easier than it sounded.

“I already told you,” Paisley answered. “It’s a website where people can stay anonymous and meet people with money. Veronica has been doing it for a while.” She added as she sat down along the pink carpet in the room.

I walked back and forth contemplating if she did, in fact, know what she was about to do. Yet, I didn’t have a choice, thanks to my parents. They had taken my long-time dreams and smashed them into a million pieces.

“I really hope I have the same luck,” I admitted needing this more than ever. I felt crazy for saying it out loud, and for hoping a man would be interested in me enough to pay for school.

“Hartley are you really sure about this?” Paisley asked again.

“There is no other way.” I blurted, although I was not sure if that was completely true. Perhaps I could get a proper job and reapply the following year? Still, that would put me back a year in my studies. I couldn’t have that happen.

Overwhelmed I remained quiet gazing around the very lavender color walls of my room. The lavender pain I once loved is now an indication of my rebellious years, and the Harvard University posters are a reminder of what it might never happen now. Fuming I attempted to work through the pros and cons of the decision I was about to make.

“I still can’t believe they spend my money.” I shoved my books down on the floor and angrily sat back down on my bed. I scooped her laptop and turned it on.

“I can’t either. That was a crappy thing of them to do. Do you know what they even spend it on?” Paisley inquired.

“At this point, it doesn’t even matter, I will forever be resentful.” I truthfully ranted and turned back to the laptop. “What did you say the website is called?”

“Cryptic messages,” Paisley told me, and I quickly typed it on the web search. It soon brought me to the sign-up form. “Wait...You should use a fake name.” Paisley added.

“That’s a great idea, Paisley. I never thought about it.” I rolled my eyes at her once again. Did Paisley really think I would use my real name?

“Hey, don’t get sassy with me, I’m only trying to help,” Paisley yelled and I knew she was right.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” I apologized, “Help me come up with a name.”

They both stayed quiet for a while thinking of the best name to use.“Vicky? Jenny? Alexia? How about Nicole, after all, it is your middle name?”

“Great, Nicole it is.” Hartley finished filling the form and pressed enter. Anxious she waited until it brought her to a profile, which soon she realized it was hers. She quickly set out to fix it, wanting it to look more mysterious. “What should I write on the about me?” she asked Paisley.

“Beats me. I’m horrible at that stuff.” She shrugged it off.

I set out to write the first thing that came to my mind. “I tie my own shoes and brush my own hair most days.” I piercingly said it as I wrote it down.

“Are you seriously going to use that?” Paisley expressed her honest opinion as she rolled her eyes. “What are you ten?”

However, I disregarded her. “During the day, I can be found sitting in a brown desk, feverishly tapping my phone with hopes of getting a new high score on Candy Crush. I like to pass my evenings watching reruns of Grey’s anatomy while sipping on a cup of delicious apple cider. I play a mean game of poker and love the smell of coffee in the morning.”

“I’ll be surprised if anyone even messages you.” Paisley laughed and I stuck my tongue out at her.

“You should message me if you are smart, sexy, sophisticated and spontaneous. Bonus points if you like the Gothic rock scene.”

“I don’t think anyone is going to reach out with that.” Paisley chuckled and I threw a pillow at her.

“We will see about that, man love women with a good sense of humor. Now come and take a picture of me. I need a sexy picture.” I grabbed the cell phone and handed it to Paisley. “Take a really good one.”

Fixing my skirt and pulling down my shirt a bit just to show more cleavage I smiled. When Paisley had taken a few, I took the phone back and smirked as I uploaded it to the computer and into the profile. “This is totally going to work.” I turned the laptop around and showed Paisley the final project.

“If you say so.” she rolled her eyes as I took a deep breath; this needed to work for me. I had no other option now.