Trophy

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Was this, too, part of growing up? Was it facing the bad things you'd done as well as the good, and knowing all your mistakes had consequences? Peter made mistakes all the time— he was thoughtless; he hurt people. But it never troubled him, not for a moment. He forgot all about it in an instant. That was being a boy.

*Christina Henry, Lost Boy: The True Story of Captain Hook*

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My heart beats erratically as I run through the dingy home I live in. Mom's screams come from the room as daddy chases me. He's not playing, he's being mean again, the smell on his breath is gross. I hide in the corner under the small table with the once white cover. Now stained by drinks and smoke, ashes, holes covered the top spread of it. I try to slow my breathing so he doesn't find me. Noise comes from my lips that I can't stop. It's a garbled no through the hot tears that fall down my face. "Where are you, you little fuck" dad growls.

I squeeze my eyes shut hugging my sticky teddy tight, he's covered in syrup. Mommy makes me pancakes a lot, and for whatever reason he gets mad. He says I'm a waste of life, that I should never have been born. My heart thunders as mommy's screams get closer and he fights her. Mommy no he's going to hurt you mommy please stop! "Leave him alone" she screams with the same fear and tears I have.

"Listen you fuckin wench get the fuck outta here he needs a lesson" he growls.

"No, No please, he's just a baby, he's my baby keep your hands off of him" she pleads.

"Hm, he's four, he ain't no baby anymore" he growls, then I hear a loud smacking noise and mommy is on the floor.

Blood flows from her nose and she's not moving, mommy no, please wake up. I get so scared I crawl from under the table. My heart is eradicated from my chest. It hurts so much, I run for the door but he chases me yelling to come back. He's gaining on me, I can't get out the latch is on the door with a big chain. I can't reach it mommy Please! I scramble up the stairs to my room as he follows, my stomach is in knots. He's going to hurt me again, just like he hurts mommy. I need to get out and run.

Mommy said if anything ever happened to get outside and run to Paulla's house. I run to mommy's room and take her coat. She won't mind, mommy loves me but won't help me get away from him. I carefully slip out her window, and slide down to the end of the roof. He's in the window yelling at me to get back in. Cursing as I jump, right into mommy's pile of garbage she hasn't taken out in a while. Mommy's been sick, really sick, she doesn't even want to get out of bed anymore.

Today was my birthday and mommy was trying to make me a cake. She took some of his money, that's why he's angry. I hear a loud bang in the house and I creep to the window seeing mommy's blood spill out on the floor. I scream seeing him standing there with the big gun in his hand. He killed mommy, NOOOOO! I take off running for Paulla's but there's doggies in the woods. They're not friendly they want to hurt me too. Mommy says to stay away from them so I try, I run through the water tube under the roads, they can't get in them. Trying to escape I think I've peed in my pants, mommy says that's bad.

I can't help it when I'm scared. My cries get more as I run across the field, and I see flash lights. The doggies are right behind me I can feel their breathing on my neck almost. I'm almost there, and then I trip, "oweeeee" my blood pours out just like mommy's from my leg. The big doggy steps over me, his teeth really big and snarling. Frothing at the mouth, I'm stuck, I'm going to die, just like my mommy. There's a big boom through the air and the doggy falls on top of me, its blood making me warm soaking over mommy's jacket. I can hear men talking and then the big doggy is moved. A lady falls to her knees flashing her light over me. I curl into a ball and start crying more.

A man comes over lifting me as the lady coos in a soft voice. "Brian he's scared, we need to get him to the hospital" she says.

"No, noooo, mummy, my mommy" I squeak in a scared voice.

"Where's your mommy sweetheart" she asks rubbing the hair out of my eyes.

"Mommy, daddy gun, hurt her" I say in broken English.

Mommy tried to teach me words but it was hard when he was always in the way. The lady's eyes get big and she looks up at the man who holds me. "Brian, we need to call the police" the lady says.

He nods as I point to my house, I'm suddenly tucked in a truck seat. Exhausted from running, my heart finally slowing as the lady sits with me. She hums a pretty song to me as I lay curled up on the seat. She fought with me to take mummy's coat, and wrapped me in a blanket after checking me over. She cleaned my leg and wrapped it in a cloth almost like the cover on the table I hid under a lot. My eyes slip closed and I fall asleep in a fitful sleep. Reliving the night's events, daddy was really mad at mummy, and he killed her. I wake up in a big room with lots of white, a curtain half closed.

There's something in my arm, and the lady that hummed so nicely is now standing beside the bed I'm in. It's not like the bed at home, it has silver bars like what daddy would tie mummy to. The lady's smile was super pretty, she had red lips like strawberries mummy and I would pick outside. Another lady came in with pretty eyes like mummy's, and sat a big dish on a table that moved over me and the bed. There was a lot of food on the dish. Mmm I've had that before, my mummy called it jello, but it didn't have this white stuff. I frowned at the long crunchy strips, and poked them. The lady giggled and told me they were chicken fingers. She showed me how to dip them in this stuff that she called sweet and sour sauce.

Then she helped me put this ketchup stuff on the plate and dip my potato fries in it. I was used to sandwiches, ones with sugar and peanut, peanut bu—butter. Chicken, fingers, chicken fingers, I said over and over in my mind. So no one could hear me, my tummy made a growling noise and I ate more. Everything that was on the dish. Then the lady brought me a little cake, she said it was a cup - cake. Co - co - late, no no cho - co - late. That's it, chocolate, cho - co - late. The lady said that I could go home now. But I don't want to go home, my mommy is not there, and I don't want to be with him. I fought them, I didn't want to go, I even bit the nice lady that gave me the cup - cake.

"What are we going to do Brian, he has no one, we've searched for family but there is no one" she said to him quiet but I could hear her.

"Well I don't know, Angel, are we ready for another child, do you think this is right, I mean, he bit you" he says.

"Huh, he's scared Brian, he needs love, and I think we're ready, let's just sign the papers" she says with her eyes getting watery.

"Hmm, ok, if this is what you want, we'll do it, he can come home with us" they hugged, like mummy used to hug me.

Then their lips pressed together, mummy would kiss me like that but not on the lips. I frowned watching them, and then the man smiled at me. I knew then that I was going to be ok.

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Part two — the new family, and Dylan grown:

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**My new mummy! Daddy and Braden!**

She tucks me into my bed and kisses my forehead, I like when she does this. She reads books to me, a lot! My new daddy plays hide and seek with me. Not like my old daddy did, my new new daddy tickles me, and Braden chases me outside with water that comes out of a clear gun. It doesn't hurt though, my new mummy plays a piano, that's not the word. I watch her though, and she sometimes sets me on her legs and helps me make pretty music.

Braden plays cars with me on the big circle in his room. Braden goes to school, and tells me all about it when he comes home. There is this really nice lady that comes to help me learn colours and numbers when my new mummy is at work. She also plays pretty music on the piano and she is showing me how too. We have ice cream sitting outside though because I make a mess.

New Mummy said there's going to be a new baby in the house, and her name is going to be Calla. She won't be here until I go to school though. That day comes finally I am a big boy, I walk down the street with Braden proudly. My new mummy walking with us, there's a big yellow bus waiting for us. Braden takes me on the bus and new mummy waves from outside. It makes me sad that mummy can't come with us but I know I will see her again after. I like my new family they're not like my old one, they're so much nicer, and my birthday is going to be on the weekend. New Mummy tells me we're going to go somewhere special, I'm so Ex - excited. We go for a car trip and it is special alright, there is cars on big pipes that take you around and around, and games that are fun!

Me and Braden like the race car one. Mummy brings a big cake that looks like a race car and everyone sings happy birthday to me. I am now 5, and bigger now, my new mummy gives me what she said are presents. I open them to find toys, cars that are my own, and a new teddy! One that doesn't smell like syrup and isn't sticky. It starts to get dark out and new daddy takes me to the car my eyes are really sleepy. I'm soon home in my soft bed that smells like clean. Mummy tucks me in and sings me a song, her voice is so pretty. I'm almost done kindergarten, and going to grade one, if my old mummy could see me right now she would be so happy. I am now writing letters and a bit of words.

**Summer vacation!**

New Mummy and daddy have a big boat, it floats in the water, and you can sleep inside of it. We spend summer being lazy, new mummy says. New Daddy teaches me how to swim, he says I'm a fast learner. When we get home new daddy takes Braden and me to his work. There is lots of trees with fruit. New Daddy gives me some and I like the cherries most. Braden gets bored and wants to go home, but not me I like being with new daddy! New Daddy says that one day all of his work could be mine if I learn all about it, I think I would like that.

I spend a lot of time with new daddy, he takes me to farms where there is animals too! I get to ride on the back of a horse, and we ride through a field where new daddy says it grows the most important part of his work. Wheat, and barley, new daddy calls it, now I want to be just like new daddy. I follow him everywhere around the house trying to be. He giggles at me when I try to watch him shave. He went and got me a pretend razor, and my own cream to put on my face.

New daddy bought me a suit today, and let me wear it to his work. New mummy says it makes me look so handsome, then new daddy's lady that answers his phone says it too. We finish the day and new daddy smiles at me, "we have to get home buddy, your sisters are at home" he says.

My eyes sparkle, my sisters, then I think new mummy said sister not sisters but when we get home there's two girls. Babies, I kneel beside them in their little chairs and touch their little hands. They both move grabbing my finger their tiny fingers gripping me tight and it's then and there that I vow. "It's ok, you're home now, I'll keep you safe too" I whisper.

Mummy and daddy smile holding each other and for the first time I have a purpose in life. To protect my baby sisters, even though they aren't really, they are. Their big brown eyes watching me, happily, and I tell mummy I want to sleep with them. She lets me and pulls their baby beds into my room. Mummy calls them bassinets. Mummy has a sleepover in my room too, and I couldn't be anymore happy.

**Grade 11!**

Boxing is fun, really fun, I continue my piano lessons as well. Calla and Perrina are finally in my school. Grade 7 I can protect them again and I'm at ease. A boy dares to touch them and I knock them out. Plain and simple, mom and dad say I need to stop it because getting expelled from school is bad. I can't though, I love my sisters. I meet this girl who's in grade 12, she's really nice. Her mom is even nicer and she has introduced me to something I never thought would be useful. It tames the anger inside me. Allows me to be calm and in control, even though I'm not in control. Then comes grade 12 and I visit her every weekend. Mom and dad think I'm visiting Vanessa but I'm not. I hide it from them because they just won't understand.

Graduation day comes along and Mrs. Price gives me a graduation present, she says I'm ready to be in charge instead of being a bottom. University takes me away and I find myself falling in love with what she's taught me. Two years away from home has proved interesting and gratifying all in one. I never knew there were so many pretty girls out there willing to fall at my feet. Between business studies and parties and using what Mrs. Price taught me my schedule is full. My nightmares are a constant reminder though. I wake up every single night feeling the pain and screaming, sweating profusely.

Nothing can take it away, nothing I've found so far, it hurts to know how my birthmother just gave into him like that. He was a sick sick man, and I vow to never be like him. How you could deny your child that you brought into this world, a life, and just throw it away like that. I'm so very grateful that Brian and Cathleen found me and took me in. I'll never be able to repay them, ever. My heart is theirs, no matter what I owe them my life!

That is why when I get done my schooling I am going to take over dads brewing company. So he and mom can retire fully and travel the world now that us kids are grown up. With Calla and Perrina away in Paris studying fashion and beauty, Braden still in tow for next best detective things are looking up. Graduation day was full of celebrating and well wishes but most of all mom's kisses. She made me feel light hearted again like that little boy she rescued from the woods. Then on into my first year of taking over Decker Industries and Brewers.

I shadowed dad for the first year, then took over and thus bringing us to present day. 3 years after graduation and taking over making the company stronger in customer status and inter business relations. I find myself becoming bored and run down from the day in day out grind. I need something that is going to bring me out of this slump, and hopefully take away my nightmares. Mom and dad are back from Barbados and their 6 month trip, the girls are flying home. Braden is still the booger he's always been, trying to get me on a speeding ticket. Nice try big bro, ain't gonna happen. All about to gather for mom and dads annual fundraiser for alcoholics and abused women. Mom and dad strongly believe that it will help change families around the world. Which brings me to my next dilemma.

Mom always trying to set me up with her social group of friends daughters. Blaaa they're so boring and - well goodie goodies. This year I need to find someone to take and fast or I'll be sitting falling asleep at the table again listening to Milly Bradly's stories. They're all the same, wanting in my pants, but my pants don't want any fucking part of them. They bore me so much it's a turn off completely. I couldn't be any less attracted to them if I tried. They're not adventurous and raw, they're shy and feeble and they do not want their butts smacked.

I need a girl that knows what she wants, one that is willing to be adventurous and daring. Not set in their rhythmic bubble of prime heir to money and proper prime wealth. That's not me, even though mom and dad have tried I cuss I swear and I love sex. I love it when a woman talks dirty to me, makes it exciting, thrilling. I don't need some damn crystal glass that might shatter on contact. I need a woman that will suck my dick and smile while doing it, not turn up her nose at it.

Falling asleep in my bed thinking about it, maybe tomorrow will bring something good. Then I wake up screaming and sweating. Falling asleep again only to be woke up by my 6 am internal alarm.

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